By Leah Howell, Training Coordinator for the Protect Our Children Project of the Children’s Advocacy Center

I’m not much of a country music fan, though I lived 30 minutes from Nashville throughout my college years, and for sometime afterward. Even now, 20 years later, I will read about a country musician, that will bring me back to my life there. The Ryman Auditorium always catches my attention.  An old, beautiful, former church-turned performance hall.  I’ll admit, I’ve only stepped into the Ryman one time. If my memory serves, I only got as far as the entryway.  I still have regrets about not going to see some of the great performers that have graced its stage. But recently my attention was caught for a totally different reason. 

Once again, a famous person broke his silence.

“You come up here and get to sing one song, and you go, what the hell you gonna sing?” said (Vince) Gill, 60,… “I think that the greatest way to live is to welcome the moment that you’re in and the time frame that you’re in. I chose this song that I wrote some years ago, and never really knew where the song came from, other than… We’re living in a time right now when finally people are having the courage to kind of speak out about being abused. And I think that is beyond healthy, and beyond beautiful, to see people finally have a voice for being wronged. And maybe this song came from a personal experience for me.

I was in seventh grade, and a young, dumb kid,” he continued. “And I had a gym teacher that acted inappropriately towards me and was trying to do things that I didn’t know what the hell was going on. And I was just fortunate that I got up and I ran. I just jumped up and I ran. I don’t know why. And I don’t think I ever told anybody my whole life. But maybe what’s been going on has given me a little bit of courage to speak out, too. I’m going to sing you this song that was inspired by all the people that are…” He let the thought trail off as he began picking out the introductory licks, but the cultural moment didn’t require much elaboration. (Variety, Feb 9th, 2018)

It takes a lot of courage to be on stage and share something so traumatic with an auditorium full of people. It causes me to  think about the bravery of so many men and women in Hollywood and beyond who recently came forward, having been violated, intimidated and physically threatened by those in power.  I feel my heart ache to think of all of the young gymnasts who suffered in silence (and some who weren’t silent) in the hands of a “well-respected” physician. I think of all of the women who endured being drugged and raped only to watch a comedian and sitcom actor become rich and famous as a “decent family man.” 

I think of all the men and women and boys and girls who see these stories, and wish they had the courage to tell. 

Because of the prevalence of these experiences, we know there are many, many people suffering with corrosive secrets.  Secrets they may be afraid to tell for fear they hear an echo of those words swimming in their head – the words that tell them it was their fault. Blaming is language innocent victims know too well.

Many of you reading this post have never personally dealt with these issues, and may feel ill-equipped to handle discussions and disclosures with such deeply personal implications.  But I would encourage you to consider changing your approach. Instead of using the usual tactics of shutting down the conversation or avoiding it altogether, take steps to become more comfortable and open. For starters, attend one of our Protect our Children-Stewards of Children training sessions. It will increase your comfort level, give you some tools to use as you participate in discussions, teach you how to respond to disclosures of abuse, and outline what specific actions to take if that disclosure comes from a child.

We all bear the responsibility to end this violence. Let’s find our voice.