Category: PROTECT OUR CHILDREN

Finding a Voice: Vince Gill

By Leah Howell, Training Coordinator for the Protect Our Children Project of the Children’s Advocacy Center

I’m not much of a country music fan, though I lived 30 minutes from Nashville throughout my college years, and for sometime afterward. Even now, 20 years later, I will read about a country musician, that will bring me back to my life there. The Ryman Auditorium always catches my attention. An old, beautiful, former church-turned performance hall. I’ll admit, I’ve only stepped into the Ryman one time. If my memory serves, I only got as far as the entryway. I still have regrets about not going to see some of the great performers that have graced its stage. But recently my attention was caught for a totally different reason.

Once again, a famous person broke his silence.

“You come up here and get to sing one song, and you go, what the hell you gonna sing?” said (Vince) Gill, 60,… “I think that the greatest way to live is to welcome the moment that you’re in and the time frame that you’re in. I chose this song that I wrote some years ago, and never really knew where the song came from, other than… We’re living in a time right now when finally people are having the courage to kind of speak out about being abused. And I think that is beyond healthy, and beyond beautiful, to see people finally have a voice for being wronged. And maybe this song came from a personal experience for me.

I was in seventh grade, and a young, dumb kid,” he continued. “And I had a gym teacher that acted inappropriately towards me and was trying to do things that I didn’t know what the hell was going on. And I was just fortunate that I got up and I ran. I just jumped up and I ran. I don’t know why. And I don’t think I ever told anybody my whole life. But maybe what’s been going on has given me a little bit of courage to speak out, too. I’m going to sing you this song that was inspired by all the people that are…” He let the thought trail off as he began picking out the introductory licks, but the cultural moment didn’t require much elaboration. (Variety, Feb 9th, 2018)

It takes a lot of courage to be on stage and share something so traumatic with an auditorium full of people. It causes me to think about the bravery of so many men and women in Hollywood and beyond who recently came forward, having been violated, intimidated and physically threatened by those in power. I feel my heart ache to think of all of the young gymnasts who suffered in silence (and some who weren’t silent) in the hands of a “well-respected” physician. I think of all of the women who endured being drugged and raped only to watch a comedian and sitcom actor become rich and famous as a “decent family man.”

I think of all the men and women and boys and girls who see these stories, and wish they had the courage to tell.

Because of the prevalence of these experiences, we know there are many, many people suffering with corrosive secrets. Secrets they may be afraid to tell for fear they hear an echo of those words swimming in their head – the words that tell them it was their fault. Blaming is language innocent victims know too well.

Many of you reading this post have never personally dealt with these issues, and may feel ill-equipped to handle discussions and disclosures with such deeply personal implications. But I would encourage you to consider changing your approach. Instead of using the usual tactics of shutting down the conversation or avoiding it altogether, take steps to become more comfortable and open. For starters, attend one of our Protect our Children-Stewards of Children training sessions. It will increase your comfort level, give you some tools to use as you participate in discussions, teach you how to respond to disclosures of abuse, and outline what specific actions to take if that disclosure comes from a child.

We all bear the responsibility to end this violence. Let’s find our voice.

Leah Howell
One Thing You Can Do That Matters
By Ginny Sagal, Communication & Outreach Coordinator for the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

You can’t read a newspaper or turn on a television without hearing about child sexual abuse.

Do not feel helpless.

There is one thing you can do that matters in addressing child sexual abuse. You can take a child abuse prevention training through the Children’s Advocacy Center Protect Our Children Project.

When I read and hear these horrible stories, I think how wonderful it would be if all parents and caregivers knew how to recognize and respond to child sexual abuse.

The Protect Our Children training guides you through 5 steps to protecting children from sexual abuse.

The 5 Steps are:
1. Learn the Facts: 1 in 10 children are sexually abused before the age of 18. Over 90% of them know their abuser. There is no more of this stranger danger thing. We need to go beyond that.
2. Minimize the Opportunity: Decrease the risk of abuse by eliminating one on one situations.
3. Talk About It: Have age appropriate, open conversations about our bodies, sex and boundaries. I think of the gymnast kids who were abused by their doctor or coach that the families had trusted.
4. Recognize the signs: Why is this person giving gifts to my child? Why is this person always with the kids when he or she should be with the adults when we are at a party?
5. React Responsibly: How you reacts matters. Go with your gut feeling!
The Protect Our Children Project uses the Stewards of Children curriculum, developed by Darkness to Light.

We believe that when adults take the class they recognized that it is all our responsibility to protect children.

We believe that adults who take the class decrease the risk of the children in their life being sexually abused.

The fact is that 99% of participants who take the training would recommend this training to a friend, family member or co-worker. (Study done by the University of Oregon Center for Prevention of Abuse and Neglect.)

The Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County has partnered with The Ford Family Foundation to offer this training to anyone in Jackson County for FREE.

Just think, in 2 to 3 short hours you can decrease the risk that a child in your life will be sexually abused. THAT IS BIG!!!

Do one thing that Matters for the kids and teens in your life. Take a Protect our Children training.

To register for a training for yourself or your group, business or organization go to: http://cacjc.org/services/prevention or call Leah Howell, Protect Our Children Training Coordinator, at 541-734-5437 ext. 1013

Ginny Sagal
Take action to change children’s lives
By Kirsten Arreguin, Program Manger, Jackson County Child Welfare and Board Member, The Children’s Advocacy Center

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month.

Thank you for taking the time to read and get informed about child abuse prevention. Most people would probably avoid reading about the abuse and neglect of children. It’s easier to ignore it, pretend that it doesn’t happen in your community, in your neighborhood or to children that you know.

But you’re different. You’ve taken the time to educate yourself or you may even know firsthand what it’s like to suffer from child abuse. For whatever reason, you’re the kind of person who gets involved in finding solutions. You’re a leader in your community’s fight against child abuse and you show a great deal of strength and courage.

You know the warning signs of a child in danger might include:
- Frequent or unexplained injuries
- Sudden changes in personality, activities, or behavior
- Inappropriate sexual behavior
- Depression and anxiety
- Hypervigilance
You know the warning signs of a family at risk that may include:
- Abuse of alcohol or drugs
- Domestic violence
- Isolation from others
- Difficulties controlling anger or stress
- Appearing uninterested in the care, nourishment or safety of their children
Are you looking for more ways to make a positive difference in the lives of children? You already have a heart to serve, so here’s your next challenge: Look at the suggestions below and resolve to take action on one of these this year.

Take the Training!

Protect our Children is a child sexual abuse prevention training program offered through The Children’s Advocacy Center. This free training teaches you how to protect your child and those around you from sexual abuse. You will learn to spot the signs of possible abuse and respond effectively if you suspect abuse.

I’ve taken this valuable training, and I urge you to do the same. Please go to the Children’s Advocacy Center’s website and click on Services/Protect Our Children to register to find out more. You can attend 3 hour training held monthly at the Jackson County Library or request a training for your work, church, or organization. I can’t tell you how important this training is for every adult in our community. Please consider signing up today.

Volunteer your Time & Talents!

Have you already taken the Protect our Children training? Would you also consider volunteering your time to assist others to complete the training? There are several opportunities available for you to help make more trainings available to the community. Your time and talents are needed in many other ways also. You can view more opportunities on the CAC website when you click on the Volunteer tab. No time is ever wasted when it’s spent in the service of a child who’s experienced abuse or neglect.

If you’re not able to volunteer your time, can I make a personal ask of you? The CAC provides specialized medical and therapeutic services to hundreds of children every year. They need your financial support to continue offering these valuable services. Please consider making a donation today by visiting the website and clicking Donate. Believe me, I know firsthand how important your gifts are to the children who are seen at the CAC.

Open Your Heart and Home!

As the Program Manager for Jackson County Child Welfare, I would be remiss if I didn’t take a moment to tell you about our community’s great need for foster homes. Unfortunately, at this time, we are struggling daily to find families who can provide foster care for children who have been or are suspected of being the victims of abuse or neglect. It is a heartbreak to have no other option than to separate siblings into different homes because there simply is no room for them to stay together. Would you like to find out more about becoming a foster parent? Please contact us at 541-776-6120 or visit us on Facebook Jackson County Foster Care and Adoption.

Thank you for having a heart for children and a desire to help in their healing.

Kirsten Arreguin
Does child abuse happen in our state? In Jackson County?
By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

April is child abuse prevention/awareness month. This is my traditional April Blog recognizing and focusing on the problem of child abuse.

I was doing a little research to see what was going on in the world of child abuse. I found a page on the internet that is nothing but stories of child abuse. They are all true. They are all recent. They are all heartbreaking.

One tells of a child whose father found out she was having sex and so, as punishment, forced her to become a prostitute at a truck stop. There are stories of child fatalities; there are stories of parents beating their children. It is quite disturbing. It is a true crime website. I was simply looking for some compelling story to blog about and found a whole site. All from 2017.

Some will say that those horrible things do not happen in Oregon. Those things happen in other countries or other parts of this country. Sadly, this is not accurate.

There were 964 children abused in Jackson County in 2016. In the state of Oregon, there were 27 child abuse fatalities. 21 of those were perpetrated by a parent or parent figure. All 27 of the children who died knew their abuser. We call it child abuse fatalities, and as awful as that sounds, it does not sound as awful as murder. We look for words that are softer to describe these heinous acts.

Child abuse happens in Oregon. Child abuse happens in Jackson County.

The foster parent shortage that has been reported on is not just in other parts of the state. It is here in our county as well.

This is not someone else’s problem. It is ours. The problem has been long established. What isn’t as clear, is the solution.

How do we make a meaningful impact? Where is the catchy child abuse slogan? You know…like the “War on Drugs” or “No Child Left Behind”. Where is the rally cry to help keep kids safe from the dangers that lurk within their own homes?

People who work in the field of child abuse; particularly those who work in prevention, joke about “working themselves out of a job” and “putting the CAC out of business”. It is a good goal. But where is the rally cry? These of course are rhetorical questions. Unless you have an actual answer. Then I am all ears!

There are things that you can do all year long…..long after April has ended. You can:
- Find an agency that helps to protect children and support them in any way you can. If you can’t donate money, then donate time and talent. Nonprofit agencies are quite adept at leveraging whatever your gift is, with other gifts, to create the biggest impact.
- If you suspect abuse, make a report–even if it feels uncomfortable or even if you are unsure. The professionals will figure it out. You don’t have to figure it out.
- Not sure what abuse looks like? Take a training on recognizing abuse. The CAC of Jackson County offers several opportunities, either through our Protect Our Children program or through other offerings such as Responding to Allegations of Child Maltreatment offered this May. Register here: https://tinyurl.com/kwm6qx5
- Do you see a mom or a dad struggling? Offer to help.
- Let your legislative representatives know that children and child abuse is a priority for you and you want it to be their priority as well—both at the state and federal level.
- You can change the conversation from “Why didn’t she tell?” to “Why did he do that?”
- You can become a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) and learn how to advocate for children in the foster care system. We have hundreds of children on a waiting list right now who need an advocate.
- You can teach your children, your grandchildren, your nieces and nephews, your neighbor’s child — all the children in your life — who is allowed to touch what part of their bodies and under what circumstance.
- You can tell the adults in your life that your child is off limits by being present, by asking the right questions, and by staying in tuned and attentive to your child. If an offender knows you are watching and vigilant, it makes your child less accessible to them.
You can STOP saying Not My Child; Not My Problem.
Change for Children: Our 3 Agency Collaborative Brainchild
By Jennifer Mylenek, Executive Director of CASA of Jackson and Josephine Counties

The month of April represents Child Abuse Awareness, which helps shine a spotlight on the tragic circumstances of hundreds of thousands of abused and/or neglected children in the U.S. It is also a month in which I’m honored to be a part of a rich collaborative of child-serving agencies that have joined together to raise awareness and funds to support our strong linkage of services provided to abused children in Jackson County.

The Children’s Advocacy Center, CASA of Jackson County, and The Family Nurturing Center are three cornerstone non-profit agencies that support the needs of marginalized, abused, and/or neglected children in various ways with the common goal of ensuring every child can be safe from harm, thrive in a stable/loving home, have equal educational opportunities, and heal from abuse.

The three agencies are led by strong and experienced Executive Directors who realized that together, we can do much more for our children.

Working across agencies has always been our practice when we have shared child clients, but April brought us together in a bigger way. The subject of child abuse awareness is challenging to promote. Most people would rather turn away than accept that it is going on in our county in an epidemic-like fashion.

We knew we could raise more awareness with the larger footprint of our three agencies shining a coordinated light.

Change for Children was our brainchild and began last April in a small way. Today we have seen a significant surge in community support and with our combined staff pitching in to raise the flag on child abuse, much is getting done. Not to mention we found we all work really well together!

I think you’ll agree that recognizing there’s a problem is the first step toward solving the problem, but stepping in to be part of the solution will lift your spirits to new heights, I guarantee it.
- You can help by simply eating out at the establishments supporting us below
- You can volunteer at one or more of our three agencies: CAC, CASA, Family Nurturing Center
- You can sign up for the PROTECT OUR CHILDREN training to learn how to prevent child abuse
- You can look into becoming a foster parent
- You can thank our thoughtful sponsors by supporting their businesses
- You can text C4C to 71777 to make a donation which will be shared by our three agencies
If you’re already helping a child or children in some way, thank you.

There is no greater gift than to see a smile on a child’s face or to know you made a positive difference in their life.
Ensure your child/teen is safe in the care of a youth organization

By Leah Howell, Protect Our Children Training Coordinator

Recent headlines are almost unbelievable. Another employee from a youth serving organization has been accused of making sexual advances toward a teen.

It makes us wonder how this person has been allowed to join the ranks of a reputable organization. We assume that the employment screening that an organization does, in adhering to national standards, will keep our children and teens safe. So why does it keep failing? If these measures are, in fact, effective how do these abusive acts toward children and teens keep happening in our organizations?

As most of us are aware, organizations are made up of humans. Humans who at times have poor judgement, make mistakes, and overlook problems. Pressure from others, funding difficulties, or the urgent needs of the population served may compel a leader in an organization to approve arrangements that risk the safety of the children and teens in their care. These actions are not taken out of malicious intent, but are enacted based on difficulties in some area of the organization that cause it to stray from what is ideal.

As clients and customers of these organization’s services, you are in a position to influence these decisions. You have the power to demand that the organization’s policies ensure the safety of your child or teen, no matter what challenges they face.

Here are some suggestions about how to ensure your child/teen is safe in the care of an organization:

Step One: Get Educated– When you become educated in what should be expected of an organization who cares for your child/teen, you will know what to ask and what to look for while interacting with the organization. Protect Our Children Stewards of Children training is a free, 3 hour training that informs adults about healthy policies in organizations as it relates to child-adult interactions. We offer this training each month at the Medford Library. In this training you will also receive a workbook with many resources that spell out exactly how an organization should conduct themselves.

Step Two: Observe and Ask– After you have educated yourself, it is time to start observing what is going on in the organization. For instance, do any red flags go up when you drop in for a visit? This is the time when you start asking the organization really important questions, “What are the circumstances, if any, when an adult may be one on one with a child?,” “What are your screening practices in hiring new employees?”, “Do you ever make exceptions to your stated policies?” ,”Do you provide a Code of Conduct for employees and volunteers that outlines what is and is not acceptable while working with children?” These questions, and others highlighted in the Protect Our Children Stewards of Children training, will go a long way in bringing attention to the situations that would be most dangerous for your child. It also makes the organization aware that you are paying attention, and will be holding them accountable to their responses.

Step Three: Evaluate– Now it is time to evaluate whether the organization is responsive and adhering to the standards that increase the safety of your child/teen, or whether they are unnecessarily exposing your child to unsafe situations and people. If you are dissatisfied with their current policies- communicate that to the leadership. Let them know that the Protect Our Children Stewards of Children training can be brought to their site, and is offered free of charge. We can also assist them in developing safer policies, and provide resources to help them navigate some of the challenges they may face in enacting them.

Your child’s safety depends on your awareness and action. We can make our community safer for our children, but it takes a proactive effort.

Leah Howell