The Children's Advocacy Center of Jackson County

Tag: 5 Steps to Protect Our Children

  • 10 ways to keep children safe from abuse this holiday season

     

    By Betsy Lewis, Social Media Contractor for the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    The holidays are coming, and families and friends will be gathering together to celebrate.

    Unfortunately, the holiday season is also the time of year when all types of child abuse increase.

    And it is those we know, these very family members and friends, who are the ones most likely to abuse our children.

    Here are some startling facts:

    ·        90% of children are abused by someone they know.

    ·        80% of sexual abuse occurs in one child – one adult situations.

    ·        30% of all child sexual abuse is perpetrated by other youth.

    Put these facts together with the hectic holiday season, where adults and children are thrown together, regular schedules are in flux, parents are often stressed and distracted, and you can see why kids are at greater risk this time of year.

    How can you protect your children? Darkness to Light/Stewards of Children, the curriculum we use in our Protect Our Children Trainings, calls it “Minimize Opportunity”

    Here are suggestions for your holiday season that will minimize the opportunities for abuse:

    1.      Choose group situations and have multiple adults supervise children.

    2.      Scan the physical environment for hidden areas and correct dangers.

    3.      Make sure interactions are observed and interrupted.

    4.      Remember older youth should not be in isolated, one-on-one situations with younger children.

    5.      Talk to kids about body boundaries (immediately, frequently and all year long.) Tell them they do not have to give or receive hugs, kisses, or other affection. Tell them to talk to you if anyone crosses their body boundaries. If your child tells you that he doesn’t want to be around a particular person or participate in a particular outing, take her or him seriously.

    6.      Avoid one child – one adult situations. If you do have to leave your child alone with someone, make it “observable and interruptible.” Let the adult know that you could return at any time, that you and your child are educated about child sexual abuse and that you have taught your child to tell you if there are body boundary violations.

    7.      Have a household open door policy – no interior doors are to be shut.

    8.      Make sure all outings, games and activities are observable by you or others.

    9.      Make any interactions with older children observable by multiple adults.

    10.   Be aware of “roughhousing.” Know that tickling, poking the stomach, patting the butt or knees, rubbing shoulders, can all be part of the grooming process.

    This is a hard truth and can be difficult to hear and accept: You cannot trust anyone 100% and no one is exempt, not even the closest, most beloved family members.

    Additionally, be sure to manage your own stress level and drug and alcohol use so you can be alert and aware. Most importantly, go with your instincts. Pay attention and take the necessary steps to correct any dangers if anything bothers you about someone who spends time with your child.

    The best way to keep the holidays a beautiful and magical experience and memory is to take good care of you and yours. You matter!

     

    Betsy Lewis

     

  • Back to School for ALL the Family

    By Ginny Sagal

    September is here and school has started for many kids and teens in our area.

    For some it will be the first time that you will be leaving your child with another adult. For some it might be a new school, new teachers or new sports coach.

    As your children start the new school year learning and exploring — you as the adult can learn too.

    Learn how to protect your child from sexual abuse.

    Learn the Facts

    1 in 10 children are sexually abused before age 18. Over 90% of them know their abuser.

    Minimize Opportunity

    Decrease the risk of abuse by eliminating or reducing isolated one-on-one situations.

    Talk About It

    Have age appropriate, open conversations about our bodies, sex and boundaries.

    Recognize the Signs

    Signs of abuse aren’t always obvious. They are there, but you have to know what to look for.

    React Responsibly

    How you react matters. Understand how to react to risky behavior, boundary violations, or suspicions, and when to make a report. 

    The Protect our Children Program teaches you all of this!

    Take 2 ½ hours of your time to protect the children in your lives. This is a free training given at the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County once a month from 5:30 -8pm. Upcoming trainings at the CACJC are offered September 18th and October 16th. You can sign up here: http://cacjc.org/trainings

     

     

  • My Spin: Oregon’s Top Rank Registered Sex Offenders

    By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    School has started back.  At my house we are shifting back to “normal” schedule.  You know—the regular routine.  6:30 wake up.  7:12 out the door for school and work.  6:00 get home.  6:15 start our reading homework.  6:45 do the rest of our homework.  7:15 piano practice.  7:45 shower.  8:30 bedtime.  Oops.  I forgot dinner.  We do eat in there somewhere, but the schedule is tight.  We try to find some balance.  We try to concentrate our family time on the weekend and build as many memories as possible.  It is easy to go on auto pilot.  To forget to have actual conversations.  To forget to check in with each other.  The frenzy of the holidays is right around the corner.  It will get more hectic.

    This week, we have read about Oregon being number one in the country in the number of registered sex offenders.  There has been lots of chatter about what this means and why this is.  I don’t know why.  Do we make more people register than others?  Are we more proactive at looking for sex offenders?  There are many spins that you could put on this. 

    Here is my spin.  This is a good reminder to make time to talk to your children about their bodies and how to keep them safe.  This is a good reminder to stay involved and present in your child’s life regardless of their age.

    The truth is there are a lot of sex offenders EVERYWHERE.  I don’t say that to make you paranoid.  I say that to make you aware.

    I started having these body conversations with my own child when he was 2 years old.  He learned the correct term for his “boy” parts.  I never have to guess if he is talking about his penis, his tummy, his bottom or his toe.  While the cutesy names make it easier for the adults to say, it definitely makes it harder for anyone else to know what exactly your child is talking about.  In an interview to figure out if he or she has been abused, this small thing is crucial.

    I read a book to my child every once in a while about body safety and telling.  He loved that book.  It was named “Gorp’s Secret”.  It was a very child friendly way to open up the conversation.  Better yet, my child learned early who was allowed to touch what body parts under what circumstances.  It was a book that was in the story time rotation.  Just like all his other books.  Sat on the shelf just like his other books waiting for his little fingers to pick it out for his dad or me to read to him.  Normal. 

    My child’s pediatrician has the same talk with him during his annual check-up.  It does not weird him out.  It is a conversation that is part of their normal interactions during his exam.  Just like checking in about bike helmets, seat belts, and what kinds of veggies he is eating.

    Contrary to what many people might think because of my career, I do not talk to my son about these things very frequently.  When an opportunity presents itself I don’t shy away from it but I don’t bring it up.  I don’t have to.  We have been having these “little talks” since he was a baby.  He knows.

    The older your child gets, the more uncomfortable it is to start these conversations, but if they have been a part of your interactions all along they are a little easier.  It is a way of propping the door open, if you will.  Paving the way for your child to come to you if they ever need to.

    Still not sure what to be vigilant about or worried you won’t recognize when your child may need you but unable to tell you exactly they need you? 

    Please sign up to take our free Stewards of Children training under the CAC Protect Our Children program.  We hold them frequently.  Go to our website and sign up.  This class will teach you how to recognize and respond to child sexual abuse using five simple steps.  It is free.  It takes less than 3 hours.  

    It will give you tools to reduce the risk of sexual abuse to the children in your life.  Isn’t that worth your time?

    #BackToSchoolCAC

     

     

  • One Thing You Can Do That Matters

    One Thing You Can Do That Matters

    By Ginny Sagal, Communication & Outreach Coordinator for the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    You can’t read a newspaper or turn on a television without hearing about child sexual abuse.

    Do not feel helpless.

    There is one thing you can do that matters in addressing child sexual abuse.  You can take a child abuse prevention training through the Children’s Advocacy Center Protect Our Children Project.  

    When I read and hear these horrible stories, I think how wonderful it would be if all parents and caregivers knew how to recognize and respond to child sexual abuse.

    The Protect Our Children training guides you through 5 steps to protecting children from sexual abuse.

    The 5 Steps are:

    1. Learn the Facts: 1 in 10 children are sexually abused before the age of 18. Over 90% of them know their abuser. There is no more of this stranger danger thing. We need to go beyond that.
    2. Minimize the Opportunity: Decrease the risk of abuse by eliminating one on one situations.
    3. Talk About It: Have age appropriate, open conversations about our bodies, sex and boundaries. I think of the gymnast kids who were abused by their doctor or coach that the families had trusted.
    4. Recognize the signs: Why is this person giving gifts to my child? Why is this person always with the kids when he or she should be with the adults when we are at a party?
    5. React Responsibly: How you reacts matters. Go with your gut feeling!

    The Protect Our Children Project uses the Stewards of Children curriculum, developed by Darkness to Light.

    We believe that when adults take the class they recognized that it is all our responsibility to protect children.

    We believe that adults who take the class decrease the risk of the children in their life being sexually abused.

    The fact is that 99% of participants who take the training would recommend this training to a friend, family member or co-worker. (Study done by the University of Oregon Center for Prevention of Abuse and Neglect.)

    The Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County has partnered with The Ford Family Foundation to offer this training to anyone in Jackson County for FREE.

    Just think, in 2 to 3 short hours you can decrease the risk that a child in your life will be sexually abused. THAT IS BIG!!!

    Do one thing that Matters for the kids and teens in your life. Take a Protect our Children training.

    To register for a training for yourself or your group, business or organization go to: http://cacjc.org/services/prevention  or call Leah Howell, Protect Our Children Training Coordinator, at 541-734-5437 ext. 1013

    Ginny Sagal