Category: Child Abuse Victims

The Stories the Numbers Do Not Tell
By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

As another year comes to an end, I am reflecting on things I could have done better, missed opportunities and what changes I will be committed to in the New Year. I am also looking back over all the good work that the CAC staff, Board, Volunteers, Advisory Council and friends of the CAC have done in the last 12 months.
- Year to date we have served 716 children who were abused and 443 of their non-offending caregivers.
- 148 of these young victims suffered more than one type of abuse.
- We provided 295 children with more than 2000 therapy services.
- Our Family Support Team provided over 2500 support and advocacy services.
- Our Forensic Interviewing Team provided 570 forensic interviews.
- Our Medical Department provided 171 medical services.
- Our prevention program taught 561 adults to recognize and respond to child sexual abuse.
When you look at just the numbers it tells a story. We together were able to make an impact on 1159 people who have suffered trauma as result of child abuse. The year isn’t even over. We will see children right up until the last hours of the year. Our team provided over 5000 life changing services.

What the numbers do not tell you is a whole other story.

They do not tell you of a young lady who sought and received confidential advocacy through our co-located Community Works advocate. They do not tell you of the mom that received comfort and support when her world began to crumble around her as her child disclosed sexual abuse by his dad. They do not tell you of the young children who witnessed horrific violent abuse of one parent by another who found safety as a result of their visit to our Intake Department. They do not tell you about the youth who found relief as her CAC Medical Provider told her that her body was fine and assured her she did not have a sexually transmitted infection. No, the numbers only tell part of the story.

Nationally there is a debate as to whether child abuse numbers are decreasing.

We are not seeing that at the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County. I cannot explain why that is. I have theories but that is all they are; not based in science or fact. I do know that we continue to have much work to do. I do know there are many children in our community that continue to seek safety.

I read the news. I watch the news every day. It gets to be pretty depressing. There is not a day that goes by that I do not read some tragic story of a child who have been chronically neglected. I read a story yesterday of two children whose mother left them home locked in a room while she traveled. She had an adult friend check in on them and feed them once a day. Toddlers.

It is heart breaking. I reflect on that as my stress mounts in providing my son the best Christmas ever. I reflect how many of our community partners are striving to provide the best holidays for the children we serve by providing giving trees and gifts for those young abuse victims we see every day at the CAC. This time of year always pulls at my heart strings. Children should go to bed with images of sugar plums parading through their dreams, not with images of someone they love doing something unimaginable.

What can you do as one person in the universe?
- You can take our free Protect Our Children Child Abuse Prevention Training. It is free. Call the CAC or sign up here: http://cacjc.org/services/prevention. It will be some of the most beneficial hours you spend all year.
- You can provide financial support to one or all of our service programs. We are good stewards of your donations and make them work to impact the most children possible. Donate Here
- You can volunteer at the CAC. We are in need of volunteers in all departments. More Information Here
- You can make a report when you see something that makes you suspicious a child is being neglected or abused. You CAN make a difference. More About Making a Report Here
You only need to choose how you will do it.
One Thing You Can Do That Matters
By Ginny Sagal, Communication & Outreach Coordinator for the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

You can’t read a newspaper or turn on a television without hearing about child sexual abuse.

Do not feel helpless.

There is one thing you can do that matters in addressing child sexual abuse. You can take a child abuse prevention training through the Children’s Advocacy Center Protect Our Children Project.

When I read and hear these horrible stories, I think how wonderful it would be if all parents and caregivers knew how to recognize and respond to child sexual abuse.

The Protect Our Children training guides you through 5 steps to protecting children from sexual abuse.

The 5 Steps are:
1. Learn the Facts: 1 in 10 children are sexually abused before the age of 18. Over 90% of them know their abuser. There is no more of this stranger danger thing. We need to go beyond that.
2. Minimize the Opportunity: Decrease the risk of abuse by eliminating one on one situations.
3. Talk About It: Have age appropriate, open conversations about our bodies, sex and boundaries. I think of the gymnast kids who were abused by their doctor or coach that the families had trusted.
4. Recognize the signs: Why is this person giving gifts to my child? Why is this person always with the kids when he or she should be with the adults when we are at a party?
5. React Responsibly: How you reacts matters. Go with your gut feeling!
The Protect Our Children Project uses the Stewards of Children curriculum, developed by Darkness to Light.

We believe that when adults take the class they recognized that it is all our responsibility to protect children.

We believe that adults who take the class decrease the risk of the children in their life being sexually abused.

The fact is that 99% of participants who take the training would recommend this training to a friend, family member or co-worker. (Study done by the University of Oregon Center for Prevention of Abuse and Neglect.)

The Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County has partnered with The Ford Family Foundation to offer this training to anyone in Jackson County for FREE.

Just think, in 2 to 3 short hours you can decrease the risk that a child in your life will be sexually abused. THAT IS BIG!!!

Do one thing that Matters for the kids and teens in your life. Take a Protect our Children training.

To register for a training for yourself or your group, business or organization go to: http://cacjc.org/services/prevention or call Leah Howell, Protect Our Children Training Coordinator, at 541-734-5437 ext. 1013

Ginny Sagal
“My family survived” because of the CAC

This is a speech by Lori Phillips

The year was 1993. My oldest daughter, Jennifer, came to me one evening and disclosed a horrific truth.

Her father had sexually molested her.

She was 11 years old that year. The specific abuse had taken place many years before. She had blocked it out, only to remember on a cold and windy October afternoon.

I believed her, but I didn’t want to believe that the one person I trusted most with her care, could commit such a vile act and hurt my child so deeply. I contacted the authorities. And I waited.

Once she disclosed her abuse, the floodgates opened. Her memory, her pain began to spill over, threatening to drown us all. I took to my journal, and wrote:

“We are hiding out at Mom’s, partially because I need the support. My sweet beautiful child has been hurt so deeply. The days pass and more is disclosed. I want to help her, to take it all away. I want to see him suffer. Death is too easy. How can anyone do this to an innocent child? Of course, he has taken that from her.”

The next few weeks were wrought with anxiety and tension. Never sure what would be around the next corner. Sometimes the days seem so endless. I want so much to help my baby girl, but I don’t know how. I see a facade during the day, but in the evening when we are alone, I see the raw ugly truth.

“I watch as she plucks out her eyelashes and brows. I place a pillow under her head as she bangs it against the hard floor. I want to scream, cry and vent my anger. I grieve for what is lost, for the innocence that was taken from her. She can never go back, will never have a normal childhood or adolescence. I’m angry, sad and frightened. How am I to deal with all of this?”

Navigating the legal system is confusing and frightening to most of us. It is especially frightening to a mother trying to protect her child from further harm, all the while dealing with the emotional hurricane that had laid waste to our lives.

The Task Force was a safe port in the storm directing us to the shelter of the CAC. Feeling confused, lost and alone, I placed my broken family in the capable hands of the CAC staff.

Jane welcomed us with warm open arms and provided the knowledge and support that we so desperately needed. It was here we started our journey of healing. My questions were answered as the entire staff held us up through each step on the road to recovery – the road that takes each of us from being a victim, to that of a survivor.

I became active in a parent’s support group at the Center. There I gained essential knowledge of the process we were to experience, from the Grand Jury to the courtroom and beyond. It was this amazing group, run by the CAC staff, that shared with me valuable insight into the world of not only the perpetrator, but the victim as well.

I came to understand how it happened without my knowledge, and how to help my daughter.

Therapy is a wonderful tool, and with a non-offending parent involvement, the path to healing can begin. It really does take a village to raise a child.

I recently had the honor to tour the expanded facility of the CAC. I was excited to view all the new opportunities the center has to help those who pass through the doors. Yet it saddens me to realize there is still a need, and that there always will be. Child sexual abuse has always been present in our communities, hiding in the threads of secrecy.

We need the CAC to help those who have been abused, their families and to educate those that have not.

I am honored to tell my story. My family supports me now, as the CAC did so many years ago. They were my lifeline, my hope that someday I could say with conviction, “My family survived.”

I am so grateful to the CAC and all its supporters, volunteers, staff, and sponsors. Because of them, my family is healthy and whole. They made the difference in our lives.
Putting kids back together starts at the CAC

Bylle McCulley

This post is from a speech by foster parent, Bylle McCulley

I would like to share with you my personal experiences while receiving the services of the Children’s Advocacy Center.

10 years ago, my husband and I became foster parents here in Jackson County and we received children on an emergency placement.

Usually, our first stop was the CAC.

I was awe struck at how kind, gentle, and supportive the staff was, not only to the child, but also to me as the foster parent.

When I held a little girl’s hand while she was being examined, it required all the strength I could possible muster to say, “You can trust me. I’m not going to leave you.” Those reassurances had an impact, not only on the child, but also on me as a person.

I know from experience that putting kids back together again starts at the CAC.

We were able to adopt a special needs child from the foster care system. He came to us when he was 17 months-old and he’s now 12. During our 6-year journey, we received help first from the Children’s Advocacy Center, then Family Nurturing Center, Community Family Court, Jackson County Mental Health, and the Deaf and Hard of Hearing Program. I will always be grateful for the guidance and direction they provided to my family during this stressful time.

The most effective response to abuse and neglect requires a collaborative approach, which includes: teachers, first responders, law enforcement, medical, Community Family Court, attorneys, judges, CASA, elected officials, foster parents, the faith community and all the community partners who so generously come along beside us.

The process starts with the CAC to identify, investigate and provide treatment.

Please donate to the Children’s Advocacy Center now and don’t put it off. We either pay now or we pay more later. It will cost more later in mental health issues, chronic diseases and possible even the involvement of the criminal justice system. Join us. We we are always looking for community partners to plant a seed of healing for the abused children and teens of our community.
“Jayden” benefits from the Caring for Kids Campaign

By Theresa Hart, Development Director for the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

In March, we created three stories of children who have received services in our Medical Department for our Caring for Kids Campaign. These stories were based on real life experiences of children who had received services in our Medical Department. The details of their experiences were altered to protect their identities.

“Jayden’s” story touched me very deeply.

“Jayden” suffered sexual abuse by her mother’s boyfriend. She and her mother were brought to the Children’s Advocacy Center after her mother found her 13-year-old daughter inconsolable upon her return home.

After disclosing the abuse at the Center, Jayden was brought to our Medical Department where she received a head to toe evaluation. Additionally, our in-house pediatrician administered a test for sexually transmitted infections and a pregnancy test. When she left the Center that day, Jayden carried with her a quilt and the assurance that she was healthy and that her body would be okay. Jayden is receiving therapy at the Center and her mother is in treatment for substance abuse.

Jayden was fortunate to have come to the Children’s Advocacy Center where she could receive our specialized medical services, tell the story of her abuse and receive therapy in one child-focused center.

There are many children who have experienced abuse and neglect in the Rogue Valley. The CAC is the only place of its kind In Jackson County. Last year, Jayden was the recipient of one of the more than 200 medical services performed by our Medical Department.

Jayden suffered the kind of abuse we don’t like to talk about.

But here’s the thing, child abuse is a community problem, and it requires a community response. CAC’s partners were involved throughout her story, from law enforcement, DHS, community members, businesses, and other local organizations. The quilt Jayden took home was made by a local church group.

Community members and businesses can partner with us during the Caring for Kids Campaign to support our Medical Department services. These donations go to pay medical staff salaries, equipment, and supplies.

We are recruiting a nurse practitioner to perform additional medical evaluations and services to extend our Medical Department hours to 40 per week. Now more than ever we need community partnerships and support to help us continue our work with abused children.

There’s still time to partner with us during the Caring for Kids campaign. The deadline to make a donation is June 30. To make a difference in a life of other child victims, send your donation to 816 W. 10th Street, Medford, OR 97501.

Thank you.

Theresa Hart
Child Abuse Case Plays Out on the National Stage

By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of The Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

It is not often that a child abuse case plays out on the national stage. However, last week, we had one play out. The young lady who was kidnapped by her teacher was found and rescued.

Please note the language used here. Kidnapped. Rescued. Keep those words in your mind as you read the rest of this blog post.

To fill in those who have not tuned into this story, a 15 year old girl was kidnapped by teacher, Tad Cummings. They were on the run for about a month before the FBI located them in Siskiyou County at a remote cabin.

Since she was found, I have been asked many times about what a parent can do to prevent this from happening — what the signs are to look for, and I have been questioned about whether she was in a relationship or was she really kidnapped.

I want to start off by saying that anything that happens between a child and an adult — the adult is responsible.

There is a power differential between a child and an adult. The adult always holds power. This power differential is even greater when that adult is a teacher or a person in a position of authority or trust. In some regards, it is the same power and control that you hear about in domestic violence. The offender has all the power and control. The victim has none. What happens is similar to what happens when someone is “gaslighting”. The victim’s reality is whatever the offender tells her it is. The offender is able to accomplish this through “grooming” behaviors. It does not happen overnight. There is a process.

Of course, here is where I insert the disclaimer. I don’t have personal knowledge of what has happened in this case. I am basing my opinions on what information is out in the news, which may or may not be accurate. Also, he is innocent until proven guilty. And, of course, she is not accused of anything–so blameless.

Let’s look at what has been reported. The victim’s sister says that she is vulnerable because she had been the victim of bullying. His sister says he was trying to keep her safe. She was going to run away and so he needed to go with her so she wouldn’t be alone.

He packed medication for erectile dysfunction, handguns and $4,500 he had just received through a loan. He told his wife he needed to go to Virginia to clear his head. Now right off the bat I need to clarify what I see as thinking errors (others would call it the things we tell ourselves to convince ourselves and others that what we are doing is actually a noble deed or something that we had no control over—either is a good way to look at it.) Google “sex offender thinking errors” for a better description.

1) If a teen is going to run away, an adult male’s first response is not to run away with her. A rational person would contact the child’s parent, another school official, or perhaps — if the school has one — a school resource officer.

2) Erectile dysfunction medication is not for a life threatening condition (as in your health would not be in jeopardy if you do not take them) and is useless in keeping teenage girls safe.

3) Married adult men do not lie to their wives about their intentions if they are not improper. I am sure there are many, many more of these, but I just want to give you a few to think about as you are deciding what your thoughts and opinions are about this case.

Let’s move on to whether or not the victim is to blame and what exactly is her crime.

She was vulnerable because of being bullied. She trusted an adult who made her feel special. When you are bullied, you begin to experience low self-esteem and do not feel you have value. As a 15-year-old bullied girl, it would be very uplifting to know that an adult male found value in you. If you are good at grooming, you will be able to convince said teen that not only do you think they have value, but that you are the best thing that has ever happened in their life.

I also read that there was a restraining order granted that would prohibit the victim’s mom from having contact with her. Another thing that victim did wrong was to have a mother who had been physically abusive in the past and to have a court find that it would be detrimental for the victim to have contact with her mother at this time.

All sarcasm aside. Offenders target children who have low self-esteem, have disrupted or strained relationships with one or both parents and who may have strained or non-existent peer relationships. It is so much easier to manipulate the victim if they do not have open communication with anyone outside the offender. And yes, he is an alleged offender. As she is a child, she is unable to consent to a relationship with an adult–that is what the law says. The age of consent in Tennessee is 18, in Oklahoma it is 16 and in California it is 18—according to my online research. Basically, as a 15-year-old in all three states that we know he took her to, she was unable to consent to having a sexual relationship with the alleged offender.

No matter whether it turns out that the two of them had any sexual contact, it was illegal. AND the ADULT is responsible. So yes, he is an alleged sex offender. Yes. She is a victim of child sexual assault or whatever term those state’s statutes use for that event. NO! She is not to blame.

The conversation needs to be changed to help those out there who may be listening who have not yet found safety—who have not yet reported.

If you or those around you are blaming the child…other children who may be in similar situations will not report. It isn’t safe. The conversation needs to shift from victim blaming, to what is it we all can do to help create a safe environment for children to report and find safety and heal.

The conversation needs to change from what can parents look for if their child is at risk, to how can a parent be engaged throughout a child’s life. We know that nurturing needs to begin early in life. We know that safety needs should be met early in life. The best way to reduce the risk that your child will become a victim is to have dinner as a family, to keep communication open, to establish early on that — no matter what your child tells you – you will always love them, keep them safe, advocate for them — be there for them.

We know that starting these conversations during the teen years is not as effective as starting them when they are 3 or younger. The best way to safeguard your child against sexual abuse is to be present in their life…know who their friends are…who their friend’s parents are… who their teachers are and to model healthy and appropriate relationships for your child.

Is it too late to start if your child is already a teen? No way! But own up to the fact that you are starting the conversation late. Your child will appreciate the fact that you realize this. Follow through…if you tell them they can tell you anything…then be open and let them tell you anything and try to not respond with anger, disappointment, or judgment.

Finally, put all would-be offenders on notice that you are watching.

If an adult is spending too much alone time with your child…ask them why and put a stop to it. If someone is crossing boundaries that you recognize should not be crossed…call them out on it. If you haven’t met the people your child is hanging out with or if they are always “meeting” them places instead of letting you get to know their friends…put a stop to it.

Grooming is a real thing.

Learn about it. Take a class. The CAC teaches adults to recognize and respond to sexual abuse. Enroll in a Protect Our Children class by visiting our website at http://cacjc.org/services/prevention/
Does child abuse happen in our state? In Jackson County?
By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

April is child abuse prevention/awareness month. This is my traditional April Blog recognizing and focusing on the problem of child abuse.

I was doing a little research to see what was going on in the world of child abuse. I found a page on the internet that is nothing but stories of child abuse. They are all true. They are all recent. They are all heartbreaking.

One tells of a child whose father found out she was having sex and so, as punishment, forced her to become a prostitute at a truck stop. There are stories of child fatalities; there are stories of parents beating their children. It is quite disturbing. It is a true crime website. I was simply looking for some compelling story to blog about and found a whole site. All from 2017.

Some will say that those horrible things do not happen in Oregon. Those things happen in other countries or other parts of this country. Sadly, this is not accurate.

There were 964 children abused in Jackson County in 2016. In the state of Oregon, there were 27 child abuse fatalities. 21 of those were perpetrated by a parent or parent figure. All 27 of the children who died knew their abuser. We call it child abuse fatalities, and as awful as that sounds, it does not sound as awful as murder. We look for words that are softer to describe these heinous acts.

Child abuse happens in Oregon. Child abuse happens in Jackson County.

The foster parent shortage that has been reported on is not just in other parts of the state. It is here in our county as well.

This is not someone else’s problem. It is ours. The problem has been long established. What isn’t as clear, is the solution.

How do we make a meaningful impact? Where is the catchy child abuse slogan? You know…like the “War on Drugs” or “No Child Left Behind”. Where is the rally cry to help keep kids safe from the dangers that lurk within their own homes?

People who work in the field of child abuse; particularly those who work in prevention, joke about “working themselves out of a job” and “putting the CAC out of business”. It is a good goal. But where is the rally cry? These of course are rhetorical questions. Unless you have an actual answer. Then I am all ears!

There are things that you can do all year long…..long after April has ended. You can:
- Find an agency that helps to protect children and support them in any way you can. If you can’t donate money, then donate time and talent. Nonprofit agencies are quite adept at leveraging whatever your gift is, with other gifts, to create the biggest impact.
- If you suspect abuse, make a report–even if it feels uncomfortable or even if you are unsure. The professionals will figure it out. You don’t have to figure it out.
- Not sure what abuse looks like? Take a training on recognizing abuse. The CAC of Jackson County offers several opportunities, either through our Protect Our Children program or through other offerings such as Responding to Allegations of Child Maltreatment offered this May. Register here: https://tinyurl.com/kwm6qx5
- Do you see a mom or a dad struggling? Offer to help.
- Let your legislative representatives know that children and child abuse is a priority for you and you want it to be their priority as well—both at the state and federal level.
- You can change the conversation from “Why didn’t she tell?” to “Why did he do that?”
- You can become a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) and learn how to advocate for children in the foster care system. We have hundreds of children on a waiting list right now who need an advocate.
- You can teach your children, your grandchildren, your nieces and nephews, your neighbor’s child — all the children in your life — who is allowed to touch what part of their bodies and under what circumstance.
- You can tell the adults in your life that your child is off limits by being present, by asking the right questions, and by staying in tuned and attentive to your child. If an offender knows you are watching and vigilant, it makes your child less accessible to them.
You can STOP saying Not My Child; Not My Problem.
Change for Children: Our 3 Agency Collaborative Brainchild
By Jennifer Mylenek, Executive Director of CASA of Jackson and Josephine Counties

The month of April represents Child Abuse Awareness, which helps shine a spotlight on the tragic circumstances of hundreds of thousands of abused and/or neglected children in the U.S. It is also a month in which I’m honored to be a part of a rich collaborative of child-serving agencies that have joined together to raise awareness and funds to support our strong linkage of services provided to abused children in Jackson County.

The Children’s Advocacy Center, CASA of Jackson County, and The Family Nurturing Center are three cornerstone non-profit agencies that support the needs of marginalized, abused, and/or neglected children in various ways with the common goal of ensuring every child can be safe from harm, thrive in a stable/loving home, have equal educational opportunities, and heal from abuse.

The three agencies are led by strong and experienced Executive Directors who realized that together, we can do much more for our children.

Working across agencies has always been our practice when we have shared child clients, but April brought us together in a bigger way. The subject of child abuse awareness is challenging to promote. Most people would rather turn away than accept that it is going on in our county in an epidemic-like fashion.

We knew we could raise more awareness with the larger footprint of our three agencies shining a coordinated light.

Change for Children was our brainchild and began last April in a small way. Today we have seen a significant surge in community support and with our combined staff pitching in to raise the flag on child abuse, much is getting done. Not to mention we found we all work really well together!

I think you’ll agree that recognizing there’s a problem is the first step toward solving the problem, but stepping in to be part of the solution will lift your spirits to new heights, I guarantee it.
- You can help by simply eating out at the establishments supporting us below
- You can volunteer at one or more of our three agencies: CAC, CASA, Family Nurturing Center
- You can sign up for the PROTECT OUR CHILDREN training to learn how to prevent child abuse
- You can look into becoming a foster parent
- You can thank our thoughtful sponsors by supporting their businesses
- You can text C4C to 71777 to make a donation which will be shared by our three agencies
If you’re already helping a child or children in some way, thank you.

There is no greater gift than to see a smile on a child’s face or to know you made a positive difference in their life.
How reporting abuse saved a boy’s life

By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

I worry that children who face trauma inflicted on them by their parent or trusted adult might never become inspired, but stay defeated.

When I was a case worker, I would often wonder why some children who suffer enormous abuse go on and accomplish great things and others spiral into self-destruction or destruction of others. If you lined up two case records next to each other…they may read the same, but have very different outcomes for the children.

I once asked one of the young people I worked with, who not only survived in the aftermath of his abuse — but thrived, why was it that he did so well when others in similar circumstances did not.

I really didn’t expect an answer. It was a deep discussion we were having over pizza after his 8^th grade graduation. He looked at me shrugged and didn’t answer at first. I had attended the ceremony and we were out celebrating his accomplishment. They had sung a song at their graduation. Maybe some of you remember this song, “I Believe I Can Fly”. It was corny. It was expected. It was what you did at eighth grade graduation ceremonies.

He fidgeted a bit. He dropped his eyes. I smiled at him in the awkwardness. I went on to tell him I knew he was going to do great things. I didn’t mean to put him on the spot. I let him know I just wanted to know what could be different for those kids who aren’t doing okay, who are in similar situations. I apologized for making him feel uncomfortable.

He slowly began to talk and I got very quiet and listened intently. He told me that he didn’t feel like he was doing okay. He was surviving. He was focused on getting through. He told me he felt like a fake because, when he sang with his classmates, he didn’t believe he could fly.

I actually fought back my tears in order to keep this conversation with this young man going without distracting him with my own feelings…in my head questioning why I ever started this conversation. We sat in silence a little longer eating pizza. He looked at me and he said he thought the difference…the thing that made him different was that someone thought he was worth it. I smiled. I actually for a moment thought he was talking about me. I thought he was talking about that I thought he was worth it. I was young and still full of ego.

He went on to explain that whoever called in his abuse saved his life.

If they didn’t save him from being beaten to death, they surely saved him from ending his life prematurely. He told me he had no idea who it was. He talked about how if someone took the time to save him, then he felt like there must have been something worth saving. The only way he knew to repay that debt was to move on and do something with his life. He said he only had two choices: to begin to believe in himself or to totally come undone.

We left that pizza parlor with the radio blasting, singing “I Believe I Can Fly” at the top of our lungs. I am sure that was a sight to see and probably worse to hear.

I took him back to his foster home. Not long after that, I think he went to live with a relative. I moved on to another case and another child, but not before reading through his file to see who had made the report.

It was a teacher.

It was a teacher that I had met that day at the graduation. According to the report, the teacher had actually made two other reports that didn’t get assigned, before the final concern that led to this child being removed.

I reached out to that teacher to thank her for making the report. I wanted her to know that her phone call saved a life. While talking to her on the phone, she burst into tears. She asked me which child I was talking about. She had made a dozen calls dealing with dozens of children during the school year.

I told her I had made a mistake. She had saved a dozen lives.

I could hear her releasing her breath very slow and could hear a small sob on the other end of the line. She quietly said thank you and then went on to relate a story of how a colleague always tried to talk her out of making those calls. The argument was always that kids want to stay with their parents, kids won’t talk anyway, you don’t want to ruin a life by making a mistake…all the familiar reasons.

I encouraged her to always make that calls. To make it because her students mattered. To make the call because abuse victims suffer in silence and need someone to stand up on their behalf. To make that call because they need to know they are worth the ten minutes it might take to make a report.

What is the take away?

As April’s Child Abuse Awareness/Prevention month draws near — remember that every child counts.

Remember that your call may save a life. If you suspect abuse report it.

Every child is worth it.
Ensure your child/teen is safe in the care of a youth organization

By Leah Howell, Protect Our Children Training Coordinator

Recent headlines are almost unbelievable. Another employee from a youth serving organization has been accused of making sexual advances toward a teen.

It makes us wonder how this person has been allowed to join the ranks of a reputable organization. We assume that the employment screening that an organization does, in adhering to national standards, will keep our children and teens safe. So why does it keep failing? If these measures are, in fact, effective how do these abusive acts toward children and teens keep happening in our organizations?

As most of us are aware, organizations are made up of humans. Humans who at times have poor judgement, make mistakes, and overlook problems. Pressure from others, funding difficulties, or the urgent needs of the population served may compel a leader in an organization to approve arrangements that risk the safety of the children and teens in their care. These actions are not taken out of malicious intent, but are enacted based on difficulties in some area of the organization that cause it to stray from what is ideal.

As clients and customers of these organization’s services, you are in a position to influence these decisions. You have the power to demand that the organization’s policies ensure the safety of your child or teen, no matter what challenges they face.

Here are some suggestions about how to ensure your child/teen is safe in the care of an organization:

Step One: Get Educated– When you become educated in what should be expected of an organization who cares for your child/teen, you will know what to ask and what to look for while interacting with the organization. Protect Our Children Stewards of Children training is a free, 3 hour training that informs adults about healthy policies in organizations as it relates to child-adult interactions. We offer this training each month at the Medford Library. In this training you will also receive a workbook with many resources that spell out exactly how an organization should conduct themselves.

Step Two: Observe and Ask– After you have educated yourself, it is time to start observing what is going on in the organization. For instance, do any red flags go up when you drop in for a visit? This is the time when you start asking the organization really important questions, “What are the circumstances, if any, when an adult may be one on one with a child?,” “What are your screening practices in hiring new employees?”, “Do you ever make exceptions to your stated policies?” ,”Do you provide a Code of Conduct for employees and volunteers that outlines what is and is not acceptable while working with children?” These questions, and others highlighted in the Protect Our Children Stewards of Children training, will go a long way in bringing attention to the situations that would be most dangerous for your child. It also makes the organization aware that you are paying attention, and will be holding them accountable to their responses.

Step Three: Evaluate– Now it is time to evaluate whether the organization is responsive and adhering to the standards that increase the safety of your child/teen, or whether they are unnecessarily exposing your child to unsafe situations and people. If you are dissatisfied with their current policies- communicate that to the leadership. Let them know that the Protect Our Children Stewards of Children training can be brought to their site, and is offered free of charge. We can also assist them in developing safer policies, and provide resources to help them navigate some of the challenges they may face in enacting them.

Your child’s safety depends on your awareness and action. We can make our community safer for our children, but it takes a proactive effort.

Leah Howell