The Children's Advocacy Center of Jackson County

Tag: Stewards of Children

  • 10 ways to keep children safe from abuse this holiday season

     

    By Betsy Lewis, Social Media Contractor for the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    The holidays are coming, and families and friends will be gathering together to celebrate.

    Unfortunately, the holiday season is also the time of year when all types of child abuse increase.

    And it is those we know, these very family members and friends, who are the ones most likely to abuse our children.

    Here are some startling facts:

    ·        90% of children are abused by someone they know.

    ·        80% of sexual abuse occurs in one child – one adult situations.

    ·        30% of all child sexual abuse is perpetrated by other youth.

    Put these facts together with the hectic holiday season, where adults and children are thrown together, regular schedules are in flux, parents are often stressed and distracted, and you can see why kids are at greater risk this time of year.

    How can you protect your children? Darkness to Light/Stewards of Children, the curriculum we use in our Protect Our Children Trainings, calls it “Minimize Opportunity”

    Here are suggestions for your holiday season that will minimize the opportunities for abuse:

    1.      Choose group situations and have multiple adults supervise children.

    2.      Scan the physical environment for hidden areas and correct dangers.

    3.      Make sure interactions are observed and interrupted.

    4.      Remember older youth should not be in isolated, one-on-one situations with younger children.

    5.      Talk to kids about body boundaries (immediately, frequently and all year long.) Tell them they do not have to give or receive hugs, kisses, or other affection. Tell them to talk to you if anyone crosses their body boundaries. If your child tells you that he doesn’t want to be around a particular person or participate in a particular outing, take her or him seriously.

    6.      Avoid one child – one adult situations. If you do have to leave your child alone with someone, make it “observable and interruptible.” Let the adult know that you could return at any time, that you and your child are educated about child sexual abuse and that you have taught your child to tell you if there are body boundary violations.

    7.      Have a household open door policy – no interior doors are to be shut.

    8.      Make sure all outings, games and activities are observable by you or others.

    9.      Make any interactions with older children observable by multiple adults.

    10.   Be aware of “roughhousing.” Know that tickling, poking the stomach, patting the butt or knees, rubbing shoulders, can all be part of the grooming process.

    This is a hard truth and can be difficult to hear and accept: You cannot trust anyone 100% and no one is exempt, not even the closest, most beloved family members.

    Additionally, be sure to manage your own stress level and drug and alcohol use so you can be alert and aware. Most importantly, go with your instincts. Pay attention and take the necessary steps to correct any dangers if anything bothers you about someone who spends time with your child.

    The best way to keep the holidays a beautiful and magical experience and memory is to take good care of you and yours. You matter!

     

    Betsy Lewis

     

  • My Spin: Oregon’s Top Rank Registered Sex Offenders

    By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    School has started back.  At my house we are shifting back to “normal” schedule.  You know—the regular routine.  6:30 wake up.  7:12 out the door for school and work.  6:00 get home.  6:15 start our reading homework.  6:45 do the rest of our homework.  7:15 piano practice.  7:45 shower.  8:30 bedtime.  Oops.  I forgot dinner.  We do eat in there somewhere, but the schedule is tight.  We try to find some balance.  We try to concentrate our family time on the weekend and build as many memories as possible.  It is easy to go on auto pilot.  To forget to have actual conversations.  To forget to check in with each other.  The frenzy of the holidays is right around the corner.  It will get more hectic.

    This week, we have read about Oregon being number one in the country in the number of registered sex offenders.  There has been lots of chatter about what this means and why this is.  I don’t know why.  Do we make more people register than others?  Are we more proactive at looking for sex offenders?  There are many spins that you could put on this. 

    Here is my spin.  This is a good reminder to make time to talk to your children about their bodies and how to keep them safe.  This is a good reminder to stay involved and present in your child’s life regardless of their age.

    The truth is there are a lot of sex offenders EVERYWHERE.  I don’t say that to make you paranoid.  I say that to make you aware.

    I started having these body conversations with my own child when he was 2 years old.  He learned the correct term for his “boy” parts.  I never have to guess if he is talking about his penis, his tummy, his bottom or his toe.  While the cutesy names make it easier for the adults to say, it definitely makes it harder for anyone else to know what exactly your child is talking about.  In an interview to figure out if he or she has been abused, this small thing is crucial.

    I read a book to my child every once in a while about body safety and telling.  He loved that book.  It was named “Gorp’s Secret”.  It was a very child friendly way to open up the conversation.  Better yet, my child learned early who was allowed to touch what body parts under what circumstances.  It was a book that was in the story time rotation.  Just like all his other books.  Sat on the shelf just like his other books waiting for his little fingers to pick it out for his dad or me to read to him.  Normal. 

    My child’s pediatrician has the same talk with him during his annual check-up.  It does not weird him out.  It is a conversation that is part of their normal interactions during his exam.  Just like checking in about bike helmets, seat belts, and what kinds of veggies he is eating.

    Contrary to what many people might think because of my career, I do not talk to my son about these things very frequently.  When an opportunity presents itself I don’t shy away from it but I don’t bring it up.  I don’t have to.  We have been having these “little talks” since he was a baby.  He knows.

    The older your child gets, the more uncomfortable it is to start these conversations, but if they have been a part of your interactions all along they are a little easier.  It is a way of propping the door open, if you will.  Paving the way for your child to come to you if they ever need to.

    Still not sure what to be vigilant about or worried you won’t recognize when your child may need you but unable to tell you exactly they need you? 

    Please sign up to take our free Stewards of Children training under the CAC Protect Our Children program.  We hold them frequently.  Go to our website and sign up.  This class will teach you how to recognize and respond to child sexual abuse using five simple steps.  It is free.  It takes less than 3 hours.  

    It will give you tools to reduce the risk of sexual abuse to the children in your life.  Isn’t that worth your time?

    #BackToSchoolCAC

     

     

  • One Thing You Can Do That Matters

    One Thing You Can Do That Matters

    By Ginny Sagal, Communication & Outreach Coordinator for the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    You can’t read a newspaper or turn on a television without hearing about child sexual abuse.

    Do not feel helpless.

    There is one thing you can do that matters in addressing child sexual abuse.  You can take a child abuse prevention training through the Children’s Advocacy Center Protect Our Children Project.  

    When I read and hear these horrible stories, I think how wonderful it would be if all parents and caregivers knew how to recognize and respond to child sexual abuse.

    The Protect Our Children training guides you through 5 steps to protecting children from sexual abuse.

    The 5 Steps are:

    1. Learn the Facts: 1 in 10 children are sexually abused before the age of 18. Over 90% of them know their abuser. There is no more of this stranger danger thing. We need to go beyond that.
    2. Minimize the Opportunity: Decrease the risk of abuse by eliminating one on one situations.
    3. Talk About It: Have age appropriate, open conversations about our bodies, sex and boundaries. I think of the gymnast kids who were abused by their doctor or coach that the families had trusted.
    4. Recognize the signs: Why is this person giving gifts to my child? Why is this person always with the kids when he or she should be with the adults when we are at a party?
    5. React Responsibly: How you reacts matters. Go with your gut feeling!

    The Protect Our Children Project uses the Stewards of Children curriculum, developed by Darkness to Light.

    We believe that when adults take the class they recognized that it is all our responsibility to protect children.

    We believe that adults who take the class decrease the risk of the children in their life being sexually abused.

    The fact is that 99% of participants who take the training would recommend this training to a friend, family member or co-worker. (Study done by the University of Oregon Center for Prevention of Abuse and Neglect.)

    The Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County has partnered with The Ford Family Foundation to offer this training to anyone in Jackson County for FREE.

    Just think, in 2 to 3 short hours you can decrease the risk that a child in your life will be sexually abused. THAT IS BIG!!!

    Do one thing that Matters for the kids and teens in your life. Take a Protect our Children training.

    To register for a training for yourself or your group, business or organization go to: http://cacjc.org/services/prevention  or call Leah Howell, Protect Our Children Training Coordinator, at 541-734-5437 ext. 1013

    Ginny Sagal

  • Help kids develop healthy body boundaries

    By Leah Howell, Training Coordinator, The Protect Our Children Project of  The Children’s Adv0cacy Center of Jackson County

    One aspect of effective child sexual abuse prevention is creating a relationship with your child or other children in your care that encourages openness about their body boundaries.

    Adults should always support a child in deciding for themselves when and how they choose to show physical affection. Encouraging this autonomy establishes that the child is in control of the decisions that concern their bodies.  If a child feels uncomfortable or uneasy or resistant to physical affection, they should be encouraged to verbalize and act on it without opposition from parents or other adults.

    While taking the Stewards of Children training, participants are asked to think about how they would start a conversation with their child about establishing their body boundaries.  This is a very important ongoing discussion to have with your child.

    Many times this is an intimidating idea for parents who may not be comfortable knowing what to say, or how to start this conversation with their children. There are a number of age appropriate books and stories that will aid a parent in starting the conversation, and to help a child to understand.  This blog summarizes a number of these helpful books: https://rhythmsofplay.com/books-that-help-kids-develop-healthy-personal-boundaries/

     

     

  • Ensure your child/teen is safe in the care of a youth organization

     

    By Leah Howell, Protect Our Children Training Coordinator

    Recent headlines are almost unbelievable. Another employee from a youth serving organization has been accused of making sexual advances toward a teen. 

    It makes us wonder how this person has been allowed to join the ranks of a reputable organization. We assume that the employment screening that an organization does, in adhering to national standards, will keep our children and teens safe.  So why does it keep failing?  If these measures are, in fact, effective how do these abusive acts toward children and teens keep happening in our organizations?

    As most of us are aware, organizations are made up of humans.  Humans who at times have poor judgement, make mistakes,  and overlook problems. Pressure from others, funding difficulties, or the urgent needs of the population served may compel a leader in an organization to approve arrangements that risk the safety of the children and teens in their care.  These actions are not taken out of malicious intent, but are enacted based on difficulties in some area of the organization that cause it to stray from what is ideal.

    As clients and customers of these organization’s services, you are in a position to influence these decisions. You have the power to demand that the organization’s policies ensure the safety of your child or teen, no matter what challenges they face.

    Here are some suggestions about how to ensure your child/teen is safe in the care of an organization: 

    Step One: Get Educated– When you become educated in what should be expected of an organization who cares for your child/teen, you will know what to ask and what to look for while interacting with the organization.  Protect Our Children Stewards of Children training  is a free, 3 hour training  that informs adults about healthy policies in organizations as it relates to child-adult interactions.  We offer this training each month at the Medford Library.  In this training you will also receive a workbook with many resources that spell out exactly how an organization should conduct themselves.

    Step Two: Observe and Ask– After you have educated yourself, it is time to start observing what is going on in the organization.  For instance, do any red flags go up when you drop in for a visit? This is the time when you start asking the organization really important questions, “What are the circumstances, if any, when an adult may be one on one with a child?,” “What are your screening practices in hiring new employees?”, “Do you ever make exceptions to your stated policies?” ,”Do you provide a Code of Conduct for employees and volunteers that outlines what is and is not acceptable while working with children?” These questions, and others highlighted in the Protect Our Children Stewards of Children training, will go a long way in bringing attention to the situations that would be most dangerous for your child.  It also makes the organization aware that you are paying attention, and will be holding them accountable to their responses.

    Step Three: Evaluate– Now it is time to evaluate whether the organization is responsive and adhering to the standards that increase the safety of your child/teen, or whether they are unnecessarily exposing your child to unsafe situations and people. If you are dissatisfied with their current policies- communicate that to the leadership.  Let them know that the Protect Our Children Stewards of Children training can be brought to their site, and is offered free of charge.  We can also assist them in developing safer policies, and provide resources to help them navigate some of the challenges they may face in enacting them.

    Your child’s safety depends on your awareness and action.  We can make our community safer for our children, but it takes a proactive effort.

    Leah Howell

  • A Strong Man

    By Tammi Pitzen, Director of The Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    I will let you in on a secret. I love animated movies. I love Disney. I love Pixar. Long before I had my son, I would watch these movies . . . usually not on the big screen, but in the privacy of my own home.

    When my son became old enough to watch movies, but too young to go to the theatre, I bought every animated movie I could find. Usually these movie days ended with me watching the movie alone as my son’s attention would be diverted elsewhere — long before the movie was over.

    I think one of my favorites is the movie Barnyard. Have you seen that one? The animals can all talk but only do so when their human is not around. The main character is a cow who was found and adopted by the Patriarch Cow, Ben. This young cow, Otis, loves to party and have a good time. The Patriarch Ben is trying to teach his son the importance of work, and that being a leader means taking care of those around you.

    There is a line that is the central theme of the movie. “A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others.”

    Wow. That sums up life beautifully. We should be standing up for ourselves and modeling that behavior for our children. We need to make sure that we let people around us know what we need and to show our children that it is okay to take care of your needs and to value yourself.

    Our purpose is to take care of those who are vulnerable and speak for them until they find their voice.

    This month is Child Abuse Prevention/Awareness Month.

    Every year this is a month that turns the spotlight on child abuse victims and what adults can do to keep children safe from abuse. For the month of April we make this huge push for these things to be in the public’s eye. And then it seems it is forgotten for the rest of the year, except by those whose job it is to work to keep kids safe.

    Generally this is when I will write about a lot of statistics. Usually I would tell you that there were 707 confirmed victims of child abuse and neglect in Jackson County, Oregon last year. I would normally tell you that 1 in 10 children will be sexually abused before they turn 18. I would tell you that an estimated 400,000 babies born in the United States this year will be sexually abused before they turn 18.

    But this year I wanted to do something more hopeful. I wanted to do something that would start a movement.

    I want to challenge you to embrace Ben’s words. Every day I want you to find a way to stand up for yourself. Value yourself. Help others to value you. And I want you to take it one step further. I want you to find one thing that you can do to be stronger.

    I want you to find one thing that you will do to stand up for abused children. That adds up to a lot being done on behalf of abused children in a year’s time.

    You might be asking yourself “What Can I do?”

    I am going to make it easy for you and make some suggestions:

    • Learn to recognize the signs of child abuse

    • Make a donation to an agency that serves child abuse victims. (my favorite is the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County :-))

    • Volunteer for a program that serves children

    • Take a child abuse prevention class (The CAC of Jackson County facilitates Stewards of Children/Darkness to Light once a month and also will come to your organization to facilitate a class just for your group)

    • Let your government officials know that you support initiatives that help support child abuse victims getting the best services they can get

    • Let your government officials know that training people who investigate child abuse or work with child abuse victims and their families is a priority

    • Support initiatives like United Way of Jackson County’s Big Idea as a way to empower children to dream big and achieve goals

    • Listen to a child

    • Put a potential offender on notice by insuring you are not leaving your child alone with someone who is identified as unsafe, by knowing who your child spends time with and by insisting on background checks/references for people who will be in positions of authority (babysitters, youth serving programs etc) over your child

    • Report abuse if you suspect it

    That should get you started.

    Live your life in a way that would make Ben, the cow, proud.

    If you have not seen the movie, I strongly encourage it (with or without kids).