By Betsy Lewis, Internet and Social Media Contractor for the Children’s Advocacy Center of Jackson County
I don’t know about you, but back when I was a parent in the 1980s and ‘90s I didn’t know much about child abuse or how to prevent it.
I just assumed it wouldn’t happen to my kids – because I wouldn’t let it. But to be honest, if you had asked me how I would not let this happen, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you. The only thing I did back then was to tell my kids not to go with strangers – better known as “Stranger Danger.”
I figured since I was a good parent and we lived in a nice neighborhood in a family-oriented community – that this wouldn’t be a concern. I believed child abuse happened somewhere else. I sent my kids freely to various summer camps, enrolled them in sports and let them go to their friends’ homes and sleep-overs where I only knew the host families superficially. I grew up this way and my parents did the same thing.
NOW, as part of the CAC, I am dismayed by how irresponsible this was.
What I know today is that 1 in 10 kids will be abuse before their 18st birthday and that child sexual abuse happens EVERYWHERE – that it doesn’t matter if you are a good parent, live in a nice neighborhood, have good friends or a close family.
Here is what I know now:
- 90% of child abuse victims are abused by someone they know.
- 60% of abusers are acquaintances — like teachers, neighbors, or community leaders.
- 30% of abusers are immediate or extended family.
- Only 10% of abusers are STRANGERS to the child.
Now that I am a grandparent, I want something different for my 9-year-old grandson. I want to do better. I want to make sure he is protected. I want to get it right for him.
Last year, I invited my 28-year-old daughter (the mother of said 9-year-old grandson) to attend a free PROTECT OUR CHILDREN child abuse prevention training with me. She is a wonderful mom and I am very proud of her, but I wanted her to know and do more about child abuse than I did as her mother. I wanted her to be better informed than I was.
The two of us set down together at a free training at the Medford library — on behalf of this little boy we both love — learning how to keep him safe. Then we had a nice dinner out and talked about what we had learned. It was truly bonding. (I always tear up when I think or talk about it.)
Soon after the training, I saw my daughter putting her training into practice by being an “active bystander” and reassuring a friend who had made a report of abuse that she had “done the right thing.”
She was not only able to know how to protect her child, she was vigilantly caring for other kids around her.
Grandparents! We know your adult/parent children are crazy busy — but grab them and take them to a child abuse prevention training with you or babysit for the grand kids while they take a training.
If you haven’t taken the training yourself, schedule a time to do that. YOU can be an active bystander by learning how to protect your grand kids, knowing the signs of abuse and knowing how to react responsibly if you suspect abuse.
The fact is that many sexually abused children (possibly your grandchildren) will suffer trauma severe enough to negatively impact their adult lives. They are 3X more likely to abuse drugs or alcohol and 2x more likely to drop out of school.
We may be older, but going forward and armed with knowledge of the true threat, we must do better for our grandchildren. As active bystanders, we truly can be a powerful force for good in the lives of the children of our community and future generations.
You can find out more and sign up for the FREE Protect Our Children training here: http://cacjc.org/trainings