I say stumble upon as it was through a series of decisions that I thought would take me in one direction that definitely took me in the total opposite direction.

I declared my major early in my first semester of college.  I was going to be a Psychologist. I wanted to help people.  I had finished two semesters of school and still felt like I was on the right path.  In my third semester, there was a required class on behavioral modification techniques.  Or at least I think that was what it was about.  After sitting through the first class I went straight to my advisor’s office and sat in the hallway waiting for him to get into his office.  I sat on that hard, cold, tiled floor with my back against the dingy wall sipping on a cold Dr. Pepper and eating Hot Fries I had purchased out of the vending machine at the end of the hall.  I sat there for about an hour and a half.  I wanted to change my major and needed to figure out how to do that quickly without losing any credits.  In fact I wanted to drop the behavioral mod class immediately.  In that first class, the instructor was going over the syllabus and was explaining that 50% of your grade was going to come from lab work.  In this lab work you had one mission, to train a little white lab mouse to go through a wooden maze.  You would do a series of experiments using different techniques and your grade would come at the end of the semester and would be based on whether or not your mouse could successfully make it through the maze to the cheese.  Right then I was pretty sure this class was not going to help me help people.  I was certain I would never pass the class.  AND I absolutely knew that I did not want to test out how electric shock could be used for behavior modification with white lab mice. I also knew that I never ever wanted to hear about how it was used on people to manage behavioral changes.

My advisor, who didn’t know my name or really anything about me, listened to me for a few minutes.  He sort of chuckled and told me to wait until the middle of the class before I made up my mind.  He really didn’t know me!  I made up my mind and there was little that was going to change my mind.  I told him I didn’t want to waste time or pull my GPA down when I failed the class.  He suggested Social Work.  I could get my BSW and graduate on time without losing any credits.  My sister was in the Social Work program at the same school.  I told him to sign me up!

That decision propelled me down a different path.  I became intrigued by the subject of child abuse.  I remember sitting in my very first child abuse class.  I was 19 and the class was large maybe 50 people.  I remember being riveted by the class lectures.  I remember looking around and not seeing anyone else reacting and wondering how is it that this is going on around me and I know nothing about it.  Why isn’t any one doing anything to stop it?  I literally had never had anyone up to that point talk to me about child abuse.  I read a couple of magazine articles but I never thought it was happening around me to people I knew.

I completed an internship on a cutting edge child abuse team at the Ouachita Parish Sheriff’s Office.  I knew that this work was my thing—was my purpose.  That decision would take me on path that would cross paths with some of the most compassionate, passionate, empathetic and highly skilled professionals in the field.  I feel so lucky to have been so patient waiting on the floor in front of the office of someone who even though his actions had such a huge impact on my life—I cannot remember his name.

I am now, well….let just say much older than 19.  I am still amazed when I look around and see that very few people really know anything about child abuse.  It has been more than 30 years since I sat in that auditorium in Monroe, Louisiana learning about what child abuse looks like and hearing about the societal issues that lead to child abuse. I have spent a lot of energy learning as much as I could about child abuse, its impact on the child, on the community and on the world.

Here are the top five things I want people to know about child abuse.

1. It is a community problem.  It is our business.  It is not something to be kept quiet and swept under a rug or locked in a closet.  I hear people complaining about the amount of money our country puts into the prison system.  I hear people complaining about the rising costs of medical care.  I hear people complaining about how much money our country spends on mental health and the treatment of substance abuse problems.  Guess what?  These costs will continue to rise until as a community we decide that intervening in child abuse is a priority.
2. We, as individuals, are not helpless against child abuse. There are many things we can do to help address the problem of child abuse.  We can make a report when we see a child mistreated.  We can let our elected officials know that we want our children protected and we want them to be a priority.  We can take a class to educate ourselves on how to identify and respond to child abuse.  (The CAC offers a great child sexual abuse prevention class called Stewards of Children.  Call and get registered!).  We can make a donation to an organization that provides services to children who have been abused to insure that every child that needs services can access services.
3. Children are not abused because they “asked for it”. No matter what their behavior, violence is not the “fix”.  Fill your “parenting toolbox” with something other than physical violence.  Discipline does not have to hurt to work.
4. In every community, every neighborhood, and every zip code there are children being abused.  Do not fool yourself into thinking otherwise.  People who society has labeled as successful can abuse children.  People who have great jobs, who dress nice, who drive fancy cars are also capable of abusing children.  It is not something that only happens in low income high risk neighborhoods.
5. EVERY SINGLE child deserves to be safe. The one that acts out with violence and that is disrespectful.  The one that smells bad and wears tattered clothing.  The one that is slow to learn.  The one that cries all the time.  The one that devours your personal space.  The one that pushes you away.  The one that medicates herself with drugs.  The one that mutilates himself.  The one that is a chronic runaway. The child who is of color. The child who is LGBTQ+.  ALL children have a basic right to be free and safe from abuse of all types.

The problem of child abuse is never going to be completely resolved until we all do our part to address it in our everyday lives.  There is a child somewhere depending on you to do something.  What will your something be?  Will you volunteer at the Children’s Advocacy Center or some other agency that serves child abuse victims?  Will you write a check to the Children’s Advocacy Center to help a child in his recovery from the trauma caused by abuse?  Will you set aside two and half hours to take Stewards of Children at the Children’s Advocacy Center to learn about recognizing and responding to child abuse?  How can I support you in your journey to keep the children of Jackson County safe from abuse?