Tag: Child Abuse Prevention Month

  • A Tale of Two Kids: Why CAC Matters

    A True Story by Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of The Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    I want to tell you a story today of a child. A child that I know.

    She is not a child that had the benefit of receiving services through the Children’s Advocacy Center (CAC).

    But she is why I believe in the CAC.

    I met her when she was six. I was 22 and a child protection investigator. She was the most beautiful blond-haired blue-eyed child I had ever seen. I wish that I could say that the day I met her was the day that her abuse stopped. But that is not the case. I wish that I could say that I was the first child protection worker that she met. I was not.

    When I interviewed her about her abuse — she was silent. She could talk. She had ten seconds earlier called me some very colorful names that I am sure she had heard some adult in her life use to describe my comrades, the previous workers who had paraded in and out of her house.

    I visited her at her elementary school. She had been interviewed at school before. She had been interviewed in her home. She had been interviewed at other schools by other workers. The police had interviewed her on scene several times while responding to calls of domestic violence.

    She never spoke.

    Reports flowed in on a monthly, sometimes weekly basis. Soon the school counselor bypassed the reporting line and called me directly. She stopped me in the grocery store on the weekends. She called my home number. She had no one else to call.

    This child, this beautiful little girl, was described as feral in some reports. She had behavioral issues. She was aggressive. She screamed. She was dirty. She smelled so bad that her classmates would not sit next to her. She constantly had bathroom accidents—either because she could not control it or did not want to control it. She “binged” in the cafeteria because she was starving.

    I spent hours pouring over records — alone in my office. Across town, there was a doctor who was concerned as well. We were trying to figure it out with only the pieces of the puzzle that we had in front of us.

    It took six months to find enough “evidence” that she was at risk and that she and her siblings should be placed in DHS custody. In time we came to learn that, in addition to the years of physical abuse and neglect, she had been sexually abused by multiple family members. The last time I saw this child, she was 10 years old. She was getting therapy. She was in a special foster home. She had had three psychiatric stays in one of the best treatment centers in the country. She had blown through too many foster homes to count.

    Her story is a long and sad one. I carry it around in my heart and there are few days that I do not think about her. Not one incident of abuse committed against her was prosecuted.

    I want to tell you of another child. He too is a child that I know.

    He did have the benefit of the CAC.

    He was four when I met him. I was . . well, a lot older than 22. I met him when he visited me at the CAC. He came to tell his story. He entered very scared — clinging to his mom’s leg. He went into what I call “the little room”, which is an interview room equipped with audio and video recording equipment. He was very shy at first, but as he answered the questions and became comfortable and safe, he very BOLDLY told his story of abuse.

    His mom received support from the Center staff. He only had to tell his story one time and then one more time in court. He got to meet the DHS case worker, the police officer, and a very nice nurse. He called them his “team”. He left the CAC smiling ear to ear.

    He sat at the table talking to me. I will never forget a conversation that he and I had while eating animal crackers at a table. He asked me “What is this place called?” I told him that it was the Children’s Advocacy Center. “It’s a place that kids can come and talk.”

    He told me proudly, “I talked!”

    He sat there smiling at me for a minute. He then looked very serious and told me that he did not talk when the lady came to school. I reassured him that was okay. He told me that it was too scary to talk at school.

    He was seen for a medical exam. He shared with me that his body was okay! He then got an angry look on his face, and said that Jim “lied to him.” Jim told him that his body was “broken”.

    This young man came to court with his suit and tie on. He testified and did a fantastic job. He was six. After court he unbuttoned his shirt to show me that he had a superman t-shirt on. His offender is in prison today with very little hope of ever getting out again.

    What a contrast in these two stories.

    I have seen proof that when we as professionals work together we have better outcomes for our families.

    I have seen proof that in communities where CACs exists there are better outcomes for children, families and the community itself.

  • Does child abuse happen in our state? In Jackson County?

    By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    April is child abuse prevention/awareness month.  This is my traditional April Blog recognizing and focusing on the problem of child abuse.

    I was doing a little research to see what was going on in the world of child abuse.  I found a page on the internet that is nothing but stories of child abuse.  They are all true.  They are all recent.  They are all heartbreaking.

    One tells of a child whose father found out she was having sex and so, as punishment, forced her to become a prostitute at a truck stop.  There are stories of child fatalities; there are stories of parents beating their children.  It is quite disturbing.  It is a true crime website.  I was simply looking for some compelling story to blog about and found a whole site.  All from 2017.

    Some will say that those horrible things do not happen in Oregon.  Those things happen in other countries or other parts of this country. Sadly, this is not accurate.

    There were 964 children abused in Jackson County in 2016.  In the state of Oregon, there were 27 child abuse fatalities.  21 of those were perpetrated by a parent or parent figure.  All 27 of the children who died knew their abuser.  We call it child abuse fatalities, and as awful as that sounds, it does not sound as awful as murder.  We look for words that are softer to describe these heinous acts.

    Child abuse happens in Oregon.  Child abuse happens in Jackson County. 

    The foster parent shortage that has been reported on is not just in other parts of the state.  It is here in our county as well.

    This is not someone else’s problem.  It is ours. The problem has been long established.  What isn’t as clear, is the solution.

    How do we make a meaningful impact?  Where is the catchy child abuse slogan?  You know…like the “War on Drugs” or “No Child Left Behind”.  Where is the rally cry to help keep kids safe from the dangers that lurk within their own homes?

    People who work in the field of child abuse; particularly those who work in prevention, joke about “working themselves out of a job” and “putting the CAC out of business”.  It is a good goal.  But where is the rally cry?  These of course are rhetorical questions.  Unless you have an actual answer.  Then I am all ears!

    There are things that you can do all year long…..long after April has ended. You can:

    • Find an agency that helps to protect children and support them in any way you can. If you can’t donate money, then donate time and talent.  Nonprofit agencies are quite adept at leveraging whatever your gift is, with other gifts, to create the biggest impact.
    • If you suspect abuse, make a report–even if it feels uncomfortable or even if you are unsure. The professionals will figure it out. You don’t have to figure it out.
    • Not sure what abuse looks like? Take a training on recognizing abuse.  The CAC of Jackson County offers several opportunities, either through our Protect Our Children program or through other offerings such as Responding to Allegations of Child Maltreatment offered this May. Register here: https://tinyurl.com/kwm6qx5
    • Do you see a mom or a dad struggling? Offer to help.
    • Let your legislative representatives know that children and child abuse is a priority for you and you want it to be their priority as well—both at the state and federal level.
    • You can change the conversation from “Why didn’t she tell?” to “Why did he do that?”
    • You can become a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) and learn how to advocate for children in the foster care system. We have hundreds of children on a waiting list right now who need an advocate.
    • You can teach your children, your grandchildren, your nieces and nephews, your neighbor’s child — all the children in your life — who is allowed to touch what part of their bodies and under what circumstance.
    • You can tell the adults in your life that your child is off limits by being present, by asking the right questions, and by staying in tuned and attentive to your child. If an offender knows you are watching and vigilant, it makes your child less accessible to them.

    You can STOP saying Not My Child; Not My Problem.

     

     

  • Change for Children: Our 3 Agency Collaborative Brainchild

    Change for Children: Our 3 Agency Collaborative Brainchild

    By Jennifer Mylenek, Executive Director of CASA of Jackson and Josephine Counties

    The month of April represents Child Abuse Awareness, which helps shine a spotlight on the tragic circumstances of hundreds of thousands of abused and/or neglected children in the U.S.  It is also a month in which I’m honored to be a part of a rich collaborative of child-serving agencies that have joined together to raise awareness and funds to support our strong linkage of services provided to abused children in Jackson County.   

    The Children’s Advocacy Center, CASA of Jackson County, and The Family Nurturing Center are three cornerstone non-profit agencies that support the needs of marginalized, abused, and/or neglected children in various ways with the common goal of ensuring every child can be safe from harm, thrive in a stable/loving home, have equal educational opportunities, and heal from abuse.

    The three agencies are led by strong and experienced Executive Directors who realized that together, we can do much more for our children. 

    Working across agencies has always been our practice when we have shared child clients, but April brought us together in a bigger way.  The subject of child abuse awareness is challenging to promote.  Most people would rather turn away than accept that it is going on in our county in an epidemic-like fashion. 

    We knew we could raise more awareness with the larger footprint of our three agencies shining a coordinated light.

    Change for Children was our brainchild and began last April in a small way.  Today we have seen a significant surge in community support and with our combined staff pitching in to raise the flag on child abuse, much is getting done.  Not to mention we found we all work really well together!

    I think you’ll agree that recognizing there’s a problem is the first step toward solving the problem, but stepping in to be part of the solution will lift your spirits to new heights, I guarantee it. 

    • You can help by simply eating out at the establishments supporting us below 
    • You can volunteer at one or more of our three agencies: CAC, CASA, Family Nurturing Center 
    • You can sign up for the PROTECT OUR CHILDREN training to learn how to prevent child abuse 
    • You can look into becoming a foster parent
    • You can thank our thoughtful sponsors by supporting their businesses
    • You can text C4C to 71777 to make a donation which will be shared by our three agencies

    If you’re already helping a child or children in some way, thank you. 

    There is no greater gift than to see a smile on a child’s face or to know you made a positive difference in their life.

     

     

  • It’s 32 Degrees and this Child is Wearing Flip Flops

    By Ginny Sagal, Communication & Outreach Coordinator, The Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    When I was working at the schools teaching science, I saw a lot: Watching when the seasons changed who was wearing flip flops when the temperature was 32 degrees. Which child would come to school without a jacket and wearing shorts and a short sleeve t-shirt?  I was watching for the ones who had no snack at recess time.   Who was the one child who was always losing his or her homework because he or she did not have a backpack?

    It was very clear to me that I had a job as a teacher, advocate and protector of the children.

    I had kids sometimes come up to me and ask me who was going to pick them up that day — I was also the bus lady – or at whose house were they going to stay for the weekend. Yes, they were given a breakfast and lunch at school provided by the school administration, but were they going to get dinner and where were they going to sleep at night?

    The acting out in class sometimes would be the fear of the unknown or some dark secret they were keeping. I was their protector watching and observing them. I was able to give my supervisor the information they needed so that a child could get the help and services they needed and deserved.

    At the CAC, I am a protector of the children by reaching out to others to get engaged in our efforts to prevent child abuse.

    This month is Child Abuse Prevention and Awareness Month. Let’s all be protectors of the children. Let’s all remember that:

    ·        ALL CHILDREN NEED TO BE PROTECTED

    ·        ALL CHILDREN NEED FOOD AND SHELTER

    ·        ALL CHILDREN NEED KIND AND UNDERSTANDING ADULTS IN THEIR LIVES

    For more about April’s Child Abuse Prevention and Awareness Month and local activities, visit: http://cacjc.org/child-abuse-prevention-month/

     

     

  • How reporting abuse saved a boy’s life

    By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    I worry that children who face trauma inflicted on them by their parent or trusted adult might never become inspired, but stay defeated.

    When I was a case worker, I would often wonder why some children who suffer enormous abuse go on and accomplish great things and others spiral into self-destruction or destruction of others.  If you lined up two case records next to each other…they may read the same, but have very different outcomes for the children.

    I once asked one of the young people I worked with, who not only survived in the aftermath of his abuse — but thrived, why was it that he did so well when others in similar circumstances did not. 

    I really didn’t expect an answer.  It was a deep discussion we were having over pizza after his 8th grade graduation.  He looked at me shrugged and didn’t answer at first. I had attended the ceremony and we were out celebrating his accomplishment. They had sung a song at their graduation.  Maybe some of you remember this song, “I Believe I Can Fly”.  It was corny.  It was expected. It was what you did at eighth grade graduation ceremonies.

    He fidgeted a bit.  He dropped his eyes.  I smiled at him in the awkwardness.  I went on to tell him I knew he was going to do great things.  I didn’t mean to put him on the spot.  I let him know I just wanted to know what could be different for those kids who aren’t doing okay, who are in similar situations.  I apologized for making him feel uncomfortable.

    He slowly began to talk and I got very quiet and listened intently.  He told me that he didn’t feel like he was doing okay.  He was surviving.  He was focused on getting through.  He told me he felt like a fake because, when he sang with his classmates, he didn’t believe he could fly.

    I actually fought back my tears in order to keep this conversation with this young man going without distracting him with my own feelings…in my head questioning why I ever started this conversation.  We sat in silence a little longer eating pizza.  He looked at me and he said he thought the difference…the thing that made him different was that someone thought he was worth it.  I smiled.  I actually for a moment thought he was talking about me.  I thought he was talking about that I thought he was worth it. I was young and still full of ego.

    He went on to explain that whoever called in his abuse saved his life. 

    If they didn’t save him from being beaten to death, they surely saved him from ending his life prematurely.  He told me he had no idea who it was.  He talked about how if someone took the time to save him, then he felt like there must have been something worth saving.  The only way he knew to repay that debt was to move on and do something with his life.  He said he only had two choices:  to begin to believe in himself or to totally come undone. 

    We left that pizza parlor with the radio blasting, singing “I Believe I Can Fly” at the top of our lungs.  I am sure that was a sight to see and probably worse to hear.

    I took him back to his foster home.  Not long after that, I think he went to live with a relative.  I moved on to another case and another child, but not before reading through his file to see who had made the report.

    It was a teacher. 

    It was a teacher that I had met that day at the graduation.  According to the report, the teacher had actually made two other reports that didn’t get assigned, before the final concern that led to this child being removed.

    I reached out to that teacher to thank her for making the report.  I wanted her to know that her phone call saved a life.  While talking to her on the phone, she burst into tears.  She asked me which child I was talking about.  She had made a dozen calls dealing with dozens of children during the school year.

    I told her I had made a mistake.  She had saved a dozen lives.

    I could hear her releasing her breath very slow and could hear a small sob on the other end of the line.  She quietly said thank you and then went on to relate a story of how a colleague always tried to talk her out of making those calls.  The argument was always that kids want to stay with their parents, kids won’t talk anyway, you don’t want to ruin a life by making a mistake…all the familiar reasons.

    I encouraged her to always make that calls.  To make it because her students mattered.  To make the call because abuse victims suffer in silence and need someone to stand up on their behalf.  To make that call because they need to know they are worth the ten minutes it might take to make a report.

    What is the take away? 

    As April’s Child Abuse Awareness/Prevention month draws near — remember that every child counts.

    Remember that your call may save a life. If you suspect abuse report it.

    Every child is worth it.

     

  • Child Abuse: A greater incident rate than cancer

    By Tammi Pitzen, Executive Director of The Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    April is Child Abuse Prevention month.  This is the time of year that we use to spread the word about the social and public health issue that plagues our children.  Many people do not generally think about child abuse unless they work in the field or have had it impact their family.

    In the United States, four children die every day as a result of child abuse or neglect. 

    Some reports say that statistic is low and is actually closer to five a day.  Most reports state that a large number of those dying are under the age of one.  One report states that 79% of the children that die as a result of abuse and neglect are under the age of three. That seems incredible!  It is frightening!  It seems epidemic.

    In 2014, according to the Oregon Child Welfare Data Book, 13 children died as a result of abuse or neglect.  There were 10,010 child abuse victims and 46.4% of those victims were under the age of six. Of incidents of abuse, 44.2% were incidents of neglect, 7.1% physical abuse, 6.3% sexual abuse, 1.5% mental injury and 40 % were considered threat of harm which could be related to domestic violence, drug use, sexual abuse, mental injury, or physical abuse.

    This is not happening in some far off place.  This is happening in Oregon.

    Nationally, reports indicate that somewhere in the neighborhood of 90% of perpetrators of abuse are known by the children they abuse. They are people who are considered family or family-like.

    The incidence rate of child abuse and neglect in this country is about ten times as high (40 children per thousand children per year) as the incidence rate for all forms of cancer (3.9 individuals per thousand individuals per year).  This statistic is attributed to The Leadership Council on Child Abuse and Interpersonal Violence.

    I am also a supporter of cancer research, but when you think about it in terms of our addressing an issue equally in terms of importance; we do not put our money behind child abuse prevention. Not only do we not put our money behind child abuse prevention, we do not put our mouth behind it either.

    While cancer is usually talked about in hushed tones, child abuse is rarely talked about at all. 

    In doing a google search for the top public health issue, child abuse does not even rank in most of the articles I read.  Yet, if we look at the statistics of founded cases on both a national and state level, one can see it is clearly an issue that needs to be addressed.

    Many people do not want to get “involved” in a situation that is considered “family business” by making a report.  Others fear retribution if they make a report.

    Recently, I spoke to a friend who had made report on behalf of a young family member.  It has turned her family upside down.  There has been much anger, fear, and anxiety experienced by all involved—the reporter, the perpetrator, the victim, those who support the perpetrator and those who support the victim.  It is hard when you love both the victim and the perpetrator.

    This friend is a hero of mine.  In spite of all the chaos that ensued after the report was made, she has stood strong.  She made the report.  She protected the children involved.  She has not stopped there.  She is making it her business to protect all children.

    While these statistics make some feel that it is hopeless, it isn’t.  There are some things that we could all do.

    Here is my top ten list in random order:

    • Learn to recognize and respond to the signs of abuse. (Take a Protect Our Children class or host one for a group of your friends.)
    • When you see something that does not seem right, make a report to DHS or law enforcement.
    • Support those who make a disclosure of abuse. This can be as simple as not calling them a liar.
    • Put everyone in your life on notice that you will not tolerate child abuse of any kind.
    • Contact your elected officials on local, state, and national level and tell them keeping children safe from abuse is a priority for you.
    • Vote for candidates that make children a priority.
    • Donate your time, talent or treasure to an organization that works to protect children from abuse.
    • Talk to the children in your life about what abuse is and what they should do if something happens to them. (This should include all kinds of abuse…bullying, sexual abuse, physical abuse, and emotional abuse.)
    • BE PRESENT IN YOUR CHILD’S LIFE.
    • When you see a parent struggling with their children in a public place, offer support instead of judgement.

    If you want to learn more about any of these, to include learning “how” to do these,  contact the Children’s Advocacy Center.  If there is enough interest we will schedule a special class.

    Here is a list of some fun activities you can participate in to let your community know that you will not stand for child abuse:

    *Ongoing: The Change for Children Campaign will be taking place throughout the community.

    This is an exciting collaborative project between, CASA, Children’s Advocacy Center and The Family Nurturing Center.  Look for Change for Children donation jars at: The Butcher Shop, all Lithia car dealerships, Wamba Juice, Central Art Supply, Jackson Creek Pizza, Thai Bistro and Sunrise Cafe.

    *April 16th: Panda Express Fundraiser

    *April 23rd:  Gamble for Good Poker Tournament Fundraiser

    *April 25th:  Protect Our Children Child Abuse Prevention Training

    *April 27th and 28th: Recognizing and Responding to Child Abuse Training – Contact Ginny Sagal at: vsagal@cacjc.org for more information or to register

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • Parenting Teens: A Mom’s Story

    By Ginny Sagal, Communication and Outreach Coordinator at the Children’s Advocacy Center

    Since starting my job as Communication and Outreach Coordinator at CAC, I have had some thoughts about my parenting.  Being an older mom with twins has been a wonderful journey.  When they were little I would be very careful where they went for play dates, and who was going to be at the house.  I knew it was my job to protect them. That was some time ago.

    As a parent of teenagers ready to go off to college in a year and a half, things are much different than when they were little.  No more play dates as they all seem to communicate with their friends on the internet.  I will walk into my son’s room only to find that he is online playing a game with five of his friends.  The new generation spends much time communicating with their peers online and texting.

    I am happy that when I do go into my son’s or daughter’s rooms that they can share with me what they are doing and have no secrets.  When they are on FaceTime their friends get to see me and I get to see who they are.  Communication is very important with teenagers.  It is important to let them know that you care and that you give them their space, but also that you are there for them if they need you.  You are their protector.

    I know with the parenting I have done, they will make good choices about who they will choose to be friends with and groups they will be part of once they get to college.  Protecting our children comes from good parenting and communication with your children.

    April is Child Abuse Prevention Month.  Every child is special and needs our care and protection.  With good parenting tools we can contribute to a safer community for our children.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • April ~ A Month to Honor Children

    By Michelle Wilson

    April is Child Abuse Prevention Month. It is a month to honor children everywhere, those who have been harmed and those we hope to protect.

    It is also National Poetry Month.

    For this blog, I want to share a poem by a woman I had the great fortune to meet and hear read her works many years ago, when I was a graduate student studying poetry. The poem talks of the meaning of life, of poetry, and the simple belief that children have in finding meaning in the world around them.

    The poem is one of my favorites, and I think it is because it simply celebrates life through the eyes of children, in a way that reminds me to keep looking for good all around me.

    Last week I stood in a park in downtown Medford, listening to stories of horrible abuse of young children and teens who live right here, in our neighborhoods and in our city. I stood with many other adults and honored the 707 young victims of abuse in Jackson County in 2015.

    I took this poem with me, in my mind and heart. I held its simple reminder to believe in meaning all around me and in the wonder and certainty that all children have when they are born that the world is safe, a place of hidden secrets and delights.

    I hold this belief that there is meaning in what we do – on behalf of children, on behalf of all who are hurt and suffering, on behalf of all of the families who come through our center needing help during some of the most difficult times of their lives.

    Thank you, Denise Levertov, for finding me today with this poem, much like the young girls here found you, found meaning in your words. I offer this now in honor of this month celebrating the lives of children and the wisdom of poetry.

    The Secret

    By Denise Levertov

    Two girls discover   the secret of life (2)

     

     

     

  • A Strong Man

    By Tammi Pitzen, Director of The Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County

    I will let you in on a secret. I love animated movies. I love Disney. I love Pixar. Long before I had my son, I would watch these movies . . . usually not on the big screen, but in the privacy of my own home.

    When my son became old enough to watch movies, but too young to go to the theatre, I bought every animated movie I could find. Usually these movie days ended with me watching the movie alone as my son’s attention would be diverted elsewhere — long before the movie was over.

    I think one of my favorites is the movie Barnyard. Have you seen that one? The animals can all talk but only do so when their human is not around. The main character is a cow who was found and adopted by the Patriarch Cow, Ben. This young cow, Otis, loves to party and have a good time. The Patriarch Ben is trying to teach his son the importance of work, and that being a leader means taking care of those around you.

    There is a line that is the central theme of the movie. “A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others.”

    Wow. That sums up life beautifully. We should be standing up for ourselves and modeling that behavior for our children. We need to make sure that we let people around us know what we need and to show our children that it is okay to take care of your needs and to value yourself.

    Our purpose is to take care of those who are vulnerable and speak for them until they find their voice.

    This month is Child Abuse Prevention/Awareness Month.

    Every year this is a month that turns the spotlight on child abuse victims and what adults can do to keep children safe from abuse. For the month of April we make this huge push for these things to be in the public’s eye. And then it seems it is forgotten for the rest of the year, except by those whose job it is to work to keep kids safe.

    Generally this is when I will write about a lot of statistics. Usually I would tell you that there were 707 confirmed victims of child abuse and neglect in Jackson County, Oregon last year. I would normally tell you that 1 in 10 children will be sexually abused before they turn 18. I would tell you that an estimated 400,000 babies born in the United States this year will be sexually abused before they turn 18.

    But this year I wanted to do something more hopeful. I wanted to do something that would start a movement.

    I want to challenge you to embrace Ben’s words. Every day I want you to find a way to stand up for yourself. Value yourself. Help others to value you. And I want you to take it one step further. I want you to find one thing that you can do to be stronger.

    I want you to find one thing that you will do to stand up for abused children. That adds up to a lot being done on behalf of abused children in a year’s time.

    You might be asking yourself “What Can I do?”

    I am going to make it easy for you and make some suggestions:

    • Learn to recognize the signs of child abuse

    • Make a donation to an agency that serves child abuse victims. (my favorite is the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County :-))

    • Volunteer for a program that serves children

    • Take a child abuse prevention class (The CAC of Jackson County facilitates Stewards of Children/Darkness to Light once a month and also will come to your organization to facilitate a class just for your group)

    • Let your government officials know that you support initiatives that help support child abuse victims getting the best services they can get

    • Let your government officials know that training people who investigate child abuse or work with child abuse victims and their families is a priority

    • Support initiatives like United Way of Jackson County’s Big Idea as a way to empower children to dream big and achieve goals

    • Listen to a child

    • Put a potential offender on notice by insuring you are not leaving your child alone with someone who is identified as unsafe, by knowing who your child spends time with and by insisting on background checks/references for people who will be in positions of authority (babysitters, youth serving programs etc) over your child

    • Report abuse if you suspect it

    That should get you started.

    Live your life in a way that would make Ben, the cow, proud.

    If you have not seen the movie, I strongly encourage it (with or without kids).

     

  • Only Love Sets Us Free

    By Michelle Wilson, CAC Development Director

    We received a lot of responses to the sharing of the poem “I Just Wanted to Tell You” by one of our therapists, Catherine Zern, LCSW. Many people were touched by the story she shared in this piece of a child reaching for love and guidance.

    The poem was a tribute to the hundreds of children and teens who come through our center each year and to all who are suffering from abuse, neglect, loneliness, and fear.

    In this post I want to share another poem, one by Maya Angelou. It is one of my favorites of her work and it is a follow up to the story of the child in the poem by Catherine. It is a poem about love and, for me, it is about the kind of love that gives us courage and opens our hearts to those who need us to be brave.

    It is a poem about how and why we continue to do what we do for children and those whose lives are shadowed by fear and suffering. It is about the reason and the pathway to helping children and teens, even when things feel hopeless.

    April is Child Abuse Prevention Month, and as we prepare for that, I will hold this poem in my mind and heart. I share it as a reminder for us all of the reason and the pathway.

    And I share it as a tribute to the “angels” who come to us at the center and to the angels within each one of us.

    Touched By An Angel
    By Maya Angelou

    We, unaccustomed to courage
    Exiles from delight
    Live coiled in shells of loneliness
    Until love leaves its high holy temple
    And comes into our sight
    To liberate us into life.

    Love arrives
    And in its train come ecstasies
    Old memories of pleasure
    Ancient histories of pain.
    Yet if we are bold,
    Love strikes away the chains of fear
    From our souls.

    We are weaned from our timidity
    In the flush of love’s light
    We dare to be brave
    And suddenly we see
    That love costs all we are
    And will ever be.
    Yet it is only love
    Which sets us free.