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Hope for the Future of Foster Siblings

By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

Last week I had the opportunity to participate in Legislative Days for the Oregon Network of Child Abuse Intervention Centers (The State Network for agencies like the Children Advocacy Center of Jackson County). Last week was one of those weeks that took me to Portland and to Salem for meetings.

The meetings are always important and always focused on serving abused children, in the best way possible, and on the needs of the multi-disciplinary teams across the state of Oregon.

I have a love-hate relationship with these meetings. I love the people at these meetings. They are “Hidden Heroes”. They work behind the scenes in many cases to make sure that abused children get the very best services in the most trauma informed way possible. I am so incredibly lucky to hear the innovative ideas, to be part of the decision making process for the Network and really just to “know” these people. I hate the drive and the time out of our center.

Last week was special. Last week we were meeting with our Representatives and Senators to talk about what we do for abuse victims and how crucial those services are for healing and recovery. In fact in many cases we are saving the lives of our most vulnerable citizens. We presented a bill that is focused on sustaining the service across the state and to really make sure that evidence based services are available for every abused child in the state of Oregon, regardless of your zip code.

But that wasn’t what made the week special.

While waiting for our hearing, I sat alongside my fellow Executive Directors and heard testimony by two young people who represented a group that is made up of young people currently or previously placed in foster care in Oregon. Their group was presenting their fourth bill. The other three were passed and I suspect this one will as well.

The Oregon Foster Youth Connection is the name of the group and their bill is the Sibling Bill of Rights. For those of you interested, the bill is HB2216.

As I sat and listened to these young people talking about how siblings are their lifeline and how easily that life line is broken, I remember my own days of breaking these lines.

They talked about not being accepted by their foster family because of being transgender. They talked about how they were unable to stay in contact with their siblings. They testified about being in the care-taking role of their siblings…teaching them to do their hair and paint their nails, and then being cut out of their life and the struggle of trying to reconnect.

I have to be honest that I missed some of the testimony. I was propelled back to a different time and a different set of siblings.

I remembered a summer day when I sat on the dirty floor at the Children’s Home in New Orleans, Louisiana in my dry clean only dress, holding a small eight year old girl, a ten year old girl and 12 year old girl in a bear hug as the staff watched. The floor was not my choice but was where we landed as the girls collapsed. I had just told the eight year old, who was in the residential treatment center, what her sisters already knew. Her parents were no longer her parents. The courts had terminated their rights for failure to do anything to better their situation. They did not even show up on this day for their “goodbye” visit.

I can hear the primal wail of her mourning.

Mourning the loss of her parents. Mourning the loss of her siblings as she kept saying over and over again, “It will never be the same”. And she was right. I did my best to do what I could for those girls but without the support of the system it certainly was never good enough. Their case was transferred on to a different foster care worker who I also know did her best. I don’t think the girls were ever adopted. They certainly were never placed together in a home again as each required more care than they could receive from a single set of parents. I remember their visitation as being every other month because of the long distance…a five hour drive one way…between their placements.

If I am still enough and quiet enough I can hear that cry. It is what keeps me grounded in the reality of what this work I choose is all about. If I am still enough, I can feel those little fingers clinging to my dress as it was time to leave that day. Those little fingers remind me there are people behind those case numbers and case decisions.

And if I am still enough and honest enough, I remember that event helped me to decide that I had spent enough time as a foster care worker in rural Louisiana where there were not enough resources, not enough foster homes and where the children could not articulate the damage I felt I was complicit in doing to their childhood. It was time to be transferred back to investigations.

In that committee hearing, I was almost overwhelmed with the pride for these two young people who I did not know.

I felt hopeful for the future of the foster children who will be placed long after these two young people become adults and move on in their life. I know that the solutions lay in their hands and in their hearts. They will change the landscape of the system. They already are. I left that hearing with a smile as I recognized that they are powerful. Their situations had not left them paralyzed.

They will use that passion and do great things on behalf of children everywhere. They already are.
Philanthropy Should Be at the Heart of All Local Businesses

By Renae Dixon, KeyBank

At KeyBank, we have one overall goal: to help our clients and communities thrive. While we have a laser focus on financial wellness, we realize the benefit of a holistic approach to well-being and are always looking for ways to be involved in the communities where we live and work.

That is why the mission of one of our clients, CACJC, is so important to us. As they support the most vulnerable in our society, we are proud to support them in any way we can, including financial support.

We have always been aware of the excellent work they do in the community and are proud to support their goals. For the past two years, we have presented a gift to the organization at our invitation-only event on the eve of the annual Southern Oregon Business Conference. That evening we were proud and pleased to showcase CACJC and raise visibility for its work on behalf of children in the presence of an audience of prospective supporters and donors.

Philanthropy is part of KeyBank’s DNA and we have been nationally recognized for improving the quality of life in our communities. The Civic 50 identifies the top 50 S&P 500 corporations in the U.S. in terms of time, talent and resources used to improve the quality of life in their communities. Key was named to the most recent Civic 50 list as one of America’s 50 most community-minded companies by the National Conference on Citizenship and Points of Light.

The KeyBank Foundation works hard all year long to connect closely with nonprofit partners that will have a transformative impact on our communities, and our employees’ engagement in volunteerism and personal philanthropy is a source of pride for us all.

We’re certainly not alone in our commitment to improving the quality of life in our communities. According to Giving USA, corporations donated $18.45 billion in 2016. That’s a great deal of money. But the needs are always greater.

Will you join the movement? If you have the chance to initiate a program of volunteering or donating at your business, I encourage you to do so. Being a good neighbor and helping our community allows all of us to thrive, together.

About the author: Renae Dixon is Senior Business Services Officer at KeyBank. She can be reached at 541-282-2372 or renae_a_dixon@keybank.com.
The tragedy of Victoria Martens we must prevent in the future

By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

Today I am sitting in my office trying to get caught up after the big snow fall in Medford. The office is officially closed in observance of Martin Luther King Jr. Day. It is very quiet and peaceful here.

I have been reading about a case out of New Mexico of some pretty horrific abuse. Maybe you have read about it? It caught my attention on Facebook on a friend’s feed. I remember hearing a little bit about this case earlier in the investigation.

The child was ten years old and named Victoria Martens.

She was sexually abused and killed by her Mother’s boyfriend and his cousin while the mom watched. I would not advise researching for more information on this case, as most of the reports I have read have been pretty graphic and pretty horrific.

Most of my career in child protection I have categorized parents in two categories. There are those who do the best they can and that just isn’t good enough to keep their kids healthy and safe, so their children are abused. These parents have the ability to learn and have the desire to do so. These parents are the parents that when their children are removed from their care, they are usually returned after a treatment plan. Or maybe the children are left in their care with a treatment plan.

Then there are the parents I say are, well, just “mean” parents. It appears from the articles that I have read that Victoria unfortunately had a “mean” mom. These are the parents that are somewhat sadistic and are just cruel. I will admit that I do not know the truth of what happened and I am making judgements based on what I have read in the news article.

There among the news reports on the case is an interview with the Mother’s parents. The case reports state that the Mom watched her current boyfriend, and two other men before that, have sex with her daughter for her own sexual gratification. (I wasn’t kidding when I said the reports were graphic…they are disturbing even to me after many years of hearing these kinds of stories.) There are reports that she watched two people give her daughter, who was ten years-old, meth in order to calm her down so they could have sex with her.

Victoria’s grandparents say that the child never said anything and appeared to be happy. A friend and neighbor of the mom states, “I know Victoria is in heaven saying forgive my mom.” The grandparents agree. The grandparents report that their daughter loved her children and was a hard working single mother.

If that is the case, then that leaves the rest of us to ask what went wrong. What can we learn from this in order to prevent it in the future?

I need to know, even though I do not know Victoria, that she did not die for her mom’s, and the others allegedly involved, own perverted reasons. I need to know we, as in the global we, can do better for the Victorias in the world.

I have poured over the news reports in this case. My heart hurts. I cry not understanding how this happens. I compare it to my own life. What would have to happen in my life that I would find myself there and allow this to happen to ANY one’s child. I can come up with no scenarios.

My only hope is that most people in this world are made up of a moral fiber that does not allow for events to happen that would end in this result for a child. For any child.

Everyone one interviewed, or at least that I could find to read, stated that there were no signs that this was going on. The child seemed happy. Mom is described as a hard working single mom.

I wonder how many people in this child’s life had any education regarding identifying and responding to child sexual abuse. The mom states in one of her interviews that there were other men, acquaintances of mom’s, who had sex with this child because mom liked to watch.

I have a favor to ask of all those who are outraged and horrified by the Victoria Martens case.

If you believe that this ten year-old should not have been forced to have sex with the men in her mother’s life, if you think it is a tragedy that she was killed one day after her tenth birthday, and if you would do anything in your power to prevent this from happening to children in your life or in your community or in your child’s life or in your grandchild’s life, then please join the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County in our efforts to protect the children in our community from sexual abuse.

Sign up for a class through our Protect Our Children project. There are public classes every month. We will even do private classes for you if you have 5 people or more who are interested in protecting children.

We can make a difference. We can’t change what has already happened, but we can control what we do in the future to prevent these tragedies from happening.

Let’s all decide together that we will not accept that Victoria’s abuse and death could not have been prevented, that there were no signs.
Tammi Pitzen: The 26th anniversary of living my passion

By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

In 1989, I started this quest into the field of child abuse as an intern on the Ouachita Parish Sheriff’s Office child abuse team. It was made up of two women detectives. I graduated in 1990 from Northeast Louisiana University. (They changed their name sometime in the later 90’s, but I refuse to play along. My degree says NLU, and so that is who they will always be to me!).

On December 26, 1990, I began working for the Office of Community Services in Vernon Parish and briefly closed my eyes. When I opened them again, it was 26 later and here I am in Oregon.

This work was meant to be a temporary passage — not a lifetime passion. December 26th I will embark on my 27th year of working on my behalf of abused children.

As I sit down to write this, and reflect on the last 26 years, I recognize that many things have changed for me. I started out making less than $12.50 an hour. I just did the math and that is shocking to me. If I am honest, I can’t remember how much I made, but at the end of ten years, I was making less than $12.50 an hour.

I started out in this field at the age of 21, single, childless, and ready to take on the world. I had no responsibilities to anyone else and so I worked. A lot. I worked weekends. I worked late. I took work home with me. I will say, that part does not seem to have changed that much.

26 years ago, there were no cell phones. I would go out for the day to locate families, signing out on a white board, and just assumed that if I didn’t come back, someone would eventually come to look for me. Not that they would have found me as, most of the time, I just signed out “in the field”. Depending on the day, it could have literally been a field, but most of the time, it just meant “out of the office working”.

26 years ago, there was no GPS system, so I would navigate with the latest parish map. 26 years ago, I planned my life around a “pager” schedule. I would literally sit around and wait for the pager to go off on my “on-call” weeks.

26 years ago, most of the training was on the job training and the initial training I received, before going out and investigating life and death crimes, was on constructing genograms. (The social workers reading this will know what that is, and smile, and recognize that it would not help me in deciphering timelines or pattern bruising).

Within six months of this first job, everything about me changed. I was no longer who I thought I was. This work changes you.

No. Actually, the children do that to you.

To this day, there are eight children from two families that flash into my mind every night before I go to sleep. They made me into a better case worker. Their parents made me more compassionate and empathetic. Those kids never got to go home or at least, not until their 18th birthday.

In my first year, I worked near fatal child abuse cases and, within my first year and a half, I had worked fatal cases.

The smell of a hospital still evokes images and a panicked feeling surrounding my first fatal child abuse case. Surprisingly, I didn’t interact much with law enforcement while investigating that case. I do remember having to repeatedly call and basically camp out at the police station to get a report and to get a copy of the coroner’s findings.

I do remember my shaking hands as I tried to draw the injuries I could see on the child’s body. Another skill that none of my initial training taught me. And I remember crying myself to sleep as I imagined what had happened that caused her to take her last breath.

It was a pivotal moment. At this point, caseworkers either move on to some other work or decide what adjustments they will need to make in order to stay in.

Upon reflection, I have learned so much. Here are 26 things I have learned in 26 years:

1.     At some point in life, you have to decide if making a lot of money is your driving force or if it is finding your purpose. Sometimes you are super lucky and your purpose will allow you to make a lot of money.

2.     Sometimes your passion chooses you. And usually when you are not paying attention.

3.     If you are going to make a difference, you have to take care of yourself. I always thought it was crazy that the stewardess on the plane tells you that, if you are sitting next to a child and the air masks drop, put yours on first. Now, I totally get it. You will do no one any good if you are sick and unable to function.

4.     For the most part, people do the best they can with what they are given—this includes parents of abused children.

5.     Sometimes milk and cookies is the answer — no matter what the question.

6.     Spilled milk is not a crisis or the end of the world. Neither is spilled red Kool-Aid.

7.     If we listen closely, children will tell us what they need. And part two of that is that sometimes they tell us through methods other than words.

8.     Adults are always in control and in charge in any interaction with children. It does not matter if it is an abuse scenario or just regular life.

9.     Very few mistakes made are mistakes that can’t be corrected.

10. Sometimes you get “do overs” in life. Always take them.

11. Wolves really do come in sheep’s clothing. Every single time I am surprised by it when it happens.

12. Life is good when you expect the best all the time, even when people disappoint you. Being surprised by the wolf in sheep’s clothing does not make you naïve or ignorant.

13. Everyone has something to give and no matter what it is they are giving, it has value. It is important to let them give.

14. Children who are abused did not ask for that abuse nor did they do anything to cause the abuse to happen. The brokenness that is left after a child is abused can be repaired.

15. Sometimes everything IS awesome. Enjoy those times!

16. Sex offenders look like everyone else.

17. An abused child deserves the same things that any other child has.

18. The world-wide web is not the enemy. The key is supervising our children and monitoring their actions on the internet.

19. Kids will teach you what you need to know to love them.

20. Judgements get in the way of doing our best work with families.

21. Don’t get caught up in leaving a legacy or a mark on the world. Focus on doing what is “right” and “kind” in the moment and your mark will be left.

22. Providing structure provides safety.

23. Abuse in your childhood does not define who you are. It usually has nothing to do with who you are and more to do with who the abuser is.

24. Listen to everything your child tells you, as if it is the most important thing in the world, so they will tell you the important things when they come up. Otherwise they may get filtered out.

25. Never underestimate the impact of being kind to someone.

26. Terrible awful things happen to the best people. It really isn’t about what is fair or what is right. It is about what you do next. Do you choose to stay exactly where the terrible awful thing left you. Choose to rise above and beyond.

And I want to add one more that has saved me many times: Never, ever take yourself too seriously. When you can recognize your weaknesses and your mistakes and forgive yourself those missteps, it allows others to do the same for themselves

While many things have changed in the last 26 years, the one thing that remains constant is this: Abused children need each of us.

We — as in all of us — are the ones that can change the trajectory of the life of an abused child. Don’t let anyone tell you it is not your business. It is your business.

It has been a long rewarding 26 years. I am hoping I have more years to give. As I enter in my 27th year, I am humbled and thankful for the opportunity to do this work in this community.

I am extremely proud of the staff, Board, Advisory Council, volunteers, donors and Multi-disciplinary team at the Children’s Advocacy Center.

Together we can make our world a better, safer place for children in Jackson County. We depend on each of you to be able to provide abused children with interviews, therapy, medical care and support services.

Tammi Pitzen and her co-workers at the beginning of her career
I am thankful for the generosity of this community

By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

Thanksgiving

It is one of my favorite times of the year. I love fall. I love all that it represents. I think about fall being the time to go into our cocoon and come out in spring transformed. For me, it is also a time to be reflective of the blessings I have in my life.

I have just celebrated my three year anniversary at the CAC. Together we have done so much in those three years.

In this work, the average “life span” of an Executive Director in a CAC is about three years. At that point, people either move on to other work or they decide they will stay. I think that is because in the first year, you are learning the territory. You are learning your community. You are learning the nuances of the way the CAC operates in this community, with this team. While I have done this work for a really long time, it is never the same in any two communities.

In year two, you know what impact you want to make but are still trying to figure out a way to assimilate what you would like to do into a functioning team of professionals.

In year three you begin to execute your vision. Or you become so overwhelmed by the mountains of work required to keep all the cogs moving that you decide to move on instead of moving mountains.

I want to move mountains!

When I turned 21 and began this work, I had no idea that it would become my passion. When I say passion, I mean PASSION! It is hard to explain. Many people think about the children who are abused in our community and think…that is horrible. I, and those I work with, think about those same abused children and our reaction is to work to change their world.

I am not alone in my passion. I see it every Wednesday afternoon when I attend our Multi-disciplinary team meeting.

I look at the faces of the professionals assembled in that room and know that I am with “my people”. I spend very little, if any time with these people outside of the small room upstairs in the Children’s Advocacy Center. I know most by name.

But here today, in this moment, during this time of thankfulness I count that team as one of the top ten things I am most thankful for.

In the spirit of naming my blessings here are the things I am most thankful for this year:

1)     I am so thankful for my family. The one I was born into, the one I married into and the one I have created along the way since my childhood. My husband is so supportive and has joined me in my concern for children who are abused, unwanted, or otherwise uncared for. We are teaching our son to take care of those more vulnerable.

2)     I am thankful for the mentors who have guided and helped me learn the skills I need to work in this wonderful movement (the CAC movement) and in the field of child abuse. There have been many along the way. Some are no longer living. Most are separated from me by miles.

3)     I am thankful for the search committee who saw something in me that led them to believe that I could be the leader of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County.

4)     I am thankful for the multi-disciplinary team members that I get to work with every day. These people are fantastic. Literally, every day, quietly they are saving lives and changing the world. I am so lucky to be able to see these things happening. Most people take it for granted.

5)     I am thankful for the staff and contract professionals that I have the honor of working with every day. They are absolutely some of the best people in this field and I cannot imagine taking this journey without them on my team.   They are brilliant and compassionate. They make me look good every day! Who wouldn’t want that in their life?

6)     I am thankful for the most impressive Board of Directors that I have ever had the privilege of working with and for. This community is so lucky to have them.

7)     I am thankful for the generosity of this community and the support they have always given the Children’s Advocacy Center.

8)     I am thankful for the network of Executive Directors that I get to work with and learn from. This would be so hard without all of you!!! It is so fun to be able to share with you, collaborate with you, and make Jackson County an incredible place to live.

9)     I am thankful for the opportunity to witness strength, courage, and bravery that the young victims we serve at the CAC show every single day. It is an amazing thing.

10) I am thankful for a couple of women who many years ago allowed me to work outside of the box and empowered me to step into a leadership position in a CAC. They taught me a lot about grants, a lot about running programs, a lot about facilitating a team, working with Boards, and a bunch of other nonprofit “stuff”. My first Executive Director, Janet Buss and my second Executive Director, Teresa Huizar, taught me everything I know about CAC’s and nonprofit management. I am uncertain what you both saw in me that made you want to invest in me but I am so thankful you did.

I challenge each of you to come up with your own list of thankfulness!

My wish for each of you is that you will know your value, know your strengths, and find peace and serenity that will carry you through.

Tammi Pitzen
A child shares a secret-what happens next? Why CAC Matters

By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

I often contemplate late at night, when I think of the children that come through the center, and worry if their needs are getting met or if they are safe or what could we do to make it better. Does the CAC matter? Does it matter what services we provide? Who does it matter to? Why does it matter?

Please for minute close your eyes and take an imaginary journey with me.

I will forewarn you it is not for the faint of heart and it could trigger emotions from the past. Be safe as you take this journey and, if it becomes too much to take, please take care of yourself.

Imagine a six year-old little girl.

She is happiest at school. She is safest there as well. She loves to spend recess jumping rope, playing wall ball or swinging high in the air. She is not always clean. She is not always accepted by her teacher or her classmates. She is sometimes disruptive in class and always hungry and sleepy.

She finds refuge with a school counselor and begins to trust her. She shares with her a secret. A secret so horrible that her counselor begins to get teary eyed, however assures the little girl that she will get her the help that she needs.

The school counselor calls a Social Worker and asks for help for her.

Several things have just been triggered.

A criminal and child protection investigation has been started. At six, she will be interviewed by a police officer or an interviewer. The choice becomes where this interview will happen and how many people will interview her. At six, she will need a medical evaluation and she will need therapy. Where will she get these services?

There is some urgency to gathering the information as the Case Worker needs to secure her safety. She cries as she is led from the school to a car waiting outside. Will she be able to see her Mom? Will she be mad?

There are choices to be made and those choices matter.

They matter to that six year-old little girl in the first grade. They matter to her Mom. They matter to the Police Officer. They matter to the Case Worker. They matter to the Medical Provider. They matter to the Therapist.

The CAC matters.

The CAC does not erase what happened to that six year-old. It only helps to wrap a safety net around her. The CAC does not make it go away. It paves a way to process what happened and to make that a part of her history, but not of her future.

The CAC provides a holistic approach to child abuse investigations and interventions.

All under one roof, so to speak, you can have a forensic interview, a medical evaluation, a therapy assessment and find a support person to help you find a way through the system.

These services start with an interview and hopefully end with a prosecution. Everyone involved is specially trained to deal with child victims. The Deputy District Attorney has a full picture of who was involved in what and there is a system in place to share information to insure that the child is receiving the best services possible.

Or the old way can be chosen:

The six-year old girl will be interviewed by a police officer, then a social worker, then a medical provider, then therapist, then a Deputy District Attorney. Each of these interviews can take place in a separate building with different addresses. Somewhere along the way, someone will call the mom to inform her that her daughter is at the Police Station being interviewed. The interview may take place in the same interview room that the suspect might be interviewed in later. Then after all of this takes place, the Mom will be instructed to take her child to the emergency room at a local hospital and there she can wait for her child to be examined. No one will tell her the results of those exams right then. They will be passed to an officer who will then pass that information on to the Mom. There will, later, be a referral to a therapist made and at some point the child will be seen for an assessment. After the assessment, the child may be assigned to a therapist that might be the same as the one who did the assessment or it might be someone different. Eventually, if the information seems right and credible, the case may be presented for charges. The child may have to testify at Grand Jury and then again in a trial. They will meet a couple of new people…the Deputy District Attorney prosecuting the case and an advocate that will help notify the child and the Mom of their legal rights as a “victim” of a crime.

No one is sharing information with each other, so no one has a full picture of what is going on and who is involved.

The Mom may even get conflicting explanations of what will happen next. There is no “hand off” for lack of a better description of the case from the investigative process into the prosecution process. There is no one checking in with the family in the meantime to see if the child is feeling safe. The six year-old may even fall through the cracks of the system for a while — until she is rediscovered at a later point in time.

The CAC matters.

The multi-disciplinary team matters.

The choices matter.

The six year-old matters.
Police Chief O’Meara: Why CAC Matters

Post by Tighe O’Meara – Ashland, Oregon Police Chief

I am going to start off on a dark note, but a real note, and one that needs to be recognized.

1 in 10 children are reported to be sexual assault victims. But let’s go ahead and make it worse, because this doesn’t account for the ones that don’t get reported; this doesn’t account for the ones that make it to a family member’s attention but it doesn’t go any further than that. And this doesn’t account for the fact that society puts different pressures on boys than it does girls, so boys feel like they have to carry the burden, silently, allowing it to traumatize them over and over, and allowing the trauma to have a profound impact on the rest of their lives.

We know that sex assaults are under-reported, across the board, at all levels, for many reasons. And grossly under-reported at that. With children it is no different, so if we know about 1 in 10, we can safely assume that the problem is much worse than the 1 in 10 figure. And, that number does not include the child victimizations we have that are physical, non-sexual assaults in nature. Add in the physical abuse victims and the numbers are even more alarming.

These are dark numbers, troubling statistics, and they are not likely to change anytime soon. We have no ability to have significant control over these numbers, and likely won’t for the foreseeable future.

I have been chief of police in Ashland for about a year and a half now. I have learned a few lessons, and have much more to learn. One of the things that I first learned, after months and months of stressing out over everything, is that bad stuff happens. There is no getting around it, people are going to get victimized. And this includes children.

And while it is important to do everything we can to prevent, just as important is how we respond when it happens, because it is inevitable that it’s going to happen, and we will never eradicate it, not anytime soon anyway.

So I slowly realized that just as important as trying to prevent crime, is trying to respond to it in the manner that is best for the victim, best for those close to the victim, and best for the community.

A couple of quotes I like that say this well:

“It’s not the failures that define us so much as how we respond” ~ Shane Parrish

“What defines us is how well we rise after falling”

We don’t have the control we want over these incidents to prevent them from happening, so we need to make sure we respond to them well, and this is where the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County shines a bright light on the dark numbers I mentioned. This is where the women and men of the CAC step in and offer national best practices for the Jackson County community.

Jackson County is great for team work.

No agency in Jackson County is big enough to go it alone, we all need each others help. And perhaps nowhere does this present itself more than with child victims. We are lucky to have this partnership in Jackson County, and we are fortunate to have a set game plan, county wide, for how we are all going to respond to these troubling complaints.

Violence against children is after all a community-wide problem, and community-wide, county-wide, all of the police are on the same page on how to handle it, and we can offer this only because of the dedicated experts we have working out of the Children’s Advocacy Center.

This should give all of us, all members of the community, some the peace of mind. Peace of mind in knowing that while we can’t (unfortunately) stop these horrific things from happening, what we can do is come together and embrace national best practices.

We can come together and make sure the child victims are not traumatized again over the same situation.We can come together and set up a program and a plan for the victim and the non-offending family members to move past the incident to a better place, both physically and emotionally. This is what CAC brings to our community.

The police officers in our community want to be there for all members of the community who need us. We want to be there when someone calls and says “I’m in trouble.” And, we will be, we will answer the call and respond to help all who ask for our help.

But, we can’t be everything to every person, and we can’t provide the level of work that our most vulnerable community members need, that is the importance of the CAC and the dedicated women and men that work there.

When we become aware that one of little ones needs help, we all want to spring into action, and we do. In our police departments we have trained and dedicated officers that are there to be a part of that process, but we simply can’t offer these kids and these families what they need, and without the CAC, we would be pretty lost.

For that matter, we can’t offer ourselves what WE need to move a criminal case forward, without the help of the CAC, because they provide us with the right facilities and atmosphere to get the evidence we need to bring a case to the DA’s office.

Do you know what the CAC looks like?

It’s like coming into your own home, it’s like visiting grandma – there’s your toys over in the corner, there’s the friendly loving face waiting to greet you. Take the CAC out of the picture and you’re trading that comfortable at-home feeling for the cold sterility of a police station. You’re taking away that level of comfort and replacing it with a hospital visit for the medical exam. You take away a short visit, in what feels like your family dining room, for grand jury and replacing it with a trip to the DA’s office.

The model employed by the CAC, the model that allows for all services to be provided under one roof, from initial assessment, interview, medical exam and follow up counseling for victims and non-offending parents, saves about $1,000 on each case that is brought forward.

Without this model we would have to try to piece these services together, further traumatizing not the just the child victim, but also the already stressed and traumatized parent who is trying to struggle through these incidents.

We are truly fortunate to have this facility and these people, working there, every day, bringing compassion, comfort and healing to the survivors, and the families. Helping not just the families move through these difficult situations but, while doing so, supporting the law enforcement mission to hold the offenders responsible.

The numbers quoted at the beginning of this post are troubling indeed, but our partnership, county-wide, with the CAC of Jackson County, shines a light on that dark problem, and helps us all get through it to a place that’s a little bit better.

So what can you do to help?

Take the child sexual abuse training offered by the CAC.

Tell your friends and family about the CAC, spread the word about the CAC’s mission and the important, invaluable work that is done there every day. Encourage your friends and family to take the training and to help out.

Keeping in mind the quote that I offered before: “What defines us is not that we fall but it is how well we rise after falling.”

I will close with this:

The CAC is a shining example, of a community coming together to rise, everyday, time after time, after falling down, one child victim at a time. That’s why the CAC is so important, and that’s why we need to support it.

Tighe O’Meara, Ashland, Oregon Police Chief
Transformation: Why CAC Matters

By Leah Howell, Jackson County Training Coordinator, PROTECT OUR CHILDREN Child Abuse Prevention Training

My son just started preschool this year. Two days per week, he gathers with 10 other 3 year-olds and follows a routine of play, circle time, and snack.

Right now he and his classmates are learning about the life-cycle of the monarch butterfly, and subsequently, they were able to capture two caterpillars. Inside an aquarium, and with assistance from a branch tilted at just the right angle, those caterpillars each made a chrysalis. What an amazing process this insect goes through – changing from one thing, to something so different!

I wonder if there is something innate in the caterpillar that realizes someday he will not be confined to such a small area of the world, eating every minute of the day, trapped in a slow moving, defenseless body. Do they know, somehow, that there is more in store for them? Or if, when he sees other monarch butterflies, does he innately “know” that is what he will become?

Children come into this world totally dependent and defenseless too.

I do not know if each child is born with an innate knowledge of their potential, but I do know that the beliefs about their own worth can be easily influenced by negative messages: “You’re a bad kid,” “You’re too emotional,” “You are an inconvenience,” and “You are nothing special.”

These messages early and often have the power to keep a kid on the ground, metaphorically speaking, dragging wings that seem like nothing more than a nuisance.

I love being part of the Children’s Advocacy Center – an organization that prioritizes protection, support and care of kids,…a place where the employees and volunteers speak worth and potential into kid’s lives all day, every day… a place that teaches kids how to start to use the amazing wings they’ve got, and then, through amazing transformations, kids learn to fly!

Come be a part of these transformations!

If you have time, kind words, energy, and love to give – call Ginny Sagal our Volunteer Coordinator: 541-282-5474 Ext. 113.
How are children faring in Oregon?
By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

Today I am sitting in my office listening to the rain and feeling a little sad and a lot overwhelmed. It’s Sunday and the office is very quiet except for the rain trickling through the rain gutters and the tap of my fingers on the keyboard.

No, I am not sad because I am working on the weekend or because it is raining.

I am sad because I just read the 2015 Child Welfare Data Book.

There is much controversy across the country because there are statistics that have been released in recent years that indicate child abuse is on the decrease. I have watched this discussion and sometimes participated in this discussion over the last few years and I just don’t see this to be true in my every day practice.

According to the 2015 Child Welfare Data Book, 27 children in Oregon died as a result of child abuse and neglect.

In 2014 that number was 13. In 2013 that number was 10. 27 is a number that describes an amount but does not tell the story. Behind that 27 are children that died at the hands of another. 21 of those deaths were caused by one or both parents. 20 of those children were under the age of 5.

I do not know all their stories. I do not know the heinous circumstance in which they died. I would not recognize them in a picture if you showed it to me. But my heart weeps just the same. Each of those children carried with them potential that was never realized. Each of those children had dreams that were never dreamt.

Our community will never be what it could have been if those 27 children lived.

But, unfortunately, that is not all of the story. As I read further, I learned that

41.5% of the time for the abused and neglected children in Oregon, the perpetrator is their mom. 37% of the time it is their father. A relative, a live in companion, foster parent, or guardian are the perpetrator 15.5% of the time.

94% of the time the perpetrator was someone who, by their very role in the child’s life, is supposed to be a protector not an abuser.

I read further. In Jackson County our numbers increased as well. In 2013, there were 707 victims of child abuse in our county. In 2014 that rose to 801 and in 2015 rose again to 954.

These are more than numbers. There were 954 children in our community that were harmed in some way. Chances are you know one of these 954. Chances are they go to school with your child or grandchild. Chances are that your paths crossed with one of these children. You may have sat next to one at church or at a community event. You may have seen one riding their bike in your neighborhood.

Please do not think this is not your business. It is your business. It is my business. These children are our children.

As I read through the “numbers”, faces of children I have worked with over the years flash in my mind’s eye. Some of them are ones that I was not happy with the outcomes and, if I am honest, I often wonder what happened after. What kind of adult are they? Are they happy? Did they find peace?

These are the thoughts that will be running through my brain, stealing sleep from me over the next few weeks. It happens every year after I read the Data Book. It’s predictable. I imagine there are Department of Human Services Supervisors and case workers doing the same.

Every year when the report is released I wonder what else I can do to keep that number from increasing. What else can the CAC do? What else can our community partners do?

We can’t bury our head in the sand and pretend it isn’t happening. Jackson County has the 9th highest rate of abuse per 1000 children in the state of Oregon.

No one entity and no one person is the answer. It takes all of us.

Not sure what you can do?

Let me suggest a few things:
- Make a donation to the Children’s Advocacy Center. We provide fantastic evidence based interventions to the abused children and their non-offending caregivers that we serve. We do not charge the families for these services. The bottom line is; it takes money to provide these services. Donate Now.
- Become a Children’s Advocacy Center volunteer. Or become a volunteer at The Family Nurturing Center or at CASA. We all need volunteers. We need people who can give some time that will help a child. The Advocacy Center needs some adults who can answer a phone, play a game of checkers, and make a phone call or two…..drink a cup a coffee with a non-offending caregiver or share a gold fish with a child while they are waiting for their appointment. Learn more about volunteering at the CAC or call Ginny at: vsagal@cacjc.org or 541-734-5437
- Take a class. The Children’s Advocacy Center has a prevention program called Protect Our Children that uses Darkness to Light’s curriculum “Stewards of Children” to teach adults to recognize and respond to child sexual abuse. It is an adult’s responsibility to keep kids safe but how can you do that if you don’t know how to identify it. Or even better, host a class for your church, your civic organization, your place of employment, your best friends—any group of people you are involved in. Schedule a class for yourself or your group
- Become a Foster Parent
- Talk to your legislative representatives about the importance of funding in programs that respond and intervene in child abuse. Talk to them about the CAC and the work that we do. Find your legislators
- Become informed. Attend the Free CAC Community Forum coming up on Nov. 7th regarding keeping kids safe on the internet.
You Matter.
Judge blames rape victim for not “keeping her knees together”

By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

That day is not today.

Remember in my last blog that I yearned for a tomorrow where people understood trauma and what consent is? Well, after reading a story in the news and doing a little research on that story…that day is definitely not today!

A judge in Canada is facing removal from the bench for his conduct when he asked a woman in a rape case why she couldn’t “just keep her knees together.” Yes, let that sink in for a minute. Think about how those five words uttered by a man charged with upholding justice will impact the young rape victim he was speaking to in open court. She is 19. Imagine being 19 and being raped in a bathroom over a sink and then the judge presiding over your case basically tells you that you could have prevented this if you would have just kept your knees together, or if you would have pushed your bottom to the sink he would not have been able to penetrate you.

Please take a minute and re-read that last part and fully appreciate what he has done to this victim. And what he has done to this Rapist. The victim will forever live with those words and wonder if she could have prevented her own rape. If she somehow could have stopped him from robbing her of what her life could have been like without rape being a part of it.

He went on to give the rapist the following advice, “I want you to tell your friends, your male friends, that they have to be far more gentle with women. They have to be far more patient. And they have to be very careful. To protect themselves, they have to be very careful.”

He acquitted the rapist because he felt his story was more credible. This has been overturned and this case is set for a new trial. If you were that 19 year-old rape victim would you go through the ordeal of a trial again? Saying she was re-victimized in that courtroom by that judge is an understatement.

The judge is facing removal from the bench. There are proceedings going on right now. I am anxious to hear the outcome. I will be shocked if he is not removed.

His excuses? Well, he said that he received little training on sexual assault cases. He said most of his legal career he handled bankruptcy cases. He then went on to blame others. He said that his colleagues knew he had limited knowledge of Canadian law. He even went so far as to say it was non-existent.

Let’s ponder for a moment what some offender behaviors look like. In my experience, they blame others for their behaviors and choices. In my experience, they express their helplessness in what happened. In my experience, they minimize the consequences of their choices on their victims. I am going to leave that right here without any other comments.

Do you know what else bothers me about this whole scenario? In some news accounts his remarks are referred to as “off-color”. What does that mean? They are not off-color. They are demoralizing. They are humiliating. They are victim blaming.

There are reports that Robin Camp, the Judge in this case has undergone sensitivity training and has apologized publicly several times. Sensitivity training? This is not a case of saying something that hurt someone’s feelings. This is a case of potentially sentencing a victim of rape to a life of self-blame, feelings of unworthiness of protection, of self-destructive behavior…of a life-time of therapy to just process the trauma caused by the judge’s remarks, not even considering the amount of therapy to heal from the original trauma of the rape itself.

Do you remember the old saying- sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me? Words do hurt. They leave wounds that are both deep and disfiguring. They can kill a person’s soul. Professionals who are charged with upholding the laws and doling out justice have a special and unique power of defining what is acceptable behavior in our society and defining what is of value in our society. What they say impacts a victim’s recovery and healing. They should be very careful with their words. Whether they have specific training in sexual assault — they should have common decency and kindness.

I am still hoping for better opportunities for healing for victims of sexual assault, but more than that, I am still hoping for a world where a judge advises a rapist that he should not rape a 19 year-old over a sink in a bathroom at a house party.

I am still hoping for a world where a 19 year-old woman is not responsible for her rapist’s behaviors.