By Claudia Cervantes, Protect Our Children Project Bilingual Training Coordinator

Recently I attended the Regional Meeting of Coordinators of the Protect Our Children Project that took place in Eugene. It was a full day of inspiration and learning, and I can certainly say that after the first conference, I was not the same person.

Now I am someone with a new hope filling my heart: Resilience.

We can all heal and overcome the traumas that we experienced in our childhood and live a life with meaning, with purpose.

Doctor and therapist, Amy Stoeber, spoke about the adverse experiences in childhood (ACEs) and how they can be treated through an Education for Resilience. We are all born with the ability to be resilient. That means we are born with the ability to overcome the traumas we experienced in childhood and face life developing our strengths. And although this is a natural skill,  “Resilience can be taught, modeled and improved,” says Doctor Stoeber.

Through new routines, the brains of children and adolescents are modified and new connections are built in the brain structure to develop new behaviors and abilities.

If adults promote the ability to be resilient, children and adolescents can develop skills of social competence, autonomy, problem solving, a sense of purpose and a belief in a bright future.

But, how to obtain positive results in an education for resilience?

Here I share some ideas of Dr. Stoeber for creating  a support system when promoting education to improve resilience in children:

On the part of the parents:

Unconditional love. Remind your son or daughter that you love them no matter what happens or what they do.

• Model the behaviors that are expected. Look them in the eyes, do not lie, hug, be orderly, respectful, and kind.

On the part of the professionals (teachers, therapists, other adults in professional roles.)

•  Communicate without judging. Parents and children should feel that the support people are not there to judge them.

We are a team. The goals we want to achieve are established together – through a language that implies an “us”.

Dr. Stoeber also shared some ideas about how to spend time with your children and help them develop Resilience. She suggests spending 10 minutes a day, three times a week, avoiding all distractions such as cell phone use and letting your son or daughter choose a game or activity.

Here’s idea for one game to play with your children: “I love you no matter what.”

I played this game with my nine-year-old daughter and asked, “Do you love me even if I do not cook quesadillas every day?” And she told me, “Yes mom, I love you anyways.” And then she asked me, “Do you love me even though sometimes I get mad?” And I said, “Yes, I love you no matter what.”