Tag: Leah Howell

  • Are your kids safe at summer camp?

    By Leah Howell

    I have worked at summer camps for most of my career.  I started as a junior camp counselor, and over the course of high school, college, and graduate school found myself drawn to camp program management in the most beautiful of settings.  I completed my graduate thesis at a summer camp, and have never regretted contributing the majority of my time and efforts to concepts of leadership development, environmental conservation, and teamwork during these years.

    As the past Training Coordinator for a sexual abuse prevention program at the CAC, and learning about prevention as well as the prevalence of sexual abuse,  I recognize how inadequate the standard camp measures were in creating a flawlessly safe environment for youth.  As Camp Counselors, Program Directors and Camp Administrators, safety was on our radar – we were keenly aware of the dangerous and overtly suspicious situations involving adults and youth.  However, looking back over the course of many years working and living at camps, I now more fully recognize the potentially compromising environments that exist in a youth camp setting. Consistent and costly changes to the camp’s physical environment, facilities, organizational processes and staff structures would have been needed to totally eliminate potentially harmful situations. I doubt much has changed in camp standards in the last 15 years.

    I do not say all this to scare you, Parents. Camp can be a wonderful enriching experience in a youth’s life. I only say this to communicate how crucial it is for you to get proactively involved to increase the protection of your kids.  I advise this not only as they go away to day camp or sleep away camp, but as they interact with organizations of all kinds.

    Here is some great advice from Dr. Jackie Humans, on how to best prevent, recognize and react to sexual abuse, which can be applied to all organizations that provide care for your child.

    “According to Psychology Today, adolescents account for approximately 50% of all sexual abuse.  Unfortunately, summer camp is an ideal place for abusers; in recent years, sexual abuse has occurred at Christian camps, publicly funded camps, Boy Scout camps, and even the camp run by the school President Obama’s daughters attend.  While no camp is immune from the possibility of sexual abuse, there are five important steps parents can take to prevent their child from becoming a victim of abuse.

    1. Educate about body parts

    When teaching your child the names of body parts, use the proper terms for penis, scrotum, vagina and anus. The use of euphemisms can jeopardize your child’s credibility should they someday need to report abuse. Explain that these parts of their body are very private, and that no one should be touching them there unless that person has a legitimate reason (e.g., a pediatrician or early child care provider).

    Because every child molester asks their victims to keep the abuse between the two of them, teach your child that it’s never okay to keep a secret (unless it has an ‘expiration’ date, such as a surprise party) and that if someone touches their private parts they need to tell you or another adult (many camps forbid cell phones) immediately; and to keep telling until they get help.

    Even if someone just makes them feel uncomfortable or creepy when they’re nearby, they need to report it.

    Make it clear that no matter what another child or adult may tell them, they will never get into trouble for reporting.

    Lastly, move heaven and earth to make sure that no adult is ever allowed to be alone with your child. The only way abusers can do what they do is by having uninterrupted, private access to a child.

    1. Screen the camp

    It is important for parents to know that the camp has policies and procedures in place to minimize the risk of sexual abuse. Parents should ask the following questions:

    Are criminal background checks (including the sex offenders registry) performed on all personnel? How many references does the camp require, and how does the camp check them?

    What training do staff members receive about child sexual abuse?

    How are campers made aware of what to do if they feel unsafe?

    Under what circumstances are staff members allowed to be alone with a camper? (The answer needs to be: NONE!)

    How does the camp monitor behavior of older campers with their younger peers?

    Are at least two adult counselors assigned to sleep in each cabin?

    Who is responsible for enforcing camp rules and regulations?

    1. Recognize potential abusers

    The Center for Disease Control and Prevention reported in 2005 that 1 in 6 boys and 1 in 4 girls are sexually assaulted before the age of 18. The vast majority of abusers (90%) are male, and 71% of the time, the abuser knows the victim.

    Whenever someone seems to be overly interested in your child, beware. Camps routinely forbid their counselors to babysit or spend time with campers outside camp precisely because a counselor who has had the opportunity to develop a close relationship with your child is in a position to have an undue amount of influence. Sexual predators tend to be masters at “grooming” their victims by insinuating themselves into their victim’s life and becoming someone the child likes and trusts.

    What many parents don’t realize is that almost a third of sexually abused children are victimized by an older child. That’s why it’s important to know what the camp’s policies are regarding how much contact is permitted between different age groups and how well supervised the groups are.

    1. Know the warning signs of sexual abuse

    Warning signs of sexual abuse in younger children:

    Trouble walking or sitting

    Precocious awareness of sexual topics

    Seductive behavior

    Unprecedented shyness about getting undressed

    Avoiding a specific individual for no apparent reason

    Sleep disturbances

    Bedwetting or soiling

    Expressing concern about genitalia

    Reluctance to go back to camp

    Warning signs of sexual abuse in older children:

    Unusual interest in or avoidance of sexual topics

    Depression or suicidal thoughts

    Self-isolation/emotional aloofness

    Hostility or aggressive behavior

    Secretiveness

    Seductive behavior

    Sleep disturbances

    Substance abuse

    Reluctance to go back to camp

    1. Know what to do if you suspect abuse

    Support your child: Research shows that the single most important factor in a child’s doing well after being abused is the steady emotional support of their parents. First and foremost, keep your true feelings hidden and remain calm and collected. It’s the most courageous and kindest thing you can do for your child.

    Explain that abuse is never, ever their fault.  Many times victims of child sexual abuse will wait years or decades before revealing what happened, and even then it’s usually only to their therapist. When asked why they never reported the abuse as a child, patients admit that sometimes the sexual stimulation of their genitalia was pleasurable and they always believed this meant the abuse was partially their own fault. That’s why it’s critically important to explain to a child that the abuse is never, ever their fault, not even a little tiny bit, no matter what.

    Make sure they know you believe them. Some children never report sexual abuse because they fear they won’t be believed, especially when the abuser is known and trusted by the family. Tell your child you believe them; children rarely lie about having been sexually abused. Acting as though you might doubt your child will only compound the psychological damage sustained from having been abused.

    Praise them for sharing.  After your child has finished telling you what happened, praise them for confiding in you and let them know you realize it couldn’t have been easy. Then immediately notify the local authorities or call the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1.800.4.A.CHILD (1.800.422.4453)

    Minimizing the chances of abuse 

    Child molesters are adept at manipulating their victims into believing that the abuse is the child’s fault, that they won’t be believed if it’s reported, and that they or someone they love will get hurt if abuse gets reported. By letting your child know their private parts are off limits to others and that they will never get in trouble for reporting, that it’s never OK for someone to ask them to keep a “forever” secret, and by not allowing any adult to be alone with your child, you’re making your child far less vulnerable to predators who know how to exploit the naivete of children.

    Dr. Jackie Humans is a graduate of the Workplace Bullying Institute, the only organization in the United States that trains individuals how to present anti-bullying programs for bullying in the workplace. She also works with Child Abuse Prevention Services (CAPS), a nonprofit organization that sends volunteers into schools to present programs about keeping kids safe. She is a well-known speaker and program leader on subjects such as bully prevention, Internet safety, sexual harassment, date rape and child abuse, and the author of 15 Ways to ZAP a Bully!

  • Finding a Voice: Vince Gill

     

    By Leah Howell, Training Coordinator for the Protect Our Children Project of the Children’s Advocacy Center

    I’m not much of a country music fan, though I lived 30 minutes from Nashville throughout my college years, and for sometime afterward. Even now, 20 years later, I will read about a country musician, that will bring me back to my life there. The Ryman Auditorium always catches my attention.  An old, beautiful, former church-turned performance hall.  I’ll admit, I’ve only stepped into the Ryman one time. If my memory serves, I only got as far as the entryway.  I still have regrets about not going to see some of the great performers that have graced its stage. But recently my attention was caught for a totally different reason. 

    Once again, a famous person broke his silence.

    “You come up here and get to sing one song, and you go, what the hell you gonna sing?” said (Vince) Gill, 60,… “I think that the greatest way to live is to welcome the moment that you’re in and the time frame that you’re in. I chose this song that I wrote some years ago, and never really knew where the song came from, other than… We’re living in a time right now when finally people are having the courage to kind of speak out about being abused. And I think that is beyond healthy, and beyond beautiful, to see people finally have a voice for being wronged. And maybe this song came from a personal experience for me.

    I was in seventh grade, and a young, dumb kid,” he continued. “And I had a gym teacher that acted inappropriately towards me and was trying to do things that I didn’t know what the hell was going on. And I was just fortunate that I got up and I ran. I just jumped up and I ran. I don’t know why. And I don’t think I ever told anybody my whole life. But maybe what’s been going on has given me a little bit of courage to speak out, too. I’m going to sing you this song that was inspired by all the people that are…” He let the thought trail off as he began picking out the introductory licks, but the cultural moment didn’t require much elaboration. (Variety, Feb 9th, 2018)

    It takes a lot of courage to be on stage and share something so traumatic with an auditorium full of people. It causes me to  think about the bravery of so many men and women in Hollywood and beyond who recently came forward, having been violated, intimidated and physically threatened by those in power.  I feel my heart ache to think of all of the young gymnasts who suffered in silence (and some who weren’t silent) in the hands of a “well-respected” physician. I think of all of the women who endured being drugged and raped only to watch a comedian and sitcom actor become rich and famous as a “decent family man.” 

    I think of all the men and women and boys and girls who see these stories, and wish they had the courage to tell. 

    Because of the prevalence of these experiences, we know there are many, many people suffering with corrosive secrets.  Secrets they may be afraid to tell for fear they hear an echo of those words swimming in their head – the words that tell them it was their fault. Blaming is language innocent victims know too well.

    Many of you reading this post have never personally dealt with these issues, and may feel ill-equipped to handle discussions and disclosures with such deeply personal implications.  But I would encourage you to consider changing your approach. Instead of using the usual tactics of shutting down the conversation or avoiding it altogether, take steps to become more comfortable and open. For starters, attend one of our Protect our Children-Stewards of Children training sessions. It will increase your comfort level, give you some tools to use as you participate in discussions, teach you how to respond to disclosures of abuse, and outline what specific actions to take if that disclosure comes from a child.

    We all bear the responsibility to end this violence. Let’s find our voice.

     

    Leah Howell
  • One Thing You Can Do That Matters

    One Thing You Can Do That Matters

    By Ginny Sagal, Communication & Outreach Coordinator for the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    You can’t read a newspaper or turn on a television without hearing about child sexual abuse.

    Do not feel helpless.

    There is one thing you can do that matters in addressing child sexual abuse.  You can take a child abuse prevention training through the Children’s Advocacy Center Protect Our Children Project.  

    When I read and hear these horrible stories, I think how wonderful it would be if all parents and caregivers knew how to recognize and respond to child sexual abuse.

    The Protect Our Children training guides you through 5 steps to protecting children from sexual abuse.

    The 5 Steps are:

    1. Learn the Facts: 1 in 10 children are sexually abused before the age of 18. Over 90% of them know their abuser. There is no more of this stranger danger thing. We need to go beyond that.
    2. Minimize the Opportunity: Decrease the risk of abuse by eliminating one on one situations.
    3. Talk About It: Have age appropriate, open conversations about our bodies, sex and boundaries. I think of the gymnast kids who were abused by their doctor or coach that the families had trusted.
    4. Recognize the signs: Why is this person giving gifts to my child? Why is this person always with the kids when he or she should be with the adults when we are at a party?
    5. React Responsibly: How you reacts matters. Go with your gut feeling!

    The Protect Our Children Project uses the Stewards of Children curriculum, developed by Darkness to Light.

    We believe that when adults take the class they recognized that it is all our responsibility to protect children.

    We believe that adults who take the class decrease the risk of the children in their life being sexually abused.

    The fact is that 99% of participants who take the training would recommend this training to a friend, family member or co-worker. (Study done by the University of Oregon Center for Prevention of Abuse and Neglect.)

    The Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County has partnered with The Ford Family Foundation to offer this training to anyone in Jackson County for FREE.

    Just think, in 2 to 3 short hours you can decrease the risk that a child in your life will be sexually abused. THAT IS BIG!!!

    Do one thing that Matters for the kids and teens in your life. Take a Protect our Children training.

    To register for a training for yourself or your group, business or organization go to: http://cacjc.org/services/prevention  or call Leah Howell, Protect Our Children Training Coordinator, at 541-734-5437 ext. 1013

    Ginny Sagal
  • Transformation: Why CAC Matters

    By Leah Howell, Jackson County Training Coordinator, PROTECT OUR CHILDREN Child Abuse Prevention Training

    My son just started preschool this year.  Two days per week, he gathers with 10 other 3 year-olds and follows a routine of play, circle time, and snack.

    Right now he and his classmates are learning about the life-cycle of the monarch butterfly, and subsequently, they were able to capture two caterpillars. Inside an aquarium, and with assistance from a branch tilted at just the right angle, those caterpillars each made a chrysalis.  What an amazing process this insect goes through – changing from one thing, to something so different!

    I wonder if there is something innate in the caterpillar that realizes someday he will not be confined to such a small area of the world, eating every minute of the day, trapped in a slow moving, defenseless body.  Do they know, somehow, that there is more in store for them? Or if, when he sees other monarch butterflies, does he innately “know” that is what he will become?

    Children come into this world totally dependent and defenseless too.

    I do not know if each child is born with an innate knowledge of their potential, but I do know that the beliefs about their own worth can be easily influenced by negative messages: “You’re a bad kid,” “You’re too emotional,” “You are an inconvenience,” and “You are nothing special.”

    These messages early and often have the power to keep a kid on the ground, metaphorically speaking, dragging wings that seem like nothing more than a nuisance.

    I love being part of the Children’s Advocacy Center – an organization that prioritizes protection, support and care of kids,…a place where the employees and volunteers speak worth and potential into kid’s lives all day, every day… a place that teaches kids how to start to use the amazing wings they’ve got, and then, through amazing transformations, kids learn to fly!

    Come be a part of these transformations!

    If you have time, kind words, energy, and love to give – call Ginny Sagal our Volunteer Coordinator: 541-282-5474 Ext. 113.