Category: Domestic Violence

  • The Stories the Numbers Do Not Tell

    By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    As another year comes to an end, I am reflecting on things I could have done better, missed opportunities and what changes I will be committed to in the New Year.  I am also looking back over all the good work that the CAC staff, Board, Volunteers, Advisory Council and friends of the CAC have done in the last 12 months.

    • Year to date we have served 716 children who were abused and 443 of their non-offending caregivers.
    • 148 of these young victims suffered more than one type of abuse.
    • We provided 295 children with more than 2000 therapy services.
    • Our Family Support Team provided over 2500 support and advocacy services.
    • Our Forensic Interviewing Team provided 570 forensic interviews.
    • Our Medical Department provided 171 medical services.
    • Our prevention program taught 561 adults to recognize and respond to child sexual abuse.

    When you look at just the numbers it tells a story.   We together were able to make an impact on 1159 people who have suffered trauma as result of child abuse.  The year isn’t even over.  We will see children right up until the last hours of the year.  Our team provided over 5000 life changing services.

    What the numbers do not tell you is a whole other story. 

    They do not tell you of a young lady who sought and received confidential advocacy through our co-located Community Works advocate.  They do not tell you of the mom that received comfort and support when her world began to crumble around her as her child disclosed sexual abuse by his dad.  They do not tell you of the young children who witnessed horrific violent abuse of one parent by another who found safety as a result of their visit to our Intake Department.  They do not tell you about the youth who found relief as her CAC Medical Provider told her that her body was fine and assured her she did not have a sexually transmitted infection.  No, the numbers only tell part of the story.

    Nationally there is a debate as to whether child abuse numbers are decreasing. 

    We are not seeing that at the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County.  I cannot explain why that is.  I have theories but that is all they are; not based in science or fact.  I do know that we continue to have much work to do.  I do know there are many children in our community that continue to seek safety.

    I read the news.  I watch the news every day.  It gets to be pretty depressing.  There is not a day that goes by that I do not read some tragic story of a child who have been chronically neglected.  I read a story yesterday of two children whose mother left them home locked in a room while she traveled.  She had an adult friend check in on them and feed them once a day.  Toddlers.

    It is heart breaking.  I reflect on that as my stress mounts in providing my son the best Christmas ever.  I reflect how many of our community partners are striving to provide the best holidays for the children we serve by providing giving trees and gifts for those young abuse victims we see every day at the CAC.  This time of year always pulls at my heart strings.  Children should go to bed with images of sugar plums parading through their dreams, not with images of someone they love doing something unimaginable.

    What can you do as one person in the universe? 

    • You can take our free Protect Our Children Child Abuse Prevention Training.  It is free.  Call the CAC or sign up here: http://cacjc.org/services/prevention.  It will be some of the most beneficial hours you spend all year.
    • You can provide financial support to one or all of our service programs.  We are good stewards of your donations and make them work to impact the most children possible. Donate Here
    • You can volunteer at the CAC.  We are in need of volunteers in all departments. More Information Here
    • You can make a report when you see something that makes you suspicious a child is being neglected or abused.  You CAN make a difference. More About Making a Report Here

    You only need to choose how you will do it.

  • Helping children after the San Bernardino school shooting

    By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    Today, as I sit behind my desk, I am seeing sunshine out my windows and feeling gratitude for the spring weather that is soon to be here.  I have learned to live in these sweet, private moments because they come too seldom.

    I will admit to spending a few minutes checking my Facebook and checking the news sites to see what I have missed during the day.

    As I read through the headlines, my heart sank.  There, tucked in with all the political stories, was a story that seems to be unfolding on a shooting at a school in San Bernardino, in which an 8-year-old boy lost his life.

    On the surface, it appears to have been a domestic situation that took out an innocent child and hurt another.  The shooter turned the gun on himself. I am assuming, that means he killed himself.  The teacher appears to have been the target and was also shot and killed.

    This man followed all the procedures and protocols.  He signed in at the office.  No one saw a gun.  He then went to his estranged wife’s classroom and opened fire.  The child was not the target the article stated.

    I am feeling such sorrow.  School represents a safe place for so many children; particularly those children who are not safe at home.  School is a refuge.  Again, we are reminded, that no place feels safe.

    I am, in addition to an advocate for children, a mom.  The news will have ended well before I make it home tonight.  I will not spend any time watching reports play over and over tonight, as all the major news stations cover the story.

    I will, however, go into my son’s room, climb into the top bunk with him and hold him as close to me as I can.  I will go in several times throughout the night and check on him.  I will stand in the dark and listen to him breath.  I will run my fingers through his hair.  We all feel vulnerable again.

    I will be thankful that he is still with me.  I will be reminded not to take that for granted.  I will brace for the conversation that needs to happen when he asks questions.  No matter how I try to shield him, he always seems to know what is happening.

    My husband I will go into screening mode.  We will not watch the news with James in the room or where he can hear it.  We will reassure him as he asks about his own safety at school and at home.  We will listen to his concerns and gauge his anxieties by tuning into his behavior.  We will spend as much time hugging, cuddling, and reassuring as we can.

    I sat down to write my child abuse prevention/awareness month blog tonight.  But it will have to wait one more day.

    I have a favor to ask of you.

    If you have children in your life – your own or through family, friends, or through your work – make sure to spend some time listening to them.  Listen to their words.  Listen to their actions and behaviors.  Listen to their silence.  If they hear about this tragedy and I suspect they will, spend some time restoring their emotional safety.

    Do not tell them not to worry about it.  They will worry in spite of your command.  Help them to understand their feelings instead of dismissing them.  If you feel ill-equipped to have these conversations, find someone in the child’s life that can—perhaps a teacher, counselor, or church leader.

    Maybe I am over reacting.  Maybe it will not be on the news for the next two weeks non-stop.

    Even that brings its own concerns.  If this moves on quickly, then on a national level we are not having the right conversations.  Domestic violence happens.  School shootings happen.