The Children's Advocacy Center of Jackson County

Category: Trainings

  • Does child abuse happen in our state? In Jackson County?

    By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    April is child abuse prevention/awareness month.  This is my traditional April Blog recognizing and focusing on the problem of child abuse.

    I was doing a little research to see what was going on in the world of child abuse.  I found a page on the internet that is nothing but stories of child abuse.  They are all true.  They are all recent.  They are all heartbreaking.

    One tells of a child whose father found out she was having sex and so, as punishment, forced her to become a prostitute at a truck stop.  There are stories of child fatalities; there are stories of parents beating their children.  It is quite disturbing.  It is a true crime website.  I was simply looking for some compelling story to blog about and found a whole site.  All from 2017.

    Some will say that those horrible things do not happen in Oregon.  Those things happen in other countries or other parts of this country. Sadly, this is not accurate.

    There were 964 children abused in Jackson County in 2016.  In the state of Oregon, there were 27 child abuse fatalities.  21 of those were perpetrated by a parent or parent figure.  All 27 of the children who died knew their abuser.  We call it child abuse fatalities, and as awful as that sounds, it does not sound as awful as murder.  We look for words that are softer to describe these heinous acts.

    Child abuse happens in Oregon.  Child abuse happens in Jackson County. 

    The foster parent shortage that has been reported on is not just in other parts of the state.  It is here in our county as well.

    This is not someone else’s problem.  It is ours. The problem has been long established.  What isn’t as clear, is the solution.

    How do we make a meaningful impact?  Where is the catchy child abuse slogan?  You know…like the “War on Drugs” or “No Child Left Behind”.  Where is the rally cry to help keep kids safe from the dangers that lurk within their own homes?

    People who work in the field of child abuse; particularly those who work in prevention, joke about “working themselves out of a job” and “putting the CAC out of business”.  It is a good goal.  But where is the rally cry?  These of course are rhetorical questions.  Unless you have an actual answer.  Then I am all ears!

    There are things that you can do all year long…..long after April has ended. You can:

    • Find an agency that helps to protect children and support them in any way you can. If you can’t donate money, then donate time and talent.  Nonprofit agencies are quite adept at leveraging whatever your gift is, with other gifts, to create the biggest impact.
    • If you suspect abuse, make a report–even if it feels uncomfortable or even if you are unsure. The professionals will figure it out. You don’t have to figure it out.
    • Not sure what abuse looks like? Take a training on recognizing abuse.  The CAC of Jackson County offers several opportunities, either through our Protect Our Children program or through other offerings such as Responding to Allegations of Child Maltreatment offered this May. Register here: https://tinyurl.com/kwm6qx5
    • Do you see a mom or a dad struggling? Offer to help.
    • Let your legislative representatives know that children and child abuse is a priority for you and you want it to be their priority as well—both at the state and federal level.
    • You can change the conversation from “Why didn’t she tell?” to “Why did he do that?”
    • You can become a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) and learn how to advocate for children in the foster care system. We have hundreds of children on a waiting list right now who need an advocate.
    • You can teach your children, your grandchildren, your nieces and nephews, your neighbor’s child — all the children in your life — who is allowed to touch what part of their bodies and under what circumstance.
    • You can tell the adults in your life that your child is off limits by being present, by asking the right questions, and by staying in tuned and attentive to your child. If an offender knows you are watching and vigilant, it makes your child less accessible to them.

    You can STOP saying Not My Child; Not My Problem.

     

     

  • Change for Children: Our 3 Agency Collaborative Brainchild

    Change for Children: Our 3 Agency Collaborative Brainchild

    By Jennifer Mylenek, Executive Director of CASA of Jackson and Josephine Counties

    The month of April represents Child Abuse Awareness, which helps shine a spotlight on the tragic circumstances of hundreds of thousands of abused and/or neglected children in the U.S.  It is also a month in which I’m honored to be a part of a rich collaborative of child-serving agencies that have joined together to raise awareness and funds to support our strong linkage of services provided to abused children in Jackson County.   

    The Children’s Advocacy Center, CASA of Jackson County, and The Family Nurturing Center are three cornerstone non-profit agencies that support the needs of marginalized, abused, and/or neglected children in various ways with the common goal of ensuring every child can be safe from harm, thrive in a stable/loving home, have equal educational opportunities, and heal from abuse.

    The three agencies are led by strong and experienced Executive Directors who realized that together, we can do much more for our children. 

    Working across agencies has always been our practice when we have shared child clients, but April brought us together in a bigger way.  The subject of child abuse awareness is challenging to promote.  Most people would rather turn away than accept that it is going on in our county in an epidemic-like fashion. 

    We knew we could raise more awareness with the larger footprint of our three agencies shining a coordinated light.

    Change for Children was our brainchild and began last April in a small way.  Today we have seen a significant surge in community support and with our combined staff pitching in to raise the flag on child abuse, much is getting done.  Not to mention we found we all work really well together!

    I think you’ll agree that recognizing there’s a problem is the first step toward solving the problem, but stepping in to be part of the solution will lift your spirits to new heights, I guarantee it. 

    • You can help by simply eating out at the establishments supporting us below 
    • You can volunteer at one or more of our three agencies: CAC, CASA, Family Nurturing Center 
    • You can sign up for the PROTECT OUR CHILDREN training to learn how to prevent child abuse 
    • You can look into becoming a foster parent
    • You can thank our thoughtful sponsors by supporting their businesses
    • You can text C4C to 71777 to make a donation which will be shared by our three agencies

    If you’re already helping a child or children in some way, thank you. 

    There is no greater gift than to see a smile on a child’s face or to know you made a positive difference in their life.

     

     

  • The tragedy of Victoria Martens we must prevent in the future

    By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    Today I am sitting in my office trying to get caught up after the big snow fall in Medford.  The office is officially closed in observance of Martin Luther King Jr. Day.  It is very quiet and peaceful here.

    I have been reading about a case out of New Mexico of some pretty horrific abuse.  Maybe you have read about it?  It caught my attention on Facebook on a friend’s feed. I remember hearing a little bit about this case earlier in the investigation.

    The child was ten years old and named Victoria Martens.

    She was sexually abused and killed by her Mother’s boyfriend and his cousin while the mom watched. I would not advise researching for more information on this case, as most of the reports I have read have been pretty graphic and pretty horrific.

    Most of my career in child protection I have categorized parents in two categories. There are those who do the best they can and that just isn’t good enough to keep their kids healthy and safe, so their children are abused. These parents have the ability to learn and have the desire to do so.  These parents are the parents that when their children are removed from their care, they are usually returned after a treatment plan.  Or maybe the children are left in their care with a treatment plan.

    Then there are the parents I say are, well, just “mean” parents.  It appears from the articles that I have read that Victoria unfortunately had a “mean” mom.  These are the parents that are somewhat sadistic and are just cruel.  I will admit that I do not know the truth of what happened and I am making judgements based on what I have read in the news article.

    There among the news reports on the case is an interview with the Mother’s parents.  The case reports state that the Mom watched her current boyfriend, and two other men before that, have sex with her daughter for her own sexual gratification.  (I wasn’t kidding when I said the reports were graphic…they are disturbing even to me after many years of hearing these kinds of stories.)  There are reports that she watched two people give her daughter, who was ten years-old, meth in order to calm her down so they could have sex with her.

    Victoria’s grandparents say that the child never said anything and appeared to be happy. A friend and neighbor of the mom states, “I know Victoria is in heaven saying forgive my mom.”   The grandparents agree.  The grandparents report that their daughter loved her children and was a hard working single mother.

    If that is the case, then that leaves the rest of us to ask what went wrong.  What can we learn from this in order to prevent it in the future? 

    I need to know, even though I do not know Victoria, that she did not die for her mom’s, and the others allegedly involved, own perverted reasons.  I need to know we, as in the global we, can do better for the Victorias in the world.

    I have poured over the news reports in this case.  My heart hurts.  I cry not understanding how this happens.  I compare it to my own life.  What would have to happen in my life that I would find myself there and allow this to happen to ANY one’s child.  I can come up with no scenarios.

    My only hope is that most people in this world are made up of a moral fiber that does not allow for events to happen that would end in this result for a child.  For any child.

    Everyone one interviewed, or at least that I could find to read, stated that there were no signs that this was going on.  The child seemed happy.  Mom is described as a hard working single mom.

    I wonder how many people in this child’s life had any education regarding identifying and responding to child sexual abuse.  The mom states in one of her interviews that there were other men, acquaintances of mom’s, who had sex with this child because mom liked to watch.

    I have a favor to ask of all those who are outraged and horrified by the Victoria Martens case. 

    If you believe that this ten year-old should not have been forced to have sex with the men in her mother’s life, if you think it is a tragedy that she was killed one day after her tenth birthday, and if you would do anything in your power to prevent this from happening to children in your life or in your community or in your child’s life or in your grandchild’s life, then please join the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County in our efforts to protect the children in our community from sexual abuse. 

    Sign up for a class through our Protect Our Children project.  There are public classes every month.  We will even do private classes for you if you have 5 people or more who are interested in protecting children.

    We can make a difference.  We can’t change what has already happened, but we can control what we do in the future to prevent these tragedies from happening.

    Let’s all decide together that we will not accept that Victoria’s abuse and death could not have been prevented, that there were no signs. 

     

     

  • The Cost of Even Keel

    This is a post by Leah Howell, M.S., Training Coordinator for Protect Our Children Child Abuse Prevention Training of Jackson County, Oregon

    A few years ago when my son was around 4 months old, we were concerned about his weight, so I did a Google Images search on what a typical 4 month old should look like.

    I found a picture of a baby who could have been my son’s twin, and was born within weeks of my son. Out of curiosity, I clicked on the image and then the accompanying article. It was the story of a baby boy who had been repeatedly beaten, but each time was sent back home to his parents. At four months old he died at the hands of his father. To this day, when I think of that little boy, who deserved nothing but unbounded love, I feel deep, almost overwhelming sadness.

    These strong feelings have significance to me because I have a 3 year old boy whose emotions seem to fluctuate between unprecedented elation and severe emotional distress from moment to moment.

    My reaction to this roller-coaster of expression is to become “The Stabilizer.” I am the adult, after all. I am the person who needs to remain emotionally impervious to the tragedy of the minute, and offer some rational thought or feelings that balance his “crazy-makin’.” My son responds surprisingly well to most of my rational input-even at his age (you can give my husband all the credit for those genes).

    Though I know “The Stabilizer” to be a necessary role currently with my three year old, I find that this function has morphed, and has begun to seep into me in a more personal way.

    I find that it is my “go to” survival technique. When life gets stressful or overwhelming, I am the one who keeps the ship moving and minimizes any rocking – emotional or otherwise. Recently, I have sensed myself unwilling to contend with my own complicated emotions. Instead of feeling them, I choose to stuff them, then rationalize my way out of dealing with them.

    I sometimes wonder how damaging this survival technique is. Used too often, this practice could keep me from focusing on the things that really matter – both in my family and community.

    After all, allowing yourself to feel deeply is most often what compels a person to change or take decisive action.

    Well known to most people, child abuse (and especially child sexual abuse) has been allowed to continue under the noses of many who would be outraged that it was occurring. But when adults in proximity were faced with this possibility, they perceived this truth as too devastating to them, and they took no action.

    When I consider these tragic situations, I realize that I cannot continue as “The Stabilizer” for much longer, and still be the responsive parent I need to be. I acknowledge that the best protection I can provide to my son is to possess the will and courage to face the realities of life, (no matter how painful they may be) and walk alongside him through them- hand in hand.

    The cost of even keel blog post
    Leah Howell