The Children's Advocacy Center of Jackson County

Tag: Taylor Swift

  • What Will Be YOUR One Thing?

    By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    Have you picked up a paper lately and there not be a story about someone coming out and stepping forward to tell about their abuse history?

    Almost daily there is a breaking news story about a child actor or actress being sexually assaulted or harassed.  Some of it a long time ago.  Some of it not so long ago.  I have watched and read in fascination.

    Has it happened?  Have we reached the tipping point?  Have we reached a time where we have created a safe environment for those who have been abused to tell their story?  Or is it those who have been abused demanding safety for those who come behind them and face the same situations…whether it be on a casting couch, in the locker room or at home?

    I think Taylor Swift started a revolution.  Maybe it is coincidental, but I have said in the past that her actions had the potential to change the world.  Maybe they have.

    There are those who would say that everyone coming forward are in it for the money.  Can we think about this logically for a minute?  ACES, the Adverse Childhood Experiences Study, tells us that children who experience trauma have a high incidence of substance abuse, eating disorders, suicide, cancer, diabetes, mental health issues, and many other diagnoses that span over their lifetime.  This is research.  This is evidence based.

    Keeping that in mind, let’s look at Corey Haim.  He died young.  He had substance abuse issues throughout his life.  And there was public speculation regarding his sexual abuse as a young person by authority figures in Hollywood.  You could say the same thing regarding Corey Feldman.  Or the Michael Jackson’s accusers–the list is endless.

    Before you discount the validity of any of the people coming forward today with disclosures, educate yourself about what the dynamics of child sexual abuse are.  In the case of those who this happened to as adults, learn about the dynamics of power and control in sexual assault.  Rape is not a crime about sexual pleasure in many cases.  It is about power and control and humiliation.  It is about aggression.

    I am not naive enough to think that every single person who is coming forward and making accusations is telling the complete truth.  But I do know that, statistically speaking, more allegations are true than are not true.

    Why do we work so hard to disprove the accuser and believe the accused?

    I also know that liking someone or admiring someone or idolizing someone does not equal their innocence as an offender.  Who do we think commits these crimes?  They are our friends, our heroes, our family, our bosses, our employees, our ministers, and our teachers…just think about the statistics.  One in ten children will be sexually abused before their 18th birthday.  70% of all sexual assaults happen to children age 17 and younger.  And 90% to 95% of those abused know their abusers.

    We have some momentum going on at the national level.  How do we keep it going?  How do we get it started on a local level?  How do we continue to create a safe space for child sexual abuse victims to come forward?

    We start by doing one thing.

    Would you join me and do one thing to support an abused child? What will be your one thing?  Will you make a report?  Will you believe a child?  Will you make a donation to support the Children’s Advocacy Center’s efforts to help abused children begin to heal?  Will you volunteer some time at the Children’s Advocacy Center? Will you create a safe space for a child to come forward?

    Will you be courageous and believe them when they do?

    For more information about the CAC’s Do One Thing That Matters campaign and view the full list of things you can do that matter to an abused child, visit: http://cacjc.org/do-one-thing-that-matters-2018/

  • Taylor Swift changed the conversation (and maybe the world)

    By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of The Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    Last month Taylor Swift was awarded one dollar in a law suit against D.J. David Mueller.

    If you do not know the story, here is the short version.  A few years ago, Taylor Swift was in Denver at a Meet ‘N Greet and David Mueller grabbed her bare butt under her skirt.  Her mother later reported it to his employers and they fired him.  He then sued for defamation and lost.  Taylor Swift counter sued him for sexual assault for 1 dollar and won.

    I will be honest that I was never a big fan of Taylor Swift.  I liked “Shake It Off” as much as the next guy I guess.  It was a catchy tune.  If you would have asked me a month ago if I thought she was a good role model for our daughters, I probably would have said, “no”.  You can google her and a long string of articles involving boyfriend drama come up.

    On August 15, 2017 that changed.  I would tell you now that I am thankful for her courage.  I am thankful she made a statement when she could have made it about money.

    I would even go so far as to say that parents should use this “incident” as a teaching moment for our sons as well as our daughters.

    She went to trial when she could have remained silent.  This young lady did not back down when the defense attorney tried to place blame on her.  She stood proudly and stood firm.  She CALLED the OFFENDER out!  She clearly and firmly stated, “I’m not going to allow you or your client to say I am to blame.”  In my head, this statement is followed by the court room spectators doing the wave!

    She received a dollar as her judgement.  This move has silenced the would-be naysayers who would claim this was about money.  It was about more than money.  It was about sending a message.

    I think Taylor Swift has changed the conversation and here are the reasons why I think so…

    1)      By stepping out of the shadows, she has literally just shown the world that you can be a victim of sexual assault, tell your story and be believed.  This move will send a message to young teenage girls struggling…to full grown adult women…to the famous and the never known…that there is hope and safety available out there.  Heck!  Let’s hope the message crosses the gender line and brings hope to all people who have suffered abuse.

    2)     I do not know at what point it became accepted that men had the right to grope a woman.  Somehow the message has been sent that if you are a pretty young girl with a great body, you are asking for someone to touch you and that if they do, it is okay.  You should not be so fit or so pretty. Taylor Swift has shown that you can be pretty.  You can be successful.  AND has boldly reminded the world that it is not okay to grab someone who does not want to be grabbed.  Anywhere.  Much less on their bare bottom. Boys will be boys is no longer tolerated.

    3)     You can be 27 and change the world.  Your voice matters.  You can change the conversation.

    4)     No matter how much she was pressured, led, or blamed…she held firm and redirected the responsibility back on the offender.

    5)     The conversation changed when it was not about money.  I guess I don’t have a problem if it had been about money.  If you are abused, no amount of money is going to change that it happened, but it can give you the resources to recover.  But by taking money out of the equation, those who always go there…have no reason to.  When I say “go there”…you know what I am talking about…she is only trying to make a buck.  She is only trying to ruin his life, his career.  She is only trying to bankrupt the poor guy.

    He ruined his life and career by making poor choices.  She did not bankrupt him.  She did not profit in any way from this except to gain an almost 50-year-old woman living in Medford Oregon as a fan.