The Children's Advocacy Center of Jackson County

Category: Art

  • A Late Mother’s Day Salute

    A Late Mother’s Day Salute

     

    By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    I am late with my Mother’s Day blog posting this year. It seems that along with all of you, it is taking me longer to get things done because my brain is filled with all things COVID-19.

    I actually think a day to honor our maternal influences is not enough…we should have at least a week.

    So, with that thought in mind, here is my Mother’s Day blog.

    This year, I believe more than any other year for me, has highlighted the many, many roles our Mothers fill for our children and in this world. For me as a mom, the last two months have proved to be more challenging than when my child was a newborn. In those first few months of his life, I remember being sleep deprived and tired. I remember being scared that I was not doing “it” right. I remember a lot of private tears in the shower.

    Well, in the last two months I have spent a lot of sleepless nights in worry. I have questioned whether I was doing “this” right.

    There have been more tears in the shower as I tried to muster up enough steam to fulfill all the roles that I had shared with my “Mommy Tribe”, his teacher, and my son’s coaches. I have worried about my productivity at work. I have worried about whether I am giving enough to my child, to those I work with, to those in the community that I work with, and to the families and children the Children’s Advocacy Center serves.

    Somewhere in those tears, I decided to give myself some grace. Instead of trying to be perfect, I lowered some expectations. For me the bar was set at “Do no harm”.

    Now I recognize that seems pretty low. But when I set it that low for myself, I actually felt an energy surge. I was able to do more education opportunities for my son than his school was able. I was able to create some memories with my son and my family that I hope will bring smiles for a few years to come. I focused on making sure my son’s mental health was not being compromised by isolation.

    What does all that look like? Well, it looks like camping in the yard. It looks like cool crafts. It looks like giving my child purpose by increasing some of his chores. It looks like hiking or taking long walks through our neighborhood. It looks like a chalk drawing on our front driveway. It looks like baking and cooking together. It looks like watching and discussing movies together to find hidden life lessons. It looks like practicing social skills. It looks like relaxing some of the rules when we can. It looks like creating structure and routine around distance learning for school and chores.

    Most of the moms I know have become teachers, guidance counselors, and coaches in addition to their regular roles of meal-planner, referee, household manager, and nurturer. Some of us have added working from home, dog walker, and home sanitizer. And having to do so in isolation.

    What can we do for ourselves? To keep us moms going? My mommy tribe has upped our text game. We check in on each other. We social distance in the driveway. We social distance in a parking lot. We remind each other to take care of ourselves. We plan for when we can bring our kids and our families back together for our regular gatherings. We give each other grace. We support each other as we all do what is right for our families, with no judgment when someone else does it differently.

    For some families, there is a lot of added stress. For some children, food insecurities become even more prominent in their life as they miss the breakfasts and lunches provided to them at school. For some moms, stress is mounting as they try to figure out how to manage without an income, without knowing what will happen after the “goodwill” brought to us in the form of a stimulus check, mortgage payments put on hold, or rent delayed.

    I am worried about children who were not safe before the pandemic. I am worried about children who have been put in unsafe situations because of the pandemic. I am worried about the Mommas feeling like they are failing at this homeschooling, stay at home, keep their family healthy with little to no resources nightmare that has become our hopefully short-term reality. I also know that, if experience is any indication, we will all come together through this and help those who need our help. If you fall into one of the above-mentioned worries….please ask for help. Jackson County is full of good people who want to do “good” and help you.

    This has been a “Mother’s Day” to remember. What will you remember?

    I hope you remember that it is okay to feel sad. It is okay to need help. I hope you remember to extend yourself some grace as being a Mom is hard, but it is really hard during a pandemic. I hope you remember it is okay to love being home with no outside influences. It is okay to feel whatever you are feeling. I hope that you remember that perfection is not attainable and that your child does not care about “perfect”.

    It is okay to ask for “do-overs” – I do that all the time. Remember that really, at this time, it is okay to use up all of our energy on being okay and making sure our kids are okay. There is no one way to do this parenting in isolation thing. We don’t have a reference for parenting like this.

    We have not been here before.

    Remember your child will not remember this time the same way you might. They may remember this time as the time that you were the family hero keeping everything moving forward with very few resources.

  • Art and the Mother’s Touch

    By Michelle Wilson, Development Director for The Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    In honor of what would be my mom’s birthday this month, I am sharing a post I wrote three years ago on healing and the mother’s touch.   This could have been written now, with the references to the stories shared at this center and the healing that occurs here.  We now offer art workshops through our Building Bridges project and our therapists continue to offer a variety of types of creative therapies for hundreds of kids and teens each year.

    I am looking at a picture of my mom a few years ago on a trip to visit my sister in Colorado.  Beautiful flowers surround her and she has a relaxed smile on her face.

    I am smiling back at her this morning.

    My mother and the whole state of motherhood have been on my mind a lot this week.  I read a story the other day about a premature newborn who was pronounced dead, then was put on his mother’s chest and started breathing.  He is now 2 years old and thriving.

    A mother’s touch is pretty powerful stuff.

    My mom passed away a few months ago.  I was blessed to be able to spend the last several weeks of her life with her, along with other siblings.  During that time we talked a lot, when she wasn’t too tired, about the years we had all spent together and the years when life had us in different places around the country.  I have lived far away since I graduated from college and always hoped I wouldn’t regret living so far from my mom once she passed away.

    I have found, though, that I feel as if she and I were just as close as she was to my siblings living near her.  We talked on the phone a few times a week and saw each other at least once a year.  Our relationship was quiet, subtle, almost invisible because it was largely through phone contact.  But it was powerful, like the touch of that mama whose love helped her newborn breathe for the first time.

    It’s kind of like art, I realize, and the process of creating it.  The product may be powerful, with its own energy surrounding it, even if the process of creating it was invisible to the viewer.

    I think of Mom all the time now, dream about her.  Her touch is still with me, subtle and powerful, reminding me to breathe every day and take in all that is around me.  She invites me every day to choose life above everything and to enjoy every minute, every gift.  At night when I put my son to sleep, we say goodnight to her and to the angels.  I hug him very closely, wanting my touch to stay with him even when I’m not with him.

    This week was a difficult one at the Children’s Advocacy Center.  We heard too many stories of kids who have been hurt, most by family or extended family members.  We talk to each other about how it affects us, all of these stories.  And we talk about what we do to handle the stress and sadness of our work.

    The thing that works, it seems, is staying connected – to life, to what we love, to the gentle touches of the people around us.  I think of Mom to help me through.  I decide every morning to choose life and gratitude, no matter what is happening.  Her touch sustains me still.

    So many of the kids and teens who come to us don’t have this kind of memory of gentle, loving touch.  Most have memories of touch that harmed them.  In the mentoring program and in therapy and in all of our interactions with them we try to give them something of what they missed.  Something of the mother’s touch.

    Through the art program we offer them a way to choose life in the face of sadness and despair.  They create works that reflect their lives and their hopes.  Through the touch of the brush to the canvas, they can experience something they may never have had.  Through the kind words and support of their mentors and those who see their works, we hope they can begin to have memories that will sustain them, much like the memory of my mother’s voice sustains me.

    I choose to believe that we can do this, help them create an internal voice and memory that will help them remember to breathe when life gets difficult.

    I believe the mother’s touch is always there, something we can pass on to each other when needed, an invisible life force with a tangible energy all its own.

    We can do it through kind words, art, anything that helps to create the energy that can sustain us, no matter what we face.

  • Summer Vacations, Kids, and Creativity

    By Michelle Wilson

    When school gets out for summer, families often find themselves needing to plan for children being home for a few months. When I was growing up, I spent most summers at home with my mom doing her usual activities and with my siblings, one younger and four older. We only had a few scheduled activities: a week of camp here or there and a family vacation or two. Beyond that, we were left to our own creativity for weeks on end.

    And, of course, there were no computers in varying sizes and shapes to offer us inspiration or activities.

    As daunting as this may seem to some of the current generation of kids growing up with screens in every corner of their lives, our family tried an experiment last summer to try to recapture that experience. We went completely technology free from the day school got out until the week before Labor Day. No screens of any kind were allowed except for occasional movies on the television screen and adults being able to check their phones for basic communication.

    It was magical. What we all discovered was the wonderful reality that creativity is alive and well in everyone’s brain and spirit. We learned that everything could become a creative activity if taken with the right approach. Buying fresh food from the growers’ market and cooking together in the kitchen became a great family activity. Preparing a menu based on what was available fresh that day became a creative act. And discussions moved from more surface topics to deeper life issues as the sounds of the digital world were quieted and we had more time to spend listening to ourselves think and reflect.

    Many studies have been conducted that show what we intuitively remember when we take a little time to be quiet: creativity heals the soul, helps us repair problems in our lives, mends challenges in relationships, keeps us healthier, and makes life a whole lot more fun if we let it.

    And one of the very best things about creativity is that it is free. It comes without a battery or a chord to charge it. We do need to re-charge, but that happens most easily when we do things that bring us back to our true nature – being in nature, for one, or doing anything restful, relaxing, and playful.

    This summer my family has not decided to go completely tech free, but we are limiting screen time of any sort to a very short amount of time. Technology, when used well, can help increase our creative ideas, help us learn new things, and help us connect with others in some pretty amazing ways.

    But most of this summer for our family will be spent in ways that help our creativity blossom. We will do lots of walks, as much swimming as we can, create art projects, write a bit, read lots of books, play outside, build forts in the den, listen to music, fool around on musical instruments, cook and garden, play with our pets, and generally relax.

    We will try to laugh as often as we can to keep those good, creative juices going and to keep happiness flowing through our bodies and house.

    And we will remember to be grateful for all of the time we get to have together, for the time we each have separately to do the things we enjoy, and for the simple fact that creativity lives inside each of us. We just have to give it room to grow.

    What are your plans for the summer?

    What is your creative spirit up to these days?

  • Celebrating Kids, Culture and Art

    By Michelle Wilson, Development Director, The Children’s Advocacy Center

    This spring we invited all of the children and teens in Jackson County to help us decorate our walls. We held an art contest and invited submissions of art that fit the theme “Celebrating Cultures of Our World.”

    FB 6We received 102 beautiful pieces of art. Each one was created by a child or teen who saw the poster for our contest and decided to enter – each one created by a young person who wanted to create art and share it with others.

    And what wonderful art they created!

    We asked a few local “celebrity judges” to help us choose the top 16 pieces to display at our center. Thank you to Jim Collier (art patron and supporter of many art-based agencies in town), Brad Russell (Executive Director of the Rogue Valley YMCA), Kathy Mustard (owner of Mustard Press and member of our Advisory Council), Eric Strahl (Events Manager for the Craterian Theater), and Jamie Hutchinson (Family Meeting Facilitator for DHS).

    These judges helped us pick the top 16 pieces which are now framed, matted, and ready to be displayed at the center. Another 32 pieces received an Honorable Mention because it was so hard to choose. And we have decided to display all of the work because it is all so filled with positive, joyful energy. We are going to fill this center with color and designs that celebrate not only the cultures of our world but also the bright energy of children and teens all around us.

    Thank you to the Jackson County Cultural Coalition and an anonymous donor for making this all happen. Thank you to the Craterian Theater at the Collier Center for Performing Arts for hosting the show. And thank you to all of the kids, teachers, and parents who responded to our invitation and made sure we received so many beautiful pieces of art. Our staff members are already saying how grateful they are that we will have this art collection to bring light and healing to our center and work.

    Art truly does heal. Creating it and sharing it with others really is a wonderful way to bring light to dark places and share our gifts with others. To everyone who made this happen ~ thank you.

    Show 4
    Michelle Wilson

     

  • Going on a Treasure Hunt (Part 2)

    CAC mural March 2014What would you do if you found yourself on a sailboat in the middle of a stretch of ocean, and your task was to search for treasure?

    Along the way, you had to:

    • find a few new friends
    • locate some markers of your trip so you could share them with others who might want to follow you
    • weather a storm or two
    • discover something magical; and
    • leave a mark on the spot of your treasure so others could find it too.

    Oh yeah – and then you need to create a piece of art that shows your journey.

    The mural created by some of the girls in our mentoring programs, led by artist Manda Severin, represents something very similar to this make-believe journey. They didn’t go on an actual boat, but the mural makes me think about the journeys we take at each phase of our lives and all the symbolism that can be found in a painting of an ocean.

    CAC mural March 2014blog3

    Think about it: an ocean is a deep and mysterious place under the surface, but when you look at it from above, it is just a beautiful expanse of blue water and sparkly splashes and rolling waves. Looking at it from that viewpoint, it seems like an ocean is just water – miles and miles of water.

    CAC mural March 2014blogBut we know that under the surface you can find all sorts of life. You might find turtles or fish or living coral. If you are lucky, maybe you’ll meet a mermaid or merman. If you travel close to shore you might see a lighthouse and cliffs and rocky shoreline. If you dive very deep, you might find larger sea creatures, both gentle and fierce, moving through the deep, dark depths.

    It’s kind of like stretches of our lives. If we just look at what things appear to be on the surface, it can seem like lots of sameness – like the stretches of blue water of the ocean. If we look below, though, we find all sorts of things going on. On my particular journeys at various times of my life, I have met lots of interesting friends and companions (like the turtles and mermaids and jelly fish in the mural), weathered a few horrible storms, and been very grateful for the markers along the way that helped me avoid wrecks and disasters (like the lighthouse and the compass).

    CAC mural March 2014blog2In the mural, the X marks the spot of the treasure, but the box is unopened. I like this image, because even though we might all venture through journeys similar to the one in this painting, we each need and hopefully find different “treasures”.

    The journey of healing from anything painful has all of these elements: uncertain pathways, companions and friends, stormy periods, and resting spots when we need them. What I love about this mural is that it leaves a path of this journey so that others can follow and hopefully have an easier time of it. The fact that this was created by girls healing from abuse makes that part of the painting even more touching to me. I like the idea that they have created something that is both playful and significant, meaningful to their own journeys and to the journeys we all take, whether we have experienced abuse or not. We all journey through challenges and times of joy in our lives and this mural speaks to all of us in that way.

    Have you decided yet what your journey might look like? Who your companions might be? What treasure you might find at the end?

    CAC mural March 2014blog4One last thing. At the top of the mural the purple sky is lit up with glowing stars in the shape of expanding circles and they seem to cast a blessing over the whole thing. I’d like to think those stars represent all those who watch over us and help us, over the girls who painted the mural, over all kids and teens healing from abuse. When I look up at the stars tonight, that thought will bring peace to my thoughts.

    Thank you, artists of this mural, for sharing a little bit of your journeys with us and for leaving something beautiful behind at our center. May the stars watch over your journeys, tonight and every night, and may you always have companions to help you along your way.

    This mural was painted by artist Manda Severin, with participation by five girls who are in treatment at the Children’s Advocacy Center (CAC). The girls helped choose the theme and picked the design, as well as being full participants in the painting process. 

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Manda Severin
    Manda Severin

    The artist: Manda Severin is a true renaissance woman. She has a Master’s degree in Psychology and she has been an instructor at SOU for many years. She is also a very talented artist and musician. She is available to paint murals for individuals or businesses and she can be reached at juniperbryn@gmail.com

  • Going on a Treasure Hunt (Part 1)

    In January and February, an artist named Manda Severin helped some of the girls who come to our center paint a beautiful mural.  This, like all creative processes, began with a few simple things:  paint, a canvas, brushes, ideas and thoughts, and a few questions.

    What type of adventure would you like to take?  What kind of journey are you on?  What journey are we all on?

    What flowed from these general ideas was a painting with literal images of flowing water, of ocean waves and birds.  I got a glimpse of the mural before it was finished.  The top half of the mural is bright with colors from the sea shore – blues and greens and a brilliant red-orange-yellow sailboat floating in the middle.  The puffy clouds and bright stars in the sky mirror the white foam bubbling at the shore.

    Met2I am captivated by the images and want to get on that sailboat and see where it would take me.

    But my eye is drawn to the image on the bottom half of the mural.  This section is an earthy brown, a grounding color that compliments the bright movement of the ocean above it.  A bright red dotted path starts at an island and travels down, in a curving pattern, around outlines of a turtle and mermaids, ending someplace in the middle of the space.

    Metamorphosis1I wonder what is there?

    The mural is not quite finished, so I will have to wait to see what treasure is found there, but it has me thinking.  Will the path end here?  Will the treasure be something expected, or something surprising?  Will we get to see the treasure, or will we be left guessing about what type of treasure can be found in this magical place?  Will each viewer of the mural get to decide on their own “treasure”, or will we all enjoy the same treasure?

    I love this piece because it is so similar to life, with all of its twists and turns and surprises, the moments when we get to frolic with the sea turtles and the days when we feel lost on a path that doesn’t seem to have an end.  The mural is both playful and a bit mysterious, and it invites me to look at my life with a bit more playfulness and lightheartedness.

    The journey we are all on can be pretty hard sometimes, and the journey of healing from painful things can feel unbearable at times.  But if we keep going – “just keep swimming” as Dori says in a famous sea-based movie – we can know that there is always treasure to be found and unknown adventures just around the corner.  Just like life, this mural in its unfinished state invites me to keep going … to follow the dots and explore just a bit more.

    met3I look forward to seeing it in its finished state.  Stay tuned.