The Children's Advocacy Center of Jackson County

Tag: Darkness to Light

  • TAKE ACTION in 2020: Make a plan to do these 5 things to keep kids safe

     

     

    By Summer Lewis, Internet/Social Media Contractor for the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    The beginning of a new year is a great time to regroup, reevaluate and recommit to a new plan of action for protecting your kids from abuse. By knowing what to do and making a few simple changes, you can effectively and dramatically reduce the risk your children will be sexually abused.

    Here are 5 actions you can take this year to jump-start your plan to prevent child abuse from impacting your family.

    1. BE AWARE:

    Begin by taking a critical look at your closest relationships — friends, family members, caregivers and any other adults in your child’s life. Accept the uncomfortable reality that your children are more likely to be abused by someone they know (and you trust.) Trust your gut and take action to minimize opportunities and/or remove any safety threats. Particularly avoid one-on-one child/adult situations. More here: https://www.d2l.org/education/5-steps/step-2/

    1. TALK:

    Talk openly and often about sexual abuse with your children. Use age appropriate language to talk about bodies and boundaries. Use everyday opportunities to start conversations. It can be awkward, uncomfortable and easy to put off. Don’t! If you need help about how to get started or what to say or do, visit: https://www.d2l.org/education/5-steps/step-3/

    1. STAY INVOLVED:

    Commit to staying closely involved with everything happening in your child’s life. Know and interact with every person that your child has contact with – other families, parents, teachers, coaches, any other adults and older children. Volunteer, participate, and attend. It will foster a closer relationship with your child, which is a protective factor for abuse, and it put predators on notice that you are watching. You can even tell people you have taken a child abuse prevention training and know how to recognize abuse, and that your child knows about body boundaries and to tell you if they are crossed.

    1. MONITOR:

    Keep computers in an easily view-able central location in your home. Have a rule that children may never give out this info online: name, phone #, email address, street address, password, picture, school. Remember internet technology can be mobile, so monitor cell phones, laptops, tablets and gaming devices. When it comes to internet safety, however, research shows that talking to kids about the reality and dangers of being online and teaching critical thinking is more protective than spying. For more on internet safety and discussion starters, visit: http://www.netsmartz.org/internetsafety

    1. GET TRAINED:

    Carve out some time for and commit to taking the short, free PROTECT OUR CHILDREN child abuse prevention training the CAC offers. You’ll learn about warnings signs of abuse, how to prevent abuse and how to react responsibly if you suspect abuse. Find out more and sign up for a training here: http://cacjc.org/trainings/protectourchildren/

    Congratulations on being proactive by creating an action plan to keep your children safe from sexual abuse!

    Summer Lewis

     

     

     

     

  • 10 ways to keep children safe from abuse this holiday season

     

    By Betsy Lewis, Social Media Contractor for the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    The holidays are coming, and families and friends will be gathering together to celebrate.

    Unfortunately, the holiday season is also the time of year when all types of child abuse increase.

    And it is those we know, these very family members and friends, who are the ones most likely to abuse our children.

    Here are some startling facts:

    ·        90% of children are abused by someone they know.

    ·        80% of sexual abuse occurs in one child – one adult situations.

    ·        30% of all child sexual abuse is perpetrated by other youth.

    Put these facts together with the hectic holiday season, where adults and children are thrown together, regular schedules are in flux, parents are often stressed and distracted, and you can see why kids are at greater risk this time of year.

    How can you protect your children? Darkness to Light/Stewards of Children, the curriculum we use in our Protect Our Children Trainings, calls it “Minimize Opportunity”

    Here are suggestions for your holiday season that will minimize the opportunities for abuse:

    1.      Choose group situations and have multiple adults supervise children.

    2.      Scan the physical environment for hidden areas and correct dangers.

    3.      Make sure interactions are observed and interrupted.

    4.      Remember older youth should not be in isolated, one-on-one situations with younger children.

    5.      Talk to kids about body boundaries (immediately, frequently and all year long.) Tell them they do not have to give or receive hugs, kisses, or other affection. Tell them to talk to you if anyone crosses their body boundaries. If your child tells you that he doesn’t want to be around a particular person or participate in a particular outing, take her or him seriously.

    6.      Avoid one child – one adult situations. If you do have to leave your child alone with someone, make it “observable and interruptible.” Let the adult know that you could return at any time, that you and your child are educated about child sexual abuse and that you have taught your child to tell you if there are body boundary violations.

    7.      Have a household open door policy – no interior doors are to be shut.

    8.      Make sure all outings, games and activities are observable by you or others.

    9.      Make any interactions with older children observable by multiple adults.

    10.   Be aware of “roughhousing.” Know that tickling, poking the stomach, patting the butt or knees, rubbing shoulders, can all be part of the grooming process.

    This is a hard truth and can be difficult to hear and accept: You cannot trust anyone 100% and no one is exempt, not even the closest, most beloved family members.

    Additionally, be sure to manage your own stress level and drug and alcohol use so you can be alert and aware. Most importantly, go with your instincts. Pay attention and take the necessary steps to correct any dangers if anything bothers you about someone who spends time with your child.

    The best way to keep the holidays a beautiful and magical experience and memory is to take good care of you and yours. You matter!

     

    Betsy Lewis

     

  • One Thing You Can Do That Matters

    One Thing You Can Do That Matters

    By Ginny Sagal, Communication & Outreach Coordinator for the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    You can’t read a newspaper or turn on a television without hearing about child sexual abuse.

    Do not feel helpless.

    There is one thing you can do that matters in addressing child sexual abuse.  You can take a child abuse prevention training through the Children’s Advocacy Center Protect Our Children Project.  

    When I read and hear these horrible stories, I think how wonderful it would be if all parents and caregivers knew how to recognize and respond to child sexual abuse.

    The Protect Our Children training guides you through 5 steps to protecting children from sexual abuse.

    The 5 Steps are:

    1. Learn the Facts: 1 in 10 children are sexually abused before the age of 18. Over 90% of them know their abuser. There is no more of this stranger danger thing. We need to go beyond that.
    2. Minimize the Opportunity: Decrease the risk of abuse by eliminating one on one situations.
    3. Talk About It: Have age appropriate, open conversations about our bodies, sex and boundaries. I think of the gymnast kids who were abused by their doctor or coach that the families had trusted.
    4. Recognize the signs: Why is this person giving gifts to my child? Why is this person always with the kids when he or she should be with the adults when we are at a party?
    5. React Responsibly: How you reacts matters. Go with your gut feeling!

    The Protect Our Children Project uses the Stewards of Children curriculum, developed by Darkness to Light.

    We believe that when adults take the class they recognized that it is all our responsibility to protect children.

    We believe that adults who take the class decrease the risk of the children in their life being sexually abused.

    The fact is that 99% of participants who take the training would recommend this training to a friend, family member or co-worker. (Study done by the University of Oregon Center for Prevention of Abuse and Neglect.)

    The Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County has partnered with The Ford Family Foundation to offer this training to anyone in Jackson County for FREE.

    Just think, in 2 to 3 short hours you can decrease the risk that a child in your life will be sexually abused. THAT IS BIG!!!

    Do one thing that Matters for the kids and teens in your life. Take a Protect our Children training.

    To register for a training for yourself or your group, business or organization go to: http://cacjc.org/services/prevention  or call Leah Howell, Protect Our Children Training Coordinator, at 541-734-5437 ext. 1013

    Ginny Sagal

  • A Strong Man

    By Tammi Pitzen, Director of The Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    I will let you in on a secret. I love animated movies. I love Disney. I love Pixar. Long before I had my son, I would watch these movies . . . usually not on the big screen, but in the privacy of my own home.

    When my son became old enough to watch movies, but too young to go to the theatre, I bought every animated movie I could find. Usually these movie days ended with me watching the movie alone as my son’s attention would be diverted elsewhere — long before the movie was over.

    I think one of my favorites is the movie Barnyard. Have you seen that one? The animals can all talk but only do so when their human is not around. The main character is a cow who was found and adopted by the Patriarch Cow, Ben. This young cow, Otis, loves to party and have a good time. The Patriarch Ben is trying to teach his son the importance of work, and that being a leader means taking care of those around you.

    There is a line that is the central theme of the movie. “A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others.”

    Wow. That sums up life beautifully. We should be standing up for ourselves and modeling that behavior for our children. We need to make sure that we let people around us know what we need and to show our children that it is okay to take care of your needs and to value yourself.

    Our purpose is to take care of those who are vulnerable and speak for them until they find their voice.

    This month is Child Abuse Prevention/Awareness Month.

    Every year this is a month that turns the spotlight on child abuse victims and what adults can do to keep children safe from abuse. For the month of April we make this huge push for these things to be in the public’s eye. And then it seems it is forgotten for the rest of the year, except by those whose job it is to work to keep kids safe.

    Generally this is when I will write about a lot of statistics. Usually I would tell you that there were 707 confirmed victims of child abuse and neglect in Jackson County, Oregon last year. I would normally tell you that 1 in 10 children will be sexually abused before they turn 18. I would tell you that an estimated 400,000 babies born in the United States this year will be sexually abused before they turn 18.

    But this year I wanted to do something more hopeful. I wanted to do something that would start a movement.

    I want to challenge you to embrace Ben’s words. Every day I want you to find a way to stand up for yourself. Value yourself. Help others to value you. And I want you to take it one step further. I want you to find one thing that you can do to be stronger.

    I want you to find one thing that you will do to stand up for abused children. That adds up to a lot being done on behalf of abused children in a year’s time.

    You might be asking yourself “What Can I do?”

    I am going to make it easy for you and make some suggestions:

    • Learn to recognize the signs of child abuse

    • Make a donation to an agency that serves child abuse victims. (my favorite is the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County :-))

    • Volunteer for a program that serves children

    • Take a child abuse prevention class (The CAC of Jackson County facilitates Stewards of Children/Darkness to Light once a month and also will come to your organization to facilitate a class just for your group)

    • Let your government officials know that you support initiatives that help support child abuse victims getting the best services they can get

    • Let your government officials know that training people who investigate child abuse or work with child abuse victims and their families is a priority

    • Support initiatives like United Way of Jackson County’s Big Idea as a way to empower children to dream big and achieve goals

    • Listen to a child

    • Put a potential offender on notice by insuring you are not leaving your child alone with someone who is identified as unsafe, by knowing who your child spends time with and by insisting on background checks/references for people who will be in positions of authority (babysitters, youth serving programs etc) over your child

    • Report abuse if you suspect it

    That should get you started.

    Live your life in a way that would make Ben, the cow, proud.

    If you have not seen the movie, I strongly encourage it (with or without kids).