Category: Law Enforcement

  • What will be the final grade?

    What will be the final grade?

     

    By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    I came across an article posted on Facebook that talked about a woman who was suing her church because they did not warn her husband that, by confessing he abused a child, it would be reported and investigated. 

    The church (The Church of Latter-day Saints) is sticking by their decision to report and to protect a child. 

    The story goes that the husband confessed his “sins” to the pastor.  They did not warn her or her husband that they would report those sins to the authorities.  In this case, the sin was “engaging in inappropriate conduct” with an underage girl.  The church stands by their decision to protect this child and make the report.  The Church goes further stating that it teaches that its leaders and members should fulfill all legal obligations to report child abuse to authorities. They even have a 24-hour helpline to report abuse. 

    Let’s lay to rest any lingering thoughts about whether or not the offender was unjustly accused.  He was investigated based on his words – what he said he did.  In 2017, the offender was convicted and is serving 15 years in prison.

    First thought:  Bravo!

    I will put my disclaimer here.  I am not a member of the Church of Latter-day Saints.  However, I applaud their straightforwardness in protecting children.  Not only in action — but then also by the messaging they sent that they are standing behind that decision, even in the face of being sued.

    Second thought: I hope it was not her child. 

    Can you imagine the message this child is hearing if this is a family member? They are suing the church for 9.5 million for loss of income, emotional distress and the family’s loss of her husband’s companionship.  Also 40 thousand to cover his legal fees.

    In other words, those left unspoken….“You are not important.  Your abuse should be kept silent.  The offender’s status is more important.  You deserve to be abused.”  No support will likely send this child deep into silence.  And how unfair.  She/he did not report.  The offender did.  Let that sink in for a moment.  And if anyone has any questions about why the child did not report, research the story.  If this child is a family member his/her survival probably depended on keeping the secret.

    If it wasn’t her child, then there is a chance that the adults in this child’s life will be supportive and help the child find the path to recovery.  Let’s hope for this scenario.

    This happened in Oregon. 

    In Oregon, as is the case in 28 other states, clergy are among the professionals mandated by law to report known or suspected instances of child abuse or neglect.

    What is on the line?  Besides millions of the church’s monies? 

    This litigation if successful can push the church back into a cloak of silence.  We are barely dealing with all the abuse that happened behind the closed doors of our faith-based communities for the last five decades or so. 

    What would be the outcome of that cloak of silence? 

    Creating an environment where abuse is accepted, where the victim is shunned,.…hmmmm,  sounds vaguely familiar. Isn’t that where we have been working to move away from? 

    Basically this lawsuit, if successful, will essentially tell children, in all walks of faith, that the offender deserves the protection — not the child.

    What can be done?  I don’t know.  Anyone can sue for any reason.  This is a test I think. It could offer more safety to offenders or it could protect clergy who provide a pathway to safety, healing and hope for children being abused. 

    The final grade is going to change the world that I work in. The question is will it shine light on abuse or push it back into shadows?

     

    Tammi Pitzen
  • The Many Faces of Healing: Tasha

     

    My name is Tasha.  I used to live with my mom and my dad. 

    I used to do things that made my mom get mad at me and tell me I was bad.  I had a secret that I wanted to tell her — but I was scared –so I would do things that I hoped would make her ask me what was wrong. 

    One day I told her. 

    I was so scared — even more scared than I was when my dad would come into my room after everyone else was in bed.  I used to pretend I was sleeping because I thought he would leave.  He would come in and touch me places where he was not supposed to.  He did other things too.  Things only mommies and daddies are supposed to do. 

    When I told my mom she started crying, but knew exactly what to do.  She and I went to the hospital and called the police.  My mom said she would keep me safe. 

    The hospital told her to take me to the Children’s Advocacy Center.  I talk to a lady who said her job was to talk to kids.  She asked me a lot of questions.  They were embarrassing.  I also had to have a doctor do an exam and do something called “collect evidence”.  I don’t really know what that means but knew it was something that was going to help me be safe. 

    A lady talked to my mom and helped my mom come up with a plan to keep me safe.  She even called and checked on us after we left. 

    I still visit the Children’s Advocacy Center.  I go to therapy and talk about ways to keep my body safe and how it wasn’t my fault. 

    The day I walked into the Children’s Advocacy Center I was so scared — but now I feel safe and the best thing is that my mom stopped crying.

     

  • My Spin: Oregon’s Top Rank Registered Sex Offenders

    By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    School has started back.  At my house we are shifting back to “normal” schedule.  You know—the regular routine.  6:30 wake up.  7:12 out the door for school and work.  6:00 get home.  6:15 start our reading homework.  6:45 do the rest of our homework.  7:15 piano practice.  7:45 shower.  8:30 bedtime.  Oops.  I forgot dinner.  We do eat in there somewhere, but the schedule is tight.  We try to find some balance.  We try to concentrate our family time on the weekend and build as many memories as possible.  It is easy to go on auto pilot.  To forget to have actual conversations.  To forget to check in with each other.  The frenzy of the holidays is right around the corner.  It will get more hectic.

    This week, we have read about Oregon being number one in the country in the number of registered sex offenders.  There has been lots of chatter about what this means and why this is.  I don’t know why.  Do we make more people register than others?  Are we more proactive at looking for sex offenders?  There are many spins that you could put on this. 

    Here is my spin.  This is a good reminder to make time to talk to your children about their bodies and how to keep them safe.  This is a good reminder to stay involved and present in your child’s life regardless of their age.

    The truth is there are a lot of sex offenders EVERYWHERE.  I don’t say that to make you paranoid.  I say that to make you aware.

    I started having these body conversations with my own child when he was 2 years old.  He learned the correct term for his “boy” parts.  I never have to guess if he is talking about his penis, his tummy, his bottom or his toe.  While the cutesy names make it easier for the adults to say, it definitely makes it harder for anyone else to know what exactly your child is talking about.  In an interview to figure out if he or she has been abused, this small thing is crucial.

    I read a book to my child every once in a while about body safety and telling.  He loved that book.  It was named “Gorp’s Secret”.  It was a very child friendly way to open up the conversation.  Better yet, my child learned early who was allowed to touch what body parts under what circumstances.  It was a book that was in the story time rotation.  Just like all his other books.  Sat on the shelf just like his other books waiting for his little fingers to pick it out for his dad or me to read to him.  Normal. 

    My child’s pediatrician has the same talk with him during his annual check-up.  It does not weird him out.  It is a conversation that is part of their normal interactions during his exam.  Just like checking in about bike helmets, seat belts, and what kinds of veggies he is eating.

    Contrary to what many people might think because of my career, I do not talk to my son about these things very frequently.  When an opportunity presents itself I don’t shy away from it but I don’t bring it up.  I don’t have to.  We have been having these “little talks” since he was a baby.  He knows.

    The older your child gets, the more uncomfortable it is to start these conversations, but if they have been a part of your interactions all along they are a little easier.  It is a way of propping the door open, if you will.  Paving the way for your child to come to you if they ever need to.

    Still not sure what to be vigilant about or worried you won’t recognize when your child may need you but unable to tell you exactly they need you? 

    Please sign up to take our free Stewards of Children training under the CAC Protect Our Children program.  We hold them frequently.  Go to our website and sign up.  This class will teach you how to recognize and respond to child sexual abuse using five simple steps.  It is free.  It takes less than 3 hours.  

    It will give you tools to reduce the risk of sexual abuse to the children in your life.  Isn’t that worth your time?

    #BackToSchoolCAC

     

     

  • “My family survived” because of the CAC

     

    This is a speech by Lori Phillips

    The year was 1993. My oldest daughter, Jennifer, came to me one evening and disclosed a horrific truth.

    Her father had sexually molested her.

    She was 11 years old that year. The specific abuse had taken place many years before. She had blocked it out, only to remember on a cold and windy October afternoon.

    I believed her, but I didn’t want to believe that the one person I trusted most with her care, could commit such a vile act and hurt my child so deeply. I contacted the authorities. And I waited.

    Once she disclosed her abuse, the floodgates opened. Her memory, her pain began to spill over, threatening to drown us all. I took to my journal, and wrote:

    “We are hiding out at Mom’s, partially because I need the support. My sweet beautiful child has been hurt so deeply. The days pass and more is disclosed. I want to help her, to take it all away. I want to see him suffer. Death is too easy. How can anyone do this to an innocent child? Of course, he has taken that from her.”

    The next few weeks were wrought with anxiety and tension. Never sure what would be around the next corner. Sometimes the days seem so endless. I want so much to help my baby girl, but I don’t know how. I see a facade during the day, but in the evening when we are alone, I see the raw ugly truth.

    I watch as she plucks out her eyelashes and brows. I place a pillow under her head as she bangs it against the hard floor. I want to scream, cry and vent my anger. I grieve for what is lost, for the innocence that was taken from her. She can never go back, will never have a normal childhood or adolescence. I’m angry, sad and frightened. How am I to deal with all of this?”

    Navigating the legal system is confusing and frightening to most of us. It is especially frightening to a mother trying to protect her child from further harm, all the while dealing with the emotional hurricane that had laid waste to our lives.

    The Task Force was a safe port in the storm directing us to the shelter of the CAC. Feeling confused, lost and alone, I placed my broken family in the capable hands of the CAC staff.

    Jane welcomed us with warm open arms and provided the knowledge and support that we so desperately needed. It was here we started our journey of healing. My questions were answered as the entire staff held us up through each step on the road to recovery – the road that takes each of us from being a victim, to that of a survivor.

    I became active in a parent’s support group at the Center. There I gained essential knowledge of the process we were to experience, from the Grand Jury to the courtroom and beyond. It was this amazing group, run by the CAC staff, that shared with me valuable insight into the world of not only the perpetrator, but the victim as well.

    I came to understand how it happened without my knowledge, and how to help my daughter.

    Therapy is a wonderful tool, and with a non-offending parent involvement, the path to healing can begin. It really does take a village to raise a child.

    I recently had the honor to tour the expanded facility of the CAC. I was excited to view all the new opportunities the center has to help those who pass through the doors. Yet it saddens me to realize there is still a need, and that there always will be. Child sexual abuse has always been present in our communities, hiding in the threads of secrecy.

    We need the CAC to help those who have been abused, their families and to educate those that have not.

    I am honored to tell my story. My family supports me now, as the CAC did so many years ago. They were my lifeline, my hope that someday I could say with conviction, “My family survived.”

    I am so grateful to the CAC and all its supporters, volunteers, staff, and sponsors. Because of them, my family is healthy and whole. They made the difference in our lives.

     

  • A child shares a secret-what happens next? Why CAC Matters

    By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    I often contemplate late at night, when I think of the children that come through the center, and worry if their needs are getting met or if they are safe or what could we do to make it better. Does the CAC matter?  Does it matter what services we provide?  Who does it matter to?  Why does it matter?

    Please for minute close your eyes and take an imaginary journey with me. 

    I will forewarn you it is not for the faint of heart and it could trigger emotions from the past.  Be safe as you take this journey and, if it becomes too much to take, please take care of yourself.

    Imagine a six year-old little girl. 

    She is happiest at school.   She is safest there as well.  She loves to spend recess jumping rope, playing wall ball or swinging high in the air.  She is not always clean.  She is not always accepted by her teacher or her classmates.  She is sometimes disruptive in class and always hungry and sleepy.

    She finds refuge with a school counselor and begins to trust her.  She shares with her a secret.  A secret so horrible that her counselor begins to get teary eyed, however assures the little girl that she will get her the help that she needs.

    The school counselor calls a Social Worker and asks for help for her.

    Several things have just been triggered. 

    A criminal and child protection investigation has been started. At six, she will be interviewed by a police officer or an interviewer.  The choice becomes where this interview will happen and how many people will interview her.  At six, she will need a medical evaluation and she will need therapy.  Where will she get these services?

    There is some urgency to gathering the information as the Case Worker needs to secure her safety.  She cries as she is led from the school to a car waiting outside.  Will she be able to see her Mom?  Will she be mad?

    There are choices to be made and those choices matter. 

    They matter to that six year-old little girl in the first grade.  They matter to her Mom.  They matter to the Police Officer.  They matter to the Case Worker.  They matter to the Medical Provider.  They matter to the Therapist.

    The CAC matters.

    The CAC does not erase what happened to that six year-old.  It only helps to wrap a safety net around her.  The CAC does not make it go away.  It paves a way to process what happened and to make that a part of her history, but not of her future.

    The CAC provides a holistic approach to child abuse investigations and interventions. 

    All under one roof, so to speak, you can have a forensic interview, a medical evaluation, a therapy assessment and find a support person to help you find a way through the system.

    These services start with an interview and hopefully end with a prosecution.  Everyone involved is specially trained to deal with child victims.  The Deputy District Attorney has a full picture of who was involved in what and there is a system in place to share information to insure that the child is receiving the best services possible.

    Or the old way can be chosen:

    The six-year old girl will be interviewed by a police officer, then a social worker, then a medical provider, then therapist, then a Deputy District Attorney.  Each of these interviews can take place in a separate building with different addresses.  Somewhere along the way, someone will call the mom to inform her that her daughter is at the Police Station being interviewed.  The interview may take place in the same interview room that the suspect might be interviewed in later.  Then after all of this takes place, the Mom will be instructed to take her child to the emergency room at a local hospital and there she can wait for her child to be examined.  No one will tell her the results of those exams right then.  They will be passed to an officer who will then pass that information on to the Mom.  There will, later, be a referral to a therapist made and at some point the child will be seen for an assessment.  After the assessment, the child may be assigned to a therapist that might be the same as the one who did the assessment or it might be someone different.  Eventually, if the information seems right and credible, the case may be presented for charges.  The child may have to testify at Grand Jury and then again in a trial.  They will meet a couple of new people…the Deputy District Attorney prosecuting the case and an advocate that will help notify the child and the Mom of their legal rights as a “victim” of a crime.

    No one is sharing information with each other, so no one has a full picture of what is going on and who is involved. 

    The Mom may even get conflicting explanations of what will happen next.  There is no “hand off” for lack of a better description of the case from the investigative process into the prosecution process.  There is no one checking in with the family in the meantime to see if the child is feeling safe.  The six year-old may even fall through the cracks of the system for a while — until she is rediscovered at a later point in time.

    The CAC matters. 

    The multi-disciplinary team matters. 

    The choices matter. 

    The six year-old matters.

  • Police Chief O’Meara: Why CAC Matters

    Police Chief O’Meara: Why CAC Matters

    Post by Tighe O’Meara – Ashland, Oregon Police Chief

    I am going to start off on a dark note, but a real note, and one that needs to be recognized.

    1 in 10 children are reported to be sexual assault victims. But let’s go ahead and make it worse, because this doesn’t account for the ones that don’t get reported; this doesn’t account for the ones that make it to a family member’s attention but it doesn’t go any further than that. And this doesn’t account for the fact that society puts different pressures on boys than it does girls, so boys feel like they have to carry the burden, silently, allowing it to traumatize them over and over, and allowing the trauma to have a profound impact on the rest of their lives.

    We know that sex assaults are under-reported, across the board, at all levels, for many reasons. And grossly under-reported at that. With children it is no different, so if we know about 1 in 10, we can safely assume that the problem is much worse than the 1 in 10 figure. And, that number does not include the child victimizations we have that are physical, non-sexual assaults in nature. Add in the physical abuse victims and the numbers are even more alarming.

    These are dark numbers, troubling statistics, and they are not likely to change anytime soon. We have no ability to have significant control over these numbers, and likely won’t for the foreseeable future.

    I have been chief of police in Ashland for about a year and a half now. I have learned a few lessons, and have much more to learn. One of the things that I first learned, after months and months of stressing out over everything, is that bad stuff happens. There is no getting around it, people are going to get victimized. And this includes children.

    And while it is important to do everything we can to prevent,  just as important is how we respond when it happens, because it is inevitable that it’s going to happen, and we will never eradicate it, not anytime soon anyway.

    So I slowly realized that just as important as trying to prevent crime, is trying to respond to it in the manner that is best for the victim, best for those close to the victim, and best for the community.

    A couple of quotes I like that say this well:

    “It’s not the failures that define us so much as how we respond” ~ Shane Parrish

    “What defines us is how well we rise after falling”

    We don’t have the control we want over these incidents to prevent them from happening, so we need to make sure we respond to them well, and this is where the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County shines a bright light on the dark numbers I mentioned. This is where the women and men of the CAC step in and offer national best practices for the Jackson County community.

    Jackson County is great for team work.

    No agency in Jackson County is big enough to go it alone, we all need each others help. And perhaps nowhere does this present itself more than with child victims. We are lucky to have this partnership in Jackson County, and we are fortunate to have a set game plan, county wide, for how we are all going to respond to these troubling complaints.

    Violence against children is after all a community-wide problem, and community-wide, county-wide, all of the police are on the same page on how to handle it, and we can offer this only because of the  dedicated experts we have working out of the Children’s Advocacy Center.

    This should give all of us, all members of the community, some the peace of mind. Peace of mind in knowing that while we can’t (unfortunately) stop these horrific things from happening, what we can do is come together and embrace national best practices.

    We can come together and make sure the child victims are not traumatized again over the same situation.We can come together and set up a  program and a plan for the victim and the non-offending family members to move past the incident to a better place, both physically and emotionally. This is what CAC brings to our community.

    The police officers in our community want to be there for all members of the community who need us. We want to be there when someone calls and says “I’m in trouble.” And, we will be, we will answer the call and respond to help all who ask for our help.

    But, we can’t be everything to every person, and we can’t provide the level of work that our most vulnerable community members need, that is the importance of the CAC and the dedicated women and men that work there.

    When we become aware that one of little ones needs help, we all want to spring into action, and we do. In our police departments we have trained and dedicated officers that are there to be a part of that process, but we simply can’t offer these kids and these families what they need, and without the CAC, we would be pretty lost.

    For that matter, we can’t offer ourselves what WE need to move a criminal case forward, without the help of the CAC, because they provide us with the right facilities and atmosphere to get the evidence we need to bring a case to the DA’s office.

    Do you know what the CAC looks like?

    It’s like coming into your own home, it’s like visiting grandma – there’s your toys over in the corner, there’s the friendly loving face waiting to greet you. Take the CAC out of the picture and you’re trading that comfortable at-home feeling for the cold sterility of a police station. You’re taking away that level of comfort and replacing it with a hospital visit for the medical exam. You take away a short visit, in what feels like your family dining room, for grand jury and replacing it with a trip to the DA’s office.

    The model employed by the CAC, the model that allows for all services to be provided under one roof, from initial assessment, interview, medical exam and follow up counseling for victims and non-offending parents, saves about $1,000 on each case that is brought forward.

    Without this model we would have to try to piece these services together, further traumatizing not the just the child victim, but also the already stressed and traumatized parent who is trying to struggle through these incidents.

    We are truly fortunate to have this facility and these people, working there, every day, bringing compassion, comfort and healing to the survivors, and the families. Helping not just the families move through these difficult situations but, while doing so, supporting the law enforcement mission to hold the offenders responsible.

    The numbers quoted at the beginning of this post are troubling indeed, but our partnership, county-wide, with the CAC of Jackson County, shines a light on that dark problem, and helps us all get through it to a place that’s a little bit better.

    So what can you do to help?

    Take the child sexual abuse training offered by the CAC.

    Tell your friends and family about the CAC, spread the word about the CAC’s mission and the important, invaluable work that is done there every day.  Encourage your friends and family to take the training and to help out.

    Keeping in mind the quote that I offered before: “What defines us is not that we fall but it is how well we rise after falling.”

    I will close with this:

    The CAC is a shining example,  of a community coming together to rise, everyday, time after time, after falling down, one child victim at a time. That’s why the CAC is so important, and that’s why we need to support it.

     

    Ashland, Oregon Police Chief, Tighe O'Meara

    Tighe O’Meara, Ashland, Oregon Police Chief

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • A Survivor Shares her Story: Why CAC Matters

    A Survivor Shares her Story: Why CAC Matters

     

    This is the inspiring speech presented by Kira Zavala at last year’s 2015 CAC Cherish a Child luncheon. Kira shares her experience as a survivor of child abuse and as a child receiving services from the CAC.

    My name is Kira Zavala. I am a mother, wife, community volunteer, business woman and a survivor of child abuse.

    In 1990 as an 8 year old little girl, I walked through the doors of the Children’s Advocacy Center. I was so scared. I didn’t know what to expect, I didn’t know if people would believe what had happened to me, I didn’t know if I was safe and I didn’t know where my abuser was.

    I had so many questions and I couldn’t find the right words to verbalize my questions. I was living in fear.

    I remember walking into the building of the CAC for the first time and there were so many bright colors and it smelled so fresh and clean. I was seated in a waiting room with my mom and there were all of these really cool toys that I had never had the opportunity to play with before. They helped me to step outside of why I was there for a brief moment and gave me comfort.

    Shortly after a lady greeted me, I said good bye to my mom and the lady walked me into a room that had a big two way mirror. I sat at a table with a piece of paper and coloring crayons. I knew it was time to start talking about what happened. My body got really hot and I began to get restless and scared.

    I started coloring in order to not have to make eye contact with the lady. I remember being so ashamed and embarrassed to have to say it out loud. I felt that if I said it, it would be real and I didn’t want to remember it. But I knew I had to, in order to be safe and in order to not let it happen again to me, my siblings or anyone in my family.

    After a few questions, I began to feel more and more comfortable talking to the interviewer. Once the interview was over, I had a sense of relief. But I didn’t know what was going to happen. The lady assured me that I was going to be safe. I rejoined my mother and we talked about the terrifying possibility of me having to testify in court.

    I was afraid to have to make eye contact with my abuser. I was worried that he might try to hurt me again and in front of everyone. And I questioned, “What if he followed me home?”

    On the day of court I remember being terrified. I again felt that I had done something wrong.

    We first went to the Children’s Advocacy Center before going to the court house. We met in a room and everyone said wonderful things to me. I remember there being a social worker, a lawyer, a sheriff and a member of the CAC. After our meeting one of the ladies came into the room and gave me a light blue box. Inside was a crystal heart. I had never seen one close up. It was beautiful. While inspecting it she told me that I was strong, I was special and that I will grow up to be beautiful. It’s a moment in my life that I will never forget.

    I held the crystal heart in my hand and walked to the court house. I held it as I took my oath and I held it even tighter during my testimony.

    The lady was right! I am strong, I am special and I did grow up to be a beautiful.

    Today, on behalf of 8 year old little Kira, the CAC, their community partners and most importantly the children who have and will walk through the doors of the CAC, WE would like to give you your very own Heart, please take one from the center of your table. As you hold this in your hand, know, as I did, that everyone in this room is STRONG, SPECIAL AND BEAUTIFUL.

    All of the children who come to the Children’s Advocacy Center are STRONG, SPECIAL & BEAUTIFUL.

    Thank you for your support for these children.

    (This year’s Cherish a Child Luncheon is Oct. 20th 2016, 12 noon – 1 pm at Inn at the Commons in Medford, Oregon. For more information, to attend or to be a sponsor, contact Julia at: 541-282-5474 X111)

     

    kira-3
    Kira Zavala
  • Birthday Wishes: Believe a Child or Not?

    By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    I have a birthday in April. I have no qualms about the number. I will be turning 47.

    26 of those years have been spent working in one role or another in the field of child abuse. Wow!

    That equates to more than half of my life spent responding to child abuse and trying to bring awareness to one of the most pervasive public health issues of modern times (or at least in my opinion.)

    The pendulum has swung from one end of the spectrum to the other and everywhere in between, as far as practice in securing safety and investigation of child abuse during my career. When I began, you were told to believe everything a child told you and then, later, it was to be suspicious of everything a child told you.

    Somewhere along the way, there were guidelines put in place for talking with children in a way that invited an open narrative, that minimized contamination of the information and was more trauma informed.

    There are still people who will never believe what a child tells them about abuse. If I had any advice for anyone trying to figure this out in their own life — it would be that it is better err on the side of keeping the child safe.

    Here are some things that I have learned along the way about figuring out next steps and what to believe, and because I think ranking is overvalued, they are not in any particular order:

    • In most cases, there are only two people in the world that can be 100% sure of exactly what happened in suspected child sexual abuse cases…the child and the perpetrator. These things do not generally happen with witnesses around. Child sexual abuse events generally do not generate C.S.I. type evidence.
    • Ask yourself what the child victim has to gain by making a false allegation. Usually the answer is — nothing but heartache. In my career I have spoken to literally thousands and thousands of children, some in a forensic interview and some out in the “field” on scene and otherwise, and what my experience has been is that most of the time if you asked a child what they wanted to happen to their offender (and by the way this is a BAD idea for a lot of different reasons) they generally would tell you they want the abuse to stop. They do not launch into a tirade about wanting him/her shot, hung, or otherwise dismembered. They do not spout off about wanting to ruin them. Many times child victims of all ages lose so much. They lose friends, family, and stability to name a few. And they gain anger, pain, blame, ridicule and shame many times.
    • On the flip side of the last one, what does the person accused have to gain by lying about what happened? If there is more than one person making an accusation, I generally go with the “where there is smoke, there is fire” line of thinking. This is particularly true when the children do not know each other or have no contact with each other. Believe it or not there are not groups of children plotting to ruin the adults in their lives.
    • NO MATTER what age, no matter what clothes they had on, no matter how “bad” they are, no matter what their grades are in school, the child did not ask for it. The adult is ALWAYS responsible for what happens between an adult and child. ALWAYS.
    • Offenders are not the scary people we do not know…they are people we like. They are people we love. They are people in our life. They are people who are respected. They are people we have previously deemed to be safe to be around our children. I know. I know. This one is enough to make us become paranoid and distrustful of every one.
    • Identifying and responding to physical abuse many times is easier for all of us. We see a child who has sustained injuries at the hands of an adult and we pretty much understand that should not happen. Although, I still occasionally run into people who feel like it is a parent’s “right” to do whatever they would like to their child. In fact, I have, in a few instances, had said parent yell that in my face.

    Most non-offending caregivers want to believe their child and want to believe the abuser because what does it say about their character to not believe their child? And WHAT does it say about their character if they allowed an offender into their child’s life. Those offenders are tricky and manipulative. You can do everything right and they still are able to slip into our lives. So what does it really say about them? Does it mean they are a terrible parent? I do not believe so. Does it mean they do not love their child? I do not believe so. Does it mean they are a horrible person? Nope. The really important thing is once they learn of the abuse, what is their response to their child? Do they do whatever needs to be done to keep them safe? Do they do whatever needs to be done to help their child begin healing? Do they engage in that healing process with them? We always hope so.

    When faced with having to make a decision on whether to believe a child or the accused offender, you should never base your decision on what the offender tells you.

    If there is an investigation (and there should be, because if a child tells you something, you should report it so that it can be fully investigated by professionals specially trained to do so, in order to get unbiased opinions and to secure the safety of your child) then talk to the professionals investigating, talk to people who work with offenders in a treatment process, talk to anyone involved who will talk to you. Listen to what they have to say. Listen to what their opinion is. Then carefully make a decision.

    But don’t make a decision out of fear…fear of not having money to pay the bills, fear of being alone, or fear of the unknown. Don’t make a decision that is based on the least painful path.

    Believing a child, keeping them safe, loving them, and giving them support does not sound painful, but it can be. But know that however painful it is for you, it is much more painful for that child. Children are very protective of the people they love. It is painful for them to hurt the non-offending people in their lives. They know that their words will change the world. They know their words can bring the walls in on top of them. They know their words will bring on a domino effect that cannot be reversed.

    My birthday wish this year is that if you are struggling with making a decision of whether to believe or not believe your child…..that you will reach out …..to someone who is unbiased, who has some experience in dealing with this issue, to help you.

    If you reach out to me, know that I will help you, but also know that I will make a report to either law enforcement or child protection. Your child’s health, happiness and future depends on my doing so.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • Hope for eliminating child abuse in this country

    This is a guest post by David Hoppe, Deputy District Attorney

    I was asked to write a blog about hope.

    Hope in dealing with child abuse. A pretty tough topic.

    A couple of decades ago a doctor was conducting an obesity program with a high dropout rate. Surprisingly many of the people who dropped out of the program were successfully losing weight during the program. Even more surprisingly, interviews revealed that a good portion of the dropouts had been victims of childhood sexual abuse. So for these people, obesity had not been their problem, it had been their protective solution. Indeed many of them worried about the change in social and sexual expectations that would occur with major weight loss. Researchers at the Centers for Disease Control saw the importance of these findings and decided to create a large study that would provide proof of the findings.

    Thus, the Adverse Childhood Experiences Study, or ACE Study for short, was born.

    The ACE Study had 18,000 volunteers through the Kaiser Health Plan down in San Diego. These volunteers provided data to the physicians about their adverse childhood experiences in conjunction with health records and their reporting of self-destructive behaviors. The average age of the participants was 57 years old. The two most important findings were that these adverse childhood experiences are more common than previously recognized and have a direct relation to victim health even 50 years later.

    Indeed, they found that 22% of the participants had been sexually abused as children.

    And the higher the score of these adverse experiences, the more likely to engage smoking, overeating, drug using, attempted suicide and so on and so on and so on. So in making a diagnosis of a woman who had been sexually abused as a child you could diagnose her problems like this – childhood sexual abuse resulting in chronic depression resulting in morbid obesity leading to diabetes and hypertension ending with coronary artery disease.

    So what to do with these past victims, these “Prisoners of Childhood,” who may be undiagnosed and untreated for their true affliction? And why should we have hope?

    We have hope because now we have instituted a policy wherein polygraph disclosures during sex offender treatment of pedophiles are being used to contact additional victims and their families directly to let them know that they may have been abused in the past and specifically that we can help. These disclosures are brought to the Multi-Disciplinary Team and trained counselors are then utilized to contact the victims and offer counseling services which can be covered for payment under the Crime Victims Compensation program.

    If we can get even a handful of these victims each year to stop eating themselves to death, to stop using drugs, to leave the prison of their childhood experiences and move forward as empowered victims, it will all be worth it.

    There is hope for past victims.

    As for present victims, the “Prisoners of Fear”, we currently have two prosecutors who specialize in child abuse prosecution along with many well-trained investigators in law enforcement, a vigilant child protective services and the Children’s Advocacy Center with three licensed child abuse therapists on staff. Resource-wise things are looking good and getting better. There is a Jackson County Relief Nursery (the Family Nurturing Center) that promotes the healthy development of children by coordinating a full range of therapeutic and support services to struggling families.

    Specifically, the relief nursery offers therapeutic early childhood classrooms, mental health counseling for parents and children, alcohol and drug recovery support, home visiting, parent education, crisis response and outreach, respite childcare, and employment counseling and support. In 2003 they found that 94% of the families enrolled in the relief nurseries in Oregon did not require additional reports of suspected child abuse or neglect. Furthermore, 94% of the enrolled children remained in the care of their families. Present victims throughout Oregon are using the services of these relief nurseries and hopefully we will take our prisoners of fear and turn them into normal, playful children again.

    In talking about all of the remedial measures we have taken thus far with past and present victims, it begs the question of how do we create a future without child abuse victims?

    It would not matter right now if there were ten more child abuse prosecutors and fifty more child abuse investigators with five additional relief nurseries — that would not make the fundamental change that would be required to get to the root of the problem, preventing future victims.

    We have a will that needs to be harnessed with a way. I think I know the way.

    The best attorney I have ever seen, and a hero of my adulthood, is a skinny, lanky guy with spectacles who looks like a young version of Doogie Howser. Victor Vieth is one of the top child abuse prosecutors in the country. He was formerly the director of the National Center for Prosecution of Child Abuse, and a man with a plan. A plan to largely eliminate future victims of child abuse. His plan is called “Unto the Third Generation.” It is a call to end child abuse in this country within 120 years.

    This is his Battle Plan.

    • First, abused children must be reported into the system and those reports must be of a high quality. Every university must teach students entering professions, where they will be mandated reporters, the skills necessary to perform this task. Mandated reporters in the field must then receive annual training on the detection of abuse and their obligations to report.
    • Second, the system must conduct a competent investigation of every child abuse case that comes to its attention and when abuse is substantiated, appropriate civil and criminal actions must be competently pursued. Children reported into the system must be interviewed by a social worker, police officer, or other professional trained in the art of speaking to children. Child protection workers called on to investigate and repair families damaged by abuse must be competent to perform this task. And prosecutors must be adequately trained to prosecute egregious child abusers.
    • Third, we must teach police officers, social workers, prosecutors and other protection professionals to be community leaders in the prevention of child abuse. This training must begin in college and continue once these professionals are in the field. In their role as community leaders, child protection professionals must enlist the support of the faith based community. Prevention efforts must be locally run and tailored to local needs. And everyone engaged in the campaign against child abuse must understand their role in history and act accordingly.

    There is currently a program in place called Half a Nation that is striving towards meeting some of these training goals by 2020 across the country. It is hoped that by 2040 every child reported into the system would then be interviewed by someone skilled in the art of speaking to children.

    As for the 80 years after that, it is then hoped that there will be a tipping point where we could dramatically reduce if not eliminate child abuse in this country. Tipping points have already occurred twice in my lifetime, in 1989 and 2005, where people stood up together and said “Enough is enough!”

    In conclusion, I would like to quote one of the great men of history by saying “Be not afraid.” It will not happen during my lifetime, and probably not during the lifetimes of my children, but God willing, in 120 years we will have largely eliminated child abuse in this country.

    Let us hope.

    David Hoppe photo
    David Hoppe, Deputy District Attorney