Tag: Allegations of Child Maltreatment

  • A Tale of Two Kids: Why CAC Matters

    A True Story by Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of The Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    I want to tell you a story today of a child. A child that I know.

    She is not a child that had the benefit of receiving services through the Children’s Advocacy Center (CAC).

    But she is why I believe in the CAC.

    I met her when she was six. I was 22 and a child protection investigator. She was the most beautiful blond-haired blue-eyed child I had ever seen. I wish that I could say that the day I met her was the day that her abuse stopped. But that is not the case. I wish that I could say that I was the first child protection worker that she met. I was not.

    When I interviewed her about her abuse — she was silent. She could talk. She had ten seconds earlier called me some very colorful names that I am sure she had heard some adult in her life use to describe my comrades, the previous workers who had paraded in and out of her house.

    I visited her at her elementary school. She had been interviewed at school before. She had been interviewed in her home. She had been interviewed at other schools by other workers. The police had interviewed her on scene several times while responding to calls of domestic violence.

    She never spoke.

    Reports flowed in on a monthly, sometimes weekly basis. Soon the school counselor bypassed the reporting line and called me directly. She stopped me in the grocery store on the weekends. She called my home number. She had no one else to call.

    This child, this beautiful little girl, was described as feral in some reports. She had behavioral issues. She was aggressive. She screamed. She was dirty. She smelled so bad that her classmates would not sit next to her. She constantly had bathroom accidents—either because she could not control it or did not want to control it. She “binged” in the cafeteria because she was starving.

    I spent hours pouring over records — alone in my office. Across town, there was a doctor who was concerned as well. We were trying to figure it out with only the pieces of the puzzle that we had in front of us.

    It took six months to find enough “evidence” that she was at risk and that she and her siblings should be placed in DHS custody. In time we came to learn that, in addition to the years of physical abuse and neglect, she had been sexually abused by multiple family members. The last time I saw this child, she was 10 years old. She was getting therapy. She was in a special foster home. She had had three psychiatric stays in one of the best treatment centers in the country. She had blown through too many foster homes to count.

    Her story is a long and sad one. I carry it around in my heart and there are few days that I do not think about her. Not one incident of abuse committed against her was prosecuted.

    I want to tell you of another child. He too is a child that I know.

    He did have the benefit of the CAC.

    He was four when I met him. I was . . well, a lot older than 22. I met him when he visited me at the CAC. He came to tell his story. He entered very scared — clinging to his mom’s leg. He went into what I call “the little room”, which is an interview room equipped with audio and video recording equipment. He was very shy at first, but as he answered the questions and became comfortable and safe, he very BOLDLY told his story of abuse.

    His mom received support from the Center staff. He only had to tell his story one time and then one more time in court. He got to meet the DHS case worker, the police officer, and a very nice nurse. He called them his “team”. He left the CAC smiling ear to ear.

    He sat at the table talking to me. I will never forget a conversation that he and I had while eating animal crackers at a table. He asked me “What is this place called?” I told him that it was the Children’s Advocacy Center. “It’s a place that kids can come and talk.”

    He told me proudly, “I talked!”

    He sat there smiling at me for a minute. He then looked very serious and told me that he did not talk when the lady came to school. I reassured him that was okay. He told me that it was too scary to talk at school.

    He was seen for a medical exam. He shared with me that his body was okay! He then got an angry look on his face, and said that Jim “lied to him.” Jim told him that his body was “broken”.

    This young man came to court with his suit and tie on. He testified and did a fantastic job. He was six. After court he unbuttoned his shirt to show me that he had a superman t-shirt on. His offender is in prison today with very little hope of ever getting out again.

    What a contrast in these two stories.

    I have seen proof that when we as professionals work together we have better outcomes for our families.

    I have seen proof that in communities where CACs exists there are better outcomes for children, families and the community itself.

  • Adrian Peterson: Child Abuse or Discipline?

    By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    This week the big news was that Adrian Peterson, a member of the Minnesota Vikings, was charged with child abuse for spanking his child with a “switch” and leaving bruising. 

    The topic of debate has been: Is this abuse or is this discipline? And secondary: Is this a part of Southern parenting culture?

    You knew that I would have to weigh in on this — being both a true Southerner, who now has a child, and being an avid football fan, who is married to an avid Vikings fan.

    I was born and raised in the South and my parents used spanking as a discipline method.  I also began my career in child protection investigating child abuse reports in a small town in Louisiana. I will tell you that it is true that in the South parents will “spank” their children with whatever is handy.  I have talked with parents who use electrical extension cords, doubled belts, wooden spoons, switches, boards, ping pong paddles, rulers, wire coat hangers, dog leashes, hair brushes and, not as frequently but sometimes, their hands, in the disciplining of their children.

    Based on years of investigative experience, I will tell you that it is very hard to use an object to hit a child and not leave marks.

    It is hard to judge how hard you are actually hitting. It is hard to gauge how angry you are. It is hard to control the adrenaline that will begin to pump through your body as you exert yourself in the disciplining of a child, using these methods.

    Most parents are disciplining their children because they love them. They are not intending to hurt their child.

    Imagine how hard it is for a child to understand that — when they are being hit with an object.

    Southern parents have been known to say, “This is hurting me more than it is hurting you”, while spanking their child. I can say that is sometimes hard to believe and really hard to understand if you are five.

    Oregon law defines physical abuse as an injury to a child that is not accidental.

    Many will read this and think that I am advocating against spanking. I am advocating against spanking that becomes abusive.

    Discipline is a parenting decision and should be made by parent. However, it is abusive to leave marks on your child either unintentionally or intentionally. It is a fact that it is hard to spank with an object and not leave marks.

    I have spoken to literally thousands of children who have been hit with objects. They do not learn to be disciplined. They learn to fear their parents. They learn to be angry. Violence breeds violence.

    In recent weeks we have heard news stories involving National Football League players abusing their girlfriends, abusing their children and, in the past, we have heard about them abusing animals.

    I believe that the NFL has a unique opportunity to change our world in an unimaginable, pie in the sky kind of way.

    • They can follow Chris Carter’s (retired Vikings football player) lead and send a message about abuse. If you have not seen his passionate emotional response to this story: Watch It Now.
    • They can say we will have zero tolerance regarding abuse of another person or animal by an NFL player.
    • They can send a message to every little boy who watches these players in awe every week — dreaming that they can become “just like them”.
    • The NFL can send a message to every child that they matter and they have the right to not be abused.
    • The NFL can send a message to every boy that it is not heroic to hit women.

    I am watching anxiously to see what will come of this.

    I am watching anxiously to see if this will be the game changer that our children need.