The Children's Advocacy Center of Jackson County

Tag: child sexual abuse

  • A Tale of Two Kids: Why CAC Matters

    A True Story by Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of The Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    I want to tell you a story today of a child. A child that I know.

    She is not a child that had the benefit of receiving services through the Children’s Advocacy Center (CAC).

    But she is why I believe in the CAC.

    I met her when she was six. I was 22 and a child protection investigator. She was the most beautiful blond-haired blue-eyed child I had ever seen. I wish that I could say that the day I met her was the day that her abuse stopped. But that is not the case. I wish that I could say that I was the first child protection worker that she met. I was not.

    When I interviewed her about her abuse — she was silent. She could talk. She had ten seconds earlier called me some very colorful names that I am sure she had heard some adult in her life use to describe my comrades, the previous workers who had paraded in and out of her house.

    I visited her at her elementary school. She had been interviewed at school before. She had been interviewed in her home. She had been interviewed at other schools by other workers. The police had interviewed her on scene several times while responding to calls of domestic violence.

    She never spoke.

    Reports flowed in on a monthly, sometimes weekly basis. Soon the school counselor bypassed the reporting line and called me directly. She stopped me in the grocery store on the weekends. She called my home number. She had no one else to call.

    This child, this beautiful little girl, was described as feral in some reports. She had behavioral issues. She was aggressive. She screamed. She was dirty. She smelled so bad that her classmates would not sit next to her. She constantly had bathroom accidents—either because she could not control it or did not want to control it. She “binged” in the cafeteria because she was starving.

    I spent hours pouring over records — alone in my office. Across town, there was a doctor who was concerned as well. We were trying to figure it out with only the pieces of the puzzle that we had in front of us.

    It took six months to find enough “evidence” that she was at risk and that she and her siblings should be placed in DHS custody. In time we came to learn that, in addition to the years of physical abuse and neglect, she had been sexually abused by multiple family members. The last time I saw this child, she was 10 years old. She was getting therapy. She was in a special foster home. She had had three psychiatric stays in one of the best treatment centers in the country. She had blown through too many foster homes to count.

    Her story is a long and sad one. I carry it around in my heart and there are few days that I do not think about her. Not one incident of abuse committed against her was prosecuted.

    I want to tell you of another child. He too is a child that I know.

    He did have the benefit of the CAC.

    He was four when I met him. I was . . well, a lot older than 22. I met him when he visited me at the CAC. He came to tell his story. He entered very scared — clinging to his mom’s leg. He went into what I call “the little room”, which is an interview room equipped with audio and video recording equipment. He was very shy at first, but as he answered the questions and became comfortable and safe, he very BOLDLY told his story of abuse.

    His mom received support from the Center staff. He only had to tell his story one time and then one more time in court. He got to meet the DHS case worker, the police officer, and a very nice nurse. He called them his “team”. He left the CAC smiling ear to ear.

    He sat at the table talking to me. I will never forget a conversation that he and I had while eating animal crackers at a table. He asked me “What is this place called?” I told him that it was the Children’s Advocacy Center. “It’s a place that kids can come and talk.”

    He told me proudly, “I talked!”

    He sat there smiling at me for a minute. He then looked very serious and told me that he did not talk when the lady came to school. I reassured him that was okay. He told me that it was too scary to talk at school.

    He was seen for a medical exam. He shared with me that his body was okay! He then got an angry look on his face, and said that Jim “lied to him.” Jim told him that his body was “broken”.

    This young man came to court with his suit and tie on. He testified and did a fantastic job. He was six. After court he unbuttoned his shirt to show me that he had a superman t-shirt on. His offender is in prison today with very little hope of ever getting out again.

    What a contrast in these two stories.

    I have seen proof that when we as professionals work together we have better outcomes for our families.

    I have seen proof that in communities where CACs exists there are better outcomes for children, families and the community itself.

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  • Birthday Wishes: Believe a Child or Not?

    By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    I have a birthday in April. I have no qualms about the number. I will be turning 47.

    26 of those years have been spent working in one role or another in the field of child abuse. Wow!

    That equates to more than half of my life spent responding to child abuse and trying to bring awareness to one of the most pervasive public health issues of modern times (or at least in my opinion.)

    The pendulum has swung from one end of the spectrum to the other and everywhere in between, as far as practice in securing safety and investigation of child abuse during my career. When I began, you were told to believe everything a child told you and then, later, it was to be suspicious of everything a child told you.

    Somewhere along the way, there were guidelines put in place for talking with children in a way that invited an open narrative, that minimized contamination of the information and was more trauma informed.

    There are still people who will never believe what a child tells them about abuse. If I had any advice for anyone trying to figure this out in their own life — it would be that it is better err on the side of keeping the child safe.

    Here are some things that I have learned along the way about figuring out next steps and what to believe, and because I think ranking is overvalued, they are not in any particular order:

    • In most cases, there are only two people in the world that can be 100% sure of exactly what happened in suspected child sexual abuse cases…the child and the perpetrator. These things do not generally happen with witnesses around. Child sexual abuse events generally do not generate C.S.I. type evidence.
    • Ask yourself what the child victim has to gain by making a false allegation. Usually the answer is — nothing but heartache. In my career I have spoken to literally thousands and thousands of children, some in a forensic interview and some out in the “field” on scene and otherwise, and what my experience has been is that most of the time if you asked a child what they wanted to happen to their offender (and by the way this is a BAD idea for a lot of different reasons) they generally would tell you they want the abuse to stop. They do not launch into a tirade about wanting him/her shot, hung, or otherwise dismembered. They do not spout off about wanting to ruin them. Many times child victims of all ages lose so much. They lose friends, family, and stability to name a few. And they gain anger, pain, blame, ridicule and shame many times.
    • On the flip side of the last one, what does the person accused have to gain by lying about what happened? If there is more than one person making an accusation, I generally go with the “where there is smoke, there is fire” line of thinking. This is particularly true when the children do not know each other or have no contact with each other. Believe it or not there are not groups of children plotting to ruin the adults in their lives.
    • NO MATTER what age, no matter what clothes they had on, no matter how “bad” they are, no matter what their grades are in school, the child did not ask for it. The adult is ALWAYS responsible for what happens between an adult and child. ALWAYS.
    • Offenders are not the scary people we do not know…they are people we like. They are people we love. They are people in our life. They are people who are respected. They are people we have previously deemed to be safe to be around our children. I know. I know. This one is enough to make us become paranoid and distrustful of every one.
    • Identifying and responding to physical abuse many times is easier for all of us. We see a child who has sustained injuries at the hands of an adult and we pretty much understand that should not happen. Although, I still occasionally run into people who feel like it is a parent’s “right” to do whatever they would like to their child. In fact, I have, in a few instances, had said parent yell that in my face.

    Most non-offending caregivers want to believe their child and want to believe the abuser because what does it say about their character to not believe their child? And WHAT does it say about their character if they allowed an offender into their child’s life. Those offenders are tricky and manipulative. You can do everything right and they still are able to slip into our lives. So what does it really say about them? Does it mean they are a terrible parent? I do not believe so. Does it mean they do not love their child? I do not believe so. Does it mean they are a horrible person? Nope. The really important thing is once they learn of the abuse, what is their response to their child? Do they do whatever needs to be done to keep them safe? Do they do whatever needs to be done to help their child begin healing? Do they engage in that healing process with them? We always hope so.

    When faced with having to make a decision on whether to believe a child or the accused offender, you should never base your decision on what the offender tells you.

    If there is an investigation (and there should be, because if a child tells you something, you should report it so that it can be fully investigated by professionals specially trained to do so, in order to get unbiased opinions and to secure the safety of your child) then talk to the professionals investigating, talk to people who work with offenders in a treatment process, talk to anyone involved who will talk to you. Listen to what they have to say. Listen to what their opinion is. Then carefully make a decision.

    But don’t make a decision out of fear…fear of not having money to pay the bills, fear of being alone, or fear of the unknown. Don’t make a decision that is based on the least painful path.

    Believing a child, keeping them safe, loving them, and giving them support does not sound painful, but it can be. But know that however painful it is for you, it is much more painful for that child. Children are very protective of the people they love. It is painful for them to hurt the non-offending people in their lives. They know that their words will change the world. They know their words can bring the walls in on top of them. They know their words will bring on a domino effect that cannot be reversed.

    My birthday wish this year is that if you are struggling with making a decision of whether to believe or not believe your child…..that you will reach out …..to someone who is unbiased, who has some experience in dealing with this issue, to help you.

    If you reach out to me, know that I will help you, but also know that I will make a report to either law enforcement or child protection. Your child’s health, happiness and future depends on my doing so.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • Male sexual abuse by a woman is not a rite of passage

    By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    I am saddened that in today’s world, with all the knowledge we have gained around child sexual assault, that we are still in a place where society blames the victim. Particularly if the victim is a teenaged boy and the perpetrator is a woman.

    Child sexual abuse is not a dirty joke.

    Child sexual abuse is not a rite of passage. Child sexual abuse is not someone’s private business. It is not a reason to give someone a “high five”. It is not something to celebrate.

    If you do not understand the impact of child sexual abuse on a child, I want to share some things that child sexual abuse victims face:

    • Drug and alcohol abuse
    • Suicidal thoughts and actions
    • Flashbacks/ Invasive thoughts
    • Nightmares /insomnia
    • Anger
    • Anxiety
    • Depression and mood swings
    • Mental health difficulties
    • Self-blame
    • Guilt/ Shame/ Humiliation
    • Fear/ Numbness
    • Sense of loss, helplessness, isolation and alienation
    • Low self–esteem, self-doubt, diminished self-belief
    • Difficulties with relationships and intimacy

    Male victims often need to add these to that list:

    • Pressure to “prove” their manhood
    • Confusion over gender and sexual identity
    • Sense of being inadequate as a man
    • Sense of lost power, control, and confidence in relation to manhood
    • Problems with closeness and intimacy
    • Sexual problems
    • Fear that the sexual abuse has caused or will cause him to become a homosexual or ‘gay’
    • Homophobia – fear or intolerance of any form of homosexuality.
    (The above information and more can be found at www.livingwell.org)

    So what on the list above deserves a “high five”? What on this list should be celebrated?

    I hear the comebacks in my head.

    • “But what 15 year old boy would not want to have sex with an attractive 30 year old woman?”
    • “There is no abuse …. he initiated it.”
    • Or my favorite (NOT) “I would have walked around with a smile on my face for a week if I had a teacher who was that attractive and wanted to have sex with me.”

    I cannot even begin to tell you how much more trauma, shame and anxiety those type of comments and thoughts put on a child sexual abuse victim.

    Let me try to enlighten you by telling you about offenders and offender behaviors … and yes, females can be sexual offenders. Offenders prey on vulnerable children. Those children who have low self-esteem. Those children that others deem liars. Those children who may have mental health issues or may just lack an attentive adult in their life. They prey on children who crave more attention, who need to find ways to feel better about themselves and children who are trusting of the adults in their lives. They prey on children who have vulnerabilities. Do not get me wrong. They will offend on children who do not meet the above criteria, but may not get away with it for very long.

    Look at your state laws to see what the age of consent is. In Oregon it is 18 years of age. That means that a child cannot consent to sexual intercourse while under the age of 18.

    Let me also tell you this. And this is the part you should pay special attention to. We sometimes forget. Children are not little adults. Even if they look like an adult. Even if they want to be treated like an adult. They are not little adults. And in any situation, no matter what the circumstance …. the adult is responsible for what happens between them and a child. The child is not responsible.

    I will figure that someone will be saying right about now that there are situations in which the reverse is true. I can hear the list of times that someone somewhere is rattling off where this is just simply not true. The problem with that kind of thinking is that it allows perpetrators to feel justified in their abuse of a child. The child asked for it. The child wanted it. The child started it.

    I don’t buy it. And if this were the case then there would be no child abuse. There would be no reason for laws to exist to protect these children. There is a reason there is an age of consent. There is a reason that there are policies and laws in place that say it is not okay for a teacher, a coach, a parent, a mentor, a therapist, a priest, or a boy scout leader to have sexual contact with a child.

    And the last time I checked it did not say “unless said adult was female”.

  • 707 Victims of Child Abuse in Jackson County

    By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    In preparation for April’s child abuse prevention and awareness activities, I have been looking at a lot of child abuse numbers . . . statistics etc. I do not believe that the numbers ever tell the full story.

    In Jackson County in 2013, there were 707 child victims of abuse or neglect. These are not the “grey void” cases. Grey void is what I call those cases that fall into the category of not good parenting decisions that do not rise to a level of founded abuse, but still have a negative impact on a child’s life. There are many cases that fall into that void.

    The Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County served 601 new child clients in 2014. (“New” is defined as first point of contact, but does not include clients receiving services that are continuing from the prior year.)

    But the question is — what does this really mean? What story do the numbers tell you? What do you see when you read those numbers?

    I will tell you what I see. I see sad small child faces. I see the children who go to school with my son. I see the children who sit with me in church. Those 707 live with me in this community.

    What do you hear?

    I will tell you what I hear. I hear silence. The kind of silence that speaks volumes. Most children do not report their abuse. Most depend on others to speak for them. Most depend on others to know what to look for and report on their behalf. Their silence screams HELP ME!

    There are more numbers: 44.7% of cases of abuse and neglect founded across the state were in families where substance abuse was an issue. The next highest stress factor across the state was domestic violence, followed by financial stress. I think these numbers speak for themselves, but do not tell the full story of what this means for kids.

    There is great debate across the county about what the numbers mean. Many will tell you the numbers of child abuse are decreasing. Others will tell you they are increasing. Some will cling to the decreasing numbers and tell you that “we” are doing something right. Others will tell you that the increasing numbers mean we need more in the trenches working on addressing the issue of child abuse. That debate becomes more political than I care to weigh-in on in this forum.

    What I do believe is that 707 children in my world is too high.

    What I know from experience, is that number will increase and decrease from year to year as we get better at identifying child abuse and as the community gets more skilled at reporting abuse to be investigated.

    What I know from experience is that if you, as a system, “look” for abuse you will find it. If you are not proactive in trying to remedy the problem, you will not see that the problem exists. If no one believes, then no one reports. If no one can provide protection and safety, then no one will seek it. Crazy how that works.

    I daily make a commitment to be vigilant on behalf of the children in my world. It is a struggle to balance that commitment sometimes with my family and during times when I grow weary that the issue is too big.

    My son, who is 6, and I have conversations that make it seem so simple. When he was three, and I had to work late, he wondered where I had been. He asked me why he had to stay with a sitter. I thought quickly of some lie I could tell him to save myself from the larger conversation. And, if I am honest, I only told him the truth because I was too tired to be creative. I told him that I was at work. He asked me what I did at work. I responded that there was a little girl that needed me to help her be safe.

    He then asked, “Why?” (Don’t you, as a parent, hate the whys?) So I sat down with him on my lap and said that sometimes adults hurt kids and there has to be someone to work to try to keep them safe and that was what my work was about. He looked at me and said, “Ok.” I saw clarity in his eyes beyond his then three years. I was sure he did not understand.

    He continued the conversation and asked would I keep his friends safe if they needed me. I said. “Of course.” Thinking at that point that the conversation was over, I started to move on and he grabbed my hand and looked me in the eye and asked again. Only this time, he began to name his preschool class mates off one by one. Each time I responded, “Yes, of course I would do everything I could to keep them safe.” He wasn’t asking me as a “forensic interviewer” or “advocate”. He was asking me as a “mom”.

    707 children in your world is too high. Don’t you agree?

    The question that lingers is not CAN you help them, but rather — WILL you help them?

    Many will read this and say that they cannot help. I challenge you that you CAN in the following ways:

    • Call the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County and sign up for a child sex abuse prevention class.

    • Learn the signs of child abuse.

    • Be vigilant. When you see something that makes you feel like a child is unsafe, make a report to the Department of Human Services or to law enforcement. If you don’t want to do it alone, then call me at the Center and I will help you.

    • When a child tells you he/she has been hurt by an adult, do not blame the child or dismiss it. Let someone figure out if that child is safe.

    • Do not discount the impact on a child that witnessing domestic violence has. If you suspect that a child is living in a home where domestic violence is occurring, then make a report.

    Want to do more than that? Make a donation to the Children’s Advocacy Center to support our prevention program, or to support direct services. Want to do more than even that? Call the Center and become a volunteer. We need you.

    Will you help the child in your child’s class?

    Will you help the child that sits next to you in church?

    Will you help the child you see riding her bike on your street?

    How many is too many for you? What is your bottom line?

     

     

  • Stephen Collins: Why did no one make a report?

    By Tammi Pitzen, Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    This morning started as most any other morning. I got to the office early before anyone was here. I went up to my office. Checked email. Checked voice mail.

    Everything was going well until I checked Facebook.

    Circulating was a story on Stephen Collins. It was about how he confessed in therapy to his wife about exposing himself to young girls and making one of them touch his penis. There was a recording attached. I usually don’t watch the videos or listen to the recordings attached to news stories, but for some reason, I was needing verification that this was indeed what was happening in the session.

    It is a male confessing to sexually abusing a child and exposing himself to young girls. Both are abusive. I just want to accurately describe what it is he is confessing. I am disturbed deeply by this revelation. This was taped in 2012 by his wife in a therapy session. It sounds like Stephen Collins.

    I am shocked. I am disturbed. I am saddened. I hope that I have it all wrong. I hope that there will be more reported on this story. I am all these things not because I cannot believe that a Hollywood star who played a minister could ever do such things. I am all these things because it appears, at least at this point, that there was a recording of these confessions that was made in 2012 and it appears that nothing has been done about it.

    It appears that no one made a report.

    There are assertions that the police have an open case now. But it would appear that it is a relatively new report, as one new site states that the detectives from the special victims unit were flying from New York to Los Angeles to interview him. I am so hopeful that I have this wrong. I am hopeful that this is a re-interview of the “suspect”. That this case was reported in 2012 and some how got stalled out. I am so hopeful that someone stood up on behalf of these children and made a report. Let these children know that they matter, and that what happened to them matters — more than Stephen Collins’ fame.

    I have continued today to research out this story. His wife of 27 years is divorcing him. This tape came about as a result of therapy, in what I assume was an attempt to save that marriage. I just read this is not the first time Collins has been accused. His ex wife apparently made a report in 2012 on behalf of one of the victims, but nothing ever materialized as a result of that report. He was accused several years ago, but no charges came about as the statue of limitations had run.

    What do we know about sex offenders?

    Well, we know they hide right out in the public view. We know they “groom” children and also “groom” their community.

    We know that they become who we want to believe they are. Stephen Collins is probably best known from his role in 7th Heaven, where he played a minister.

    We know that they insert themselves in situations where they will have unquestioned access to vulnerable children. I wonder if any of the children who ever worked around him will be coming forward next.

    I have no problem believing that Stephen Collins did this. It fits the classic stereo type that I see played over and over again in everyday life.

    I am having trouble believing that no one reported.

    I am having a problem believing that no one cared enough in 2012 to make a report. I am having trouble believing that the only reason this tape was leaked was as a result of a nasty long divorce battle.

    I am hoping I am wrong. I am hoping that tomorrow when I go through my morning routine, I will find that there was one person who made a report. I am hoping that the therapist made a report. I am hoping to pick up a newspaper or catch a news story on E.T., or some other entertainment news site, that will tell me the rest of the story—the part where there was someone who was willing to stand up not only on behalf of these children, but really any and all children who may have crossed the path of Mr. Stephen Collins.

    It is TIME that we stop giving sex offenders ALL the power.

    It is TIME to stop expecting that children will protect themselves.

    It is TIME we all recognize that the safety of our children is our responsibility.

    It is TIME to recognize that one of the greatest talents of a sex offender is to minimize what he has done and the damage that it has caused. In this case it went from exposing to touching and I would suspect further than that.

    The only ones that can do anything to put a stop to the abuse of our children is really us!

    If you suspect it…..REPORT IT!!!!!

  • Judge’s words hurt victims

    By Tammi Pitzen, Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

     

    I recently read about a judge in Montana being censored for some statements he made while handing out a sentence to a sex offender. This case has been so disturbing to me. Judge Baugh sent Rambold to prison for 31 days last year after he pleaded guilty to sexual intercourse without consent.

    Rambold was a 47 year-old business teacher at Billings Senior High School at the time of the 2007 rape. The victim was one of his students. She committed suicide while the case was pending trial.

    Baugh said during Rambold’s sentencing in August that the teenager was “probably as much in control of the situation as the defendant” and that she “appeared older than her chronological age.”

    I have actually been thinking about this case a lot lately. But not in connection to the heinous crime that was committed by Rambold, the teacher. More in connection with the heinous acts by Judge Baugh.

    Remember the old adage that went something like — “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me”?

    Judge Baugh’s words hurt.

    They hurt many victims who will remain silent because of hearing how this victim was blamed by someone in authority. His words hurt the parents of this child who are already grieving. His words hurt the many people who work to protect children in our world. His words hurt in a way that he can not imagine, because if he could imagine, he would have never uttered any of them.

    According to the article he will be allowed to retire. This might muddy his name for a short time, but really in essence, will have no impact on his life at all.

    When we chose to take the career path that goes along the “high road”, we chose to have our words mean something.

    Judge Baugh chose this higher road. His words meant something. They meant something to a lot of people when he said the victim “appeared older than her chronological age”.  They meant something to a lot of people when the Judge decided that a victim is in as much control of a situation as a sex offender. They meant the most to victims of child sexual abuse. They meant a lot to offenders of child sexual abuse.

    This young victim killed herself. She committed suicide. Her sexual abuse equated to a death sentence for her.

    Thirty one days for sex offender Rambold. His sentence was all suspended except for 31 days.

    Thankfully, there is a part two to this story.

    Other people used their words to make things right. The State appealed the sentencing. The Supreme Court in Montana was looking at what they can do to make a statement. They were considering censoring the Judge.

    The Judge plans on retiring. I doubt whatever “punishment” is handed down to this judge will have an impact on his life. After the public outrage, he apologized to the family.

    Funny thing about words. It turns out they can hurt. They can’t be taken back. Sometimes the pain caused by words can outlast the pain from a broken bone.

    I am making a choice today.

    I will choose my words carefully. I will make my words mean something.

    I will think every day about how my words might have helped a 14 year old sexually abused by their teacher or sexually abused by anyone.

    What will you do?

  • What about the throw away child?

    By Tammi Pitzen, Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    Recently I spent time learning about child sex trafficking in the United States. Sex trafficking is the most common form of modern-day slavery.

    Estimates place the number of  domestic and international sex trafficking victims in the millions.

    Most of the victims of sex trafficking are females and children. It is the fastest growing business of organized crime, and the third-largest criminal enterprise in the world.

    It is a complicated issue. It is an issue that we are not, as a country, prepared to recognize as a problem. We rest easier at night thinking that it happens in other countries or third world countries.

    In early June I sat in a plenary session at a national leadership conference in Washington DC and was surprised to learn that Portland Oregon has one of the highest populations of child sex trafficking victims in the country. Right here in my own backyard! I also learned that a very high number of these child sex trafficking victims are coming out of the foster care system as run aways, aging out of the foster care system, or connected to the foster care system in some other way. When I heard that, I have to say, my heart filled with sorrow.

    I learned that many of these young victims are forced to have sex with multiple partners in a day — making upwards of $1500 dollars a day — but go to sleep hungry because they are not allowed to keep any of the money.

    I have spent many hours sitting and listening to how big a problem child sex trafficking is. I have heard these victims referred to as invisible victims. And I have learned that they are invisible only because we refuse to see them.

    These children, many times, are on the streets for years. Missed by no one. Never searched for. For all intents and purposes — thrown away.

    We may refer to them as child prostitutes, but there is no such thing as a child prostitute.

    Children cannot consent legally to any sexual contact. They are not complicit in their own abuse.

    Many groups have begun to tackle this problem, but I am afraid we are not equipped to meet these young victims where they are. We need to adjust our traditional interventions to meet their needs in a better way.

    I am the first to admit that I don’t know what the answer is, but I am hopeful that the answer is out there waiting to be discovered.

    You may be asking what you can do now to help. My answer is simple: Do not close your eyes.

    • If you see a child living on the street — make a report to your local authorities.
    • If a child in your life runs away, please report it to the authorities.
    • Educate yourself on the scope of the problem. Become part of the solution.
    • Do not excuse the adult perpetrators of these crimes by blaming the child or by calling this a victimless crime.
    • Remember this no matter what: A child is a child and an adult is an adult. The adult is always responsible for anything that is between the adult and a child.
    • Let your legislators know that this issue is important and deserves to be part of our work to protect children.
    • If you see or hear of children being abused in their home — report it. Most child sex trafficking victims become run aways because they are running from something and sometimes that something is abuse in their home.

    Do not “throw away” these children. If you do, someone will “rescue” them, and it may not be someone who has pure intentions doing the rescuing.

  • Viewing child pornography: A victimless crime?

    By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    One of my recent blog posts focused on the idea that viewing child pornography is not a victimless crime. I decided to add a part two because further explanation seemed to be needed.

    I think we can all agree that taking pictures of children for sexual pleasure is against the law, even if you do not agree that viewing them is morally wrong. I think we can also all agree that using children for any part of your sexual gratification is against the law.

    These are not victimless crimes.

    There is a child who can tell the story of how these events impacted their lives. Children are unable to consent to sexual pictures being taken of them. They cannot consent to these images being shared, sold or swapped with other people who view similar pictures.

    Any time an adult uses a child for sexual gratification it is abusive. Child exploitation is not a victimless crime.

    I recently saw an article that depicted these children as the forgotten victims. Why are they forgotten? And why do people have such a hard time seeing they are victimized by those who view the pictures?

    One theory is that technology makes it easy for us to forget that these are real children. A person can feel far removed from reality when surfing the internet.

    Do not be fooled into thinking these pictures do not demoralize and harm the children in them.

    Child sexual abuse usually involves someone manipulating, coercing, or tricking a child into being confused about appropriate boundaries and what types of touch are appropriate; about what is “right” and what is “wrong”.  And in my opinion, when someone says that viewing pornographic pictures does not harm a child, it is one more manipulation to give them permission to continue on in their abuse of children.

    Would you feel violated if someone took a picture of you, without clothes on, doing something you had no control over and then shared that picture with thousands of people who you may or may not know? Would you constantly worry about whether people you come in contact with on a daily basis had seen that picture?

    Would you worry about whether your grandmother would see that picture?

    Would you wonder if the person interviewing you for a great job had seen that picture?

    Would you wonder how you would tell the person you fell in love with that these pictures are forever floating around the internet?

    Would the thought of these pictures being out there cripple your functioning in your day to day life?

    Would you be able to sleep?

    These sound like signs of trauma to me. Is it really a victimless crime?

     

     

  • The shocking facts about child pornography

    The shocking facts about child pornography

    By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center

    When most people think about child sexual abuse, they think of those children in which an adult has touched a child in an inappropriate way. But there are also non-touching forms of sexual abuse.

    In the age of fast moving technology, there are new victims who can be vulnerable to re-victimization over and over for the rest of their lives.

    These are the children exploited by their perpetrator taking pornographic pictures of them and circulating them through the internet. There is no way to know exactly how many offenders these victims have. Many times these children are not aware that pictures of their abuse are being taken. There are thousands of pictures of unidentified children.

    And technically every time someone views a pornographic picture of a child, it is abusive.

    How much of a problem is it really? Here it is by the numbers:

    12%

    25%

    28,000

    75 Million

    43%

    75%

    81%

    266

    3,000

    1 in 7

    11

    7 in 10

    1,536

    58%

    48%

    34% compared to 15% of teenage boys

    $89

    $13 Billion

    $97 Billion

    (Sources: WashingtonTimes, CNBC, Good, ThePinkCross.org, MSNBC, Enough.org, NationalCoal)

    How much of a problem do YOU think it really is?

    Are your children on the internet? Have they ever been solicited sexually while online?

    Have you asked them?

    Share This Story

  • 7 things I learned while dreaming of Hollywood

    Gala8FB
    CAC Executive Director, Tammi Pitzen, “on stage” at the 2014 Winter Fundraising Gala

    By Tammi Pitzen

    As a young child I always dreamed that I would do something great with my life. Not the “you do good work kind of thing”, but the grandiose Hollywood kind of thing. I was never sure what that would be — but was certain that it would happen.

    When I hit my forties, I began to re-evaluate whether I was going to do any great thing. I began playing back in my mind the events that impacted me the most and really looking to see if I could recreate those moments and turn them into the big grandiose thing.

    Here is what I learned:

    1)   First and foremost, grandiose things are over rated. They tend to come big, but fade quickly. I decided that I wanted my “big thing” to come in small unnoticed steps that linger for a life time.

    2)  We really can accomplish so much more when we work together, than when we try to go it alone. This is true in every situation that I can think of. In fact, I can not think of one exception.

    3)  Every single day you should dance like there is no one watching. Seriously. I learned this from watching my five year old son. He is happiest when he is dancing. And soon I find myself wanting to dance with him and then, no matter what mood I started with, I always end up happy. When I look around, everyone within eyesight is also happy and laughing.

    4)  You should not worry about a legacy.  Worry about what you are doing right now. What you do now is what matters. What are you doing now that matters?

    5)  Terrible awful things happen to the best people. It really isn’t about what is fair or what is right. It is about what you do next. Do you choose to stay exactly where the terrible awful thing left you or do you choose to rise above and beyond?

    6)  It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help. It is a sign that you are human. It really goes back to what we can accomplish together versus what we can do alone.

    7)  Never underestimate the small act of kindness and the impact that it can have on a person.

    So many people will read this and think that I have let go of my childhood dream of doing something grandiose. I may never make it to Hollywood. However, I am doing “BIG” things.

    I work quietly and sometimes loudly on behalf of small, vulnerable people.

    What kind of world would we live in if every person’s “Big” thing was taking care of children?

    Many people will read this and I think, “I can’t do that. I can’t see what you see.”  The truth of the matter is that everyone is seeing it. The trick is to recognize what you are seeing. Reference the above list and look at point number two. And I ask again, “What kind of world would we live in, if every person’s “big” thing was to act on behalf of child abuse victims.”

    What if we all worked to give a “BIG” voice to those who are unheard?

     

     

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