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You’ve probably already had many safety talks with your child—like wearing a bicycle helmet or washing hands after using the restroom. As parents and caregivers, we want our kids to be safe. But sometimes we skip a crucial safety talk because it makes us uncomfortable, or we don’t know much about it, or we just don’t understand how important it is.
Even if you’ve talked with your child about their body, it’s important that you have the “whole talk.” Talk with them about body parts, body boundaries, and appropriate touch. The younger a child is, the easier it is to start these conversations, but you can absolutely begin at any age! Kids are never too old to talk about body safety. Teens can definitely benefit from conversations about body boundaries and types of touches. Start talking and keep talking with your teen. As your teen gets older and experiences different types of situations, they’ll know you’re still there and available to talk.
Here are some guidelines for talking with kids about body safety. Then scroll to the bottom of the page to learn about today’s activity.
What if something comes up?
If, during one of your talks, you learn about abuse, keep calm. Then to report child abuse to the Oregon Child Abuse Hotline at 1-855-503-SAFE (7233). The Oregon Child Abuse Hotline receives calls 24 hours a day. 7 days a week, 365 days a year. If you think someone is being hurt or is in danger, call 911 immediately.
Talk about body parts. When you normalize the names of private body parts—such as penis, vagina, breasts, and bottom or buttocks—you help reduce any shame or confusion surrounding these parts. You also create an easy “in” to talk about which body parts are considered private and why. Be sure to include the mouth in these discussion—because the mouth can also be considered a private body part.
Discuss body boundaries. Start with an important boundary: no one should ever touch your private parts nor should they make you touch theirs. Let your child know that they get to decide who touches them. They get to set boundaries with family members and friends. Allow your child to decide whether they want to receive or give a hug. They can easily give a high five, fist bump, or a wave instead. And have them start asking for permission to give hugs to other people. Consent goes both ways.
Talk about touch. First, know the right way to talk about touch. Terms like “good touch” and “bad touch” can confuse kids, because abuse (specifically sexual abuse) does not necessarily feel bad physically. It’s more clear if you talk about touch as, “comfortable vs. uncomfortable” or “appropriate vs. inappropriate.” Discuss scenarios where certain kinds of touches are OK—like when a doctor is checking to see if your body is healthy.
Use media to make it relevant. Older kids and teenagers are connected to media at a whole other level. Use social media, a tv show, or a movie to ask them what they think about different situations involving body safety. Empower them to share their opinions—it shows that you care about what they think and how they approach situations.
Share your own stories. Sharing a personal experience about body safety can make you feel vulnerable—but sharing your experiences sets a powerful example for your teen. And you also show your teen how relevant you can be to discussions about body safety. You can make these kinds of conversations easier by choosing a place where you feel comfortable to share.
Connect it to their friends. These kinds of conversations aren’t just for your teen’s benefit—help them understand their friends can be safer as a result. Teach your teen about potential red flags. Talk about how they would handle it if a friend confided in them about abuse. Let your teen know that they never have to carry that burden of disclosure on their own. They can always bring those situations to you and ask for help. Be ready and willing to make a report to help protect your teen’s friend.
Young kids (0-4 years old): Have your child point to body parts as you call them out. Use anatomically correct names! Have a conversation about what parts are considered private and why.
School-age kids (5-10 years old): Ask your child to give examples of safe, unsafe, and unwanted touches. Review names of body parts.
Tweens and teens (11-17 years old): Pick a movie where issues of body safety come up. (Some suggestions: Sixteen Candles, etc.) Get a movie night on the family calendar. When you do watch the movie together, be ready to talk about safety issues afterwards.
That’s it for Day 2! See you tomorrow!
