By Dr. Sue Skinner, Interim Medical Director for The Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County
Times are stressful. Right here, right now. . . life is so much more complex and difficult than anything I would have ever imagined. . . even 3 months ago. But. I am one of the lucky ones; all my children have grown and I am not homeschooling them. When Oregon schools closed on March 12, all minor children came home. Even for the best of families, this was stressful. How to balance work, meals, education, sharing computers. . . all while worrying about what is going on in the world, and hoping no one gets sick and everyone keeps their job. In Jackson County, just like in other counties across the US, many families were struggling even before we knew about COVID-19. There were worries about finances or if the groceries would actually last all week, if the car was going to start the next time, if child support money would actually arrive, if they could keep making minimum payments on credit card debt, or how they would find suitable child care in order to attend their 12-step meeting and maintain sobriety, or their counseling appointment, addressing their own childhood trauma. Families who had many struggles were barely getting by. . . and then came the corona virus, and their kids came home.
With children out of school, parents are now responsible for keeping their kids on a schedule, making sure they “connect” with the online learning, addressing behaviors and discipline that siblings may be exhibiting more now that everyone is “cooped up” in a small space for an extended period of time. Caregivers find themselves infinitely more stressed than they were just a few months ago. And these children are more at risk for abuse. In her article, The Coronavirus Could Cause a Child Abuse Epidemic, Dr. Nina Agrawal reminds us that where there is household dysfunction, the risk of child abuse goes up. She states that suicide hotline calls are already up around the country, and New York is seeing an uptick in domestic violence. There are reports of a surge in suspected child abuse cases in Texas. She states that “many parents who are struggling. . . will no longer have any reprieve from the hard work of keeping children fed, entertained and educated.”
Now that schools are closed, I reflect on the irreplaceable foundation these institutions have become in our lives and I am reminded not only of the teachers who dedicate their long days to our kids but also the counselors, school nurses, resource officers, custodians, cafeteria staff, principals, and administrative body who work tirelessly behind the scenes. All of us can remember, without much difficulty, someone in our school years who made a big impression: I remember my 1st grade teacher, Mrs. Near, as being warm and accepting, during a year that was particularly difficult for me. My high school math teacher, Ms. Borchardt, was the single person who instilled my love of mathematics, encouraging me to choose it for my college major. School staff teach, of course. But they also support, guide, mentor, caretake. . . and protect our youth. This is, perhaps, one of their most valuable roles. School staff see children daily, for 9 months out of the year. Nationally, and in Jackson County, schools account for about 20% of the calls to the Child Abuse Hotline for exactly these reasons. They see children on a regular basis, they are often one of the first people children and adolescents feel safe talking to. Their role in child protection cannot be understated. They are a true safety net for all our children, one we have been without since March 12.
It is easy to feel overwhelmed, given the worldwide pandemic surrounding us. I like to remind myself of the saying “Just because you can’t do everything, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do something.” This helps to keep things in perspective. What can we do? It is better to do one small thing, rather than feeling overwhelmed and paralyzed into inaction. The second thing is that we stop and remember. . . we were all kids once! Every single one of us! Let’s challenge ourselves to be patient and tolerant of children, as we would have liked adults to have been with us when we were younger. Third—try this: Do something nice for a child who is in your life (maybe your own child, or a family member, or close neighbor). Then, try and do something nice for a child who is NOT in your life. Think—how can I ease stress for this child and this family during these difficult times? Help out at/donate at a food bank? Smile at a child you see on the walking path? Listen, more than talk? Donate supplies to your local school? Pick up the telephone and call the Child Abuse Hotline (in Oregon 1-855-503-7233) if you are concerned a child is being abused or neglected. Try and be the helper, the positive influence for children and families, the safety net that is so needed right now. Lastly, end your day with gratitude, for the teachers and all the school staff who teach and mentor our children. Each and every day, they are creating a better tomorrow.
“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” ~Mr. Rogers
